Hi Mack,
I'm sorry to hear that alcohol is having such a controlling force over your daily life and how you cope with emotions. If you don't mind me asking, have you been diagnosed with OCD by your doctor? I have had clinical OCD for a decade, though it's milder now because I take medication for it, have great support from family and my boyfriend, and have sought professional help before. With the support of others as well as professional help, you can experience positive changes with time. Like Venessa, I suggest you make an appointment with your GP soon to discuss your mental health concerns.
In terms of a "healthy" high, I know that moderate level physical activity can produce this effect. For example, running can produce natural endorphins in the body, which causes a person to feel good. This effect probably won't be achieved instantly, but will develop with fitness. The only physical activity I do is walking, so I don't take advantage of the "runner's high". I used to run as a teenager though. Doing good deeds can give you an emotional feeling of happiness and wellbeing. Volunteering is great for this, as is participating in community group events. This may sound corny, but studies have shown this to be the case (and I have found this to be mostly true in my personal life).
I also feel happier after spending time with my boyfriend. Simple physical affection like hugging and kissing, in addition to doing nice things for each other such as back massages, is great.
I hope you can make an appointment with your doctor. Stay hopeful - you can do this!
Best wishes,
SM
