Jumping to quick into my career

[STR]

I think I'm starting to regret my career choice, and I don't know if I'm just in need of a break or if my job is not right for me. I think I jumped too quickly and that I was just 'ticking the boxes' because I ended up in a law degree. How do I know if I'm in the right place?

I'm employed as a paralegal in a boutique law firm in Sydney. I've been employed at this firm for approximately 2 years. I was admitted as a solicitor in NSW last year but because I felt I wasn't ready to practice, I have not obtained my practicing certificate.

I was employed almost immediately after graduation, but I had never had any prior experience during my time studying so even to this day I feel like everything is very new. A law degree wasn't even my first choice when finishing high school. The uni course I ended up in, I didn't even remember selecting - and rightly so it was apparently my 7th choice at the time. I wanted to get into graphic design. I enjoyed learning about the law but even to this day I struggled to see how I would fit into the profession. I don't have the 'common sense' that lawyers do.

Approximately 8 months ago one of the solicitors, who I had the most contact with and heavily relied on for guidance resigned without proper communication and I feel like I am still adjusting to this change. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing half the time but I'm expected that I should know.

Because the change was so sudden, a lot of the roles got switched around. A lot of the administrative things that the previous solicitor did was given to me and I had to learn everything on my own. I felt like there wasn't anyone to seek help from.

I'm now struggling to understand what's expected of me and I loathe going to work. Things I thought were done correctly are not and (I suppose rightly so because I should have just asked for help) I'm getting called up on it.

My heads a mess right now. It has been since probably April and it's affecting my sleep and my appetite. My brain won't 'shutdown' and then it keeps replaying everything I've done and need to do like a record.

I feel like I'm being ungrateful because unlike so many other law graduates I was lucky enough to get employed straight away. I also thought I was enjoying what I was done doing. But now I can't seem to stop thinking about anything work related, I'm stressing out, my head is a mess and I'm making mistakes that I don't realise until later.

How do I know what I should be doing?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi STR,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here!

I hear that you're having a really tough time with your role and it's making you question if it's the right place to be. I'm sorry that one of the solicitors left with no notice; it sounds like that added a lot of pressure that you didn't need!

Your question was 'how do I know what I should be doing?'. I'm not sure if I can answer that one though because 'spoiler alert'! Nobody really knows! I've never met a person entirely sure that they're on the right track or doing the right thing.

I can say though that the fact your work is affecting your sleep, mood and appetite is an indication something isn't right. Maybe it's not the job but the role itself; law graduates can work in a variety of different fields and different company organisations provide different environments. Or maybe it's that law isn't for you and to make an entire career change. Do you think you would want to try graphic design again?

Maybe first though it might be about trying to ease the immediate stress on you right now; by looking at what sorts of things might make your job easier. Is there someone you can ask for help? Do you have other colleagues or managers that can make things a little easier?