Kinda over it

[Andre_P]

People may remember me. The guy that spent 3 agonising months trying to acquire a house.

to be brief I’m doing slightly better but I still am fighting with myself everyday - with ocd and I am still not even close to be in a position to find work. I have managed to suppress the fear I have to a point, but I am doing sh*t loads of avoidance, more time consuming rituals and in general just not happy with where I want to be. My sleeping patterns are very poor too, always going to be wired and waking up tired. This whole this is actually depressing me too.

im waiting on an appointment with my specialist (urologist) so that I can tackle my fear head on and do exposure therapy with ritual rejections/resistance. Unfortunately this will take time and now Centrelink are not accepting any more of my certificates.

I have also booked an app with a psychiatrist now to get a full diagnosis. Since Centrelink have left me no choice I am going to be applying did the disability support pension. As I also have a physical disability with my shorter leg and back pain too which I will add on it.

I don’t plan to be on this forever but I need some help. Any tips on applying for dsp.

this is not ultimately what I wanted but my condition definitely isn’t temporarily at this point of time. I hate the system and I’m feeling really down.

I just want to be like I used to be 2 years ago - happy and normal 😕

[Doolhof]

Hi Andre_P,

Love the fist pump, thanks for that!

I understand how being out of your comfort zone can be debilitating. Sometimes our emotions, thoughts and feelings take over before we even realise we have sunk so low or escalated into a not so pleasant state of unwellness.

Some days it seems all we can do is to keep breathing and wish for a brighter tomorrow. I am looking at those days as being positives now. A chance for the body to rest, to relax and read a book or watch a movie maybe.

The avatar you are using, is that a photo of your cat? Animals can be wonderful companions. Our cat is okay as long as I don't go to pat her! Ha. Ha. She tolerates me because I feed her.

Hope you have a good weekend too.

Cheers from Dools

[geoff]

Hi Andre, I have been reading this particular thread even though I haven't replied as yet.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Andre_P]

Hey, yes it’s a pic of my cat. She’s beautiful and I love her very much. She’s very good company but also demanding haha.

I have soo many triggers though that I don’t really even watch movies that often. Honestly sleep is number 1, that’s how this whole thing started. Lack of sleep led to mental health decay and now this is now leading to further lack of sleep.

arr it’s like I’m always fighting or im always tired yet unable to sleep when I want (or lack of quality or quantity)

I really do miss the old me, I could sleep on a cactus with music blaring 10 years ago (almost anyway)

Hi Geoff how are you doing mate, getting there 👊

[Andre_P]

Thx for popping in and saying hi Geoff, hope all is well mate 👊🙂

[geoff]

Hello Andre, can I ask if you've seen the urologist yet as this could be a trigger why you can't sleep.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi Andre_P,

Your cat looks so cute. They really do have their own personalities and characters don't they! Some are so friendly and others are very arrogant, or they can be both simultaneously!

Sorry to read you have so many triggers and you don't sleep well. That is certainly a combination that must make you very tired and drained and possibly on edge a lot of the time.

I know these are pretty well standard suggestions, but have you tried any relaxation or meditation exercises to help you relax? I know I have in the past then forget about them until I am struggling again!

Have you Googled "Sleep Hygiene" strange title but you may find some suggestions there that may help you. There is a thread or two here at BB as well about sleep.

Back to cats, I can't have the cat on the bed when I am trying to sleep as she walks all over me, scratches my nose with her claws or sits in front of me and whacks me in the face with her tail and she meows a lot!

Hope you find some ways to sleep a little better! Allt he best with that.

Cheers from Dools

[Andre_P]

Hey Geoff yea man that’s basically what my whole thing is based around. Nar I haven’t but I’m in the system the public system and now waiting waiting waiting. I know I’ll get over this but 1. It could be 3-6 months waiting and then I got to actually apply myself after that. Could be a year at least before I’m back to my old self. I can’t work in the mean time. The problem is with Centrelink DSP I heard you need to be 2 years incapacitated to be eligible for the DSP. The whole system is whacked and people unfortunately fall through the cracks. Unfortunately they won’t accept any more med Certs on jobseeker so yep I’m falling through the cracks in their corrupt system 😕

I just want help til I’m back to where I know I can get to 👊

just time that’s all I need along with therapy and support 👊

[Andre_P]

Hello dools yes I do meditation. That helps a lot but I find all it really does it limit my triggers with avoidance. I do write things down on paper to get them off my mind and then cross them out again and rip them up. I found it helps but then it started turning into rituals, meaning I was doing it more and more with just mindless thoughts. Ultimately I have to get over my obsessions and the only way to do that is to get over my fear. I have done a little bit of a book on ocd from Johnston abramavits (spelling?) but that knocked me a bit just identifying all my symptoms. I’ll have to get back into it though when I feel up to it.

yes my cat sleeps on my bed, she takes up a lot of room lol. She good company though 🙂 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Andre, I know that our health system is certainly not favoured towards the patient and hasn't been for a long time, not unless you have insurance or it's covered by a government agency, such as TAC or Worksafe, in other words, those needing immediate attention still have to wait, again, not unless you're admitted urgently into the public system.

Have a look at this site which mayor may not be helpful 'www.thermh.org.au › clinical-services › urology' or 'bulk billing urologist near me', all you need is a written report so you can pass this onto Centrelink.

Compulsions are behaviours are in an attempt to get rid of the obsessions and/or decrease your distress, but one step to take is to be able to hide what you do, then no one can start criticising you, this will stop any pressure inflicted on you.

It's also possible to replace one obsession, compulsion or ritual with something else and every time you move house one obsession will stop, simply because your sequence of how you do your rituals changes.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi Andre_P,

I'm with you, reading about our conditions can both highlight what is wrong while assisting us to find ways to make changes and help ourselves. Getting that balance right in our minds can be tricky when we try to do it alone.

Recently I went to a Dr to assist me with severe depression, he told me there was nothing he could do to help and suggested I went home to read a web site about controlling distressed thoughts. That web site distressed me even more due to the state I was in.

I have returned to it and found some bits helpful.

Wish I had some answers for you around Centrelink and the DSP pension. I was told my mental health state had to be stable for 2 years before I could be considered for a DSP on mental health grounds! If my mental health was stable for 2 years I wouldn't need their financial help to get me through life!

The system is hard to understand.

Really do wish I had some answers for you. I am sorry you are struggling so much. Not sure what to suggest as far as possibly receiving financial assistance from any where else temporarily.

Regards from Dools