This is my first post. I've been battling anxiety for about 9 years now. I'd thought that I really turned a corner when I finally got through my teaching degree and landed a job at the school of my dreams last year. I had a great time there last year but this year it just never felt right. There was a change to the leadership which brought a lot of changes to the school and our workload. I initially thought 'I love the kids, I'm happy to have a job and I can make this work'. I ended up being miserable though. I suffered insomnia, felt sick driving to work and always felt edgy/anxious while I was there. I got to breaking point and decided to take some time off to get better with the hope to go back. Today I made the decision to resign as I don't want to risk further damage to my mental health. I swing from feeling enormously relieved about this decision to feeling terrified and just wanting to hide under the doona. My family have been supportive but none of them have been through this. I guess I'm feeling a bit alone at the moment and was wondering if anyone else has had this kind of experience? I'm finding it hard to see how things are going to work out. I'm hoping it will be for the best because I'm putting my self and my health first but I'm just having a tough time coming to terms with my decision.
It is definitely making a difference. I'm starting to feel more at peace with the decision and have moments where I feel excited about what's ahead. I'm hoping there will be more of these to come. Sometimes I still feel a bit anxious, especially in the morning but this is getting a little easier each day.
Thank you I am thinking of the exact same thing for the next few weeks. I don't want to rush back into anything and I do feel like I need to take care of myself. I'm going to start playing tennis again on Tuesday which I'm really excited about!
Thank you Mary, that helps a lot! I still really miss seeing them at work each day - that was one thing my workplace had going for it. I will try and shift my focus as you suggested - I don't want to keep dwelling on the sense of loss because I know that workplace was ultimately toxic for me.
Great to read that you do have a support network and can tell people about how you are feeling... I know it can feel like your burdening people by always talking about your feelings but remember these people care about you and want the best for you, this is the road you are currently on and you will overcome it. I think you will move on from the sense of loss from the workplace with time.. need to keep telling yourself you have done the right thing for yourself.
I'm struggling a bit at the moment. I had a few really good days but then I got my stuff back from school, had to be in contact with them to tie up a few loose ends and signed with an employment agency for next term. I thought that this would make me feel a bit better but it has just stirred everything back up. I'm beating myself up for my decision even though I know rationally that I did the right thing and beating myself up for having bad days. I just feel crap - like I'll never come out of this cycle. It's been weeks and weeks and I just want to get better. I guess I need some reassurance about this. I have recovered from bouts of this in the past but it's so so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I feel so tired and anxious.
That is the power of anxiety winning and making you overthink everything... Just my own thought but I think you may be holding onto this fear that you made the wrong choice about resigning and are waiting for it to really become a problem. You really need to take a step back... assess the situation and remember you made the right choice for your health. Remember each and every day is a different battle with anxiety with some days better than others. You will come out of this cycle... it is not uncommon I feel due to personal experience to fall back into the anxiety cloud but remember you have got out of it before and you will again. That light at the end of tunnel sometimes just dims a little too dark but it is their, just keep pushing until you see it shining bright again.
I think you're right. I keep worrying about the consequences my decision could have and then torturing myself over how long it is taking to feel better again. I'm trying some meditation. Hoping it helps
That is anxiety 101 in my opinion. We worry about the repercussions of our actions. You will learn slowly to deal with it. Just remain as positive as possible.
