IS THERE SUCH A THING AS OVER-EXPOSURE?

[Supergirl]

Six months ago I suffered from agoraphobia and was unable to leave the house for fear of panic attacks and of what other people would think of me. I am obese and very self conscious about my weight, I have been bullied for most of my life and verbal abuse seems to stick in your mind for a long time. I have a good Psychiatrist and with some counscelling I was able to start leaving the house doing short exposure therapies. Each time I did a bit more, and with each success came confidence and the paranoia less. A few months down the track I found I was going out all the time and about a month before Christmas the crowds were insane. I think in the field of Psychiatry they call this therapy flooding. I wasn't sleeping and was extremely anxious and stressed which resulted in a severe panic attack last Friday in the midst of a crowd of people at a shopping centre I know well. I didn't pass out and was able to escape the crowd and get into a quiet place and spend 10 minutes breathing deeply and then meeting up with a friend to go home. I had to go back into the shopping centre so this was stressful as I just wanted to crawl into bed and never venture out again. Had I regressed?

I feel that I have done too much shopping in busy places and it doesn't seemed to have eased off any since Christmas. I am irritated, exhausted, fed-up and ready to give up. I have to ask the question has all this exposure been too much? Have I gone to the other extreme and has it been detrimental to my health? Has anyone got any advice? I have 3 days at home to rest for now, but have to face the crowds again after that and am not looking forward to it. How should I handle it. I need to put into practise some relaxation techniques and deep breathing when I'm not anxious so that when I am, I can use this to my advantage. Anxiety disorders take up so much energy in your life and prevent you from living a life that you really want to live. I have suffered from social phobia, panic attacks, depression and agoraphobia on and off since I was very young. When my condition started there was no information available and no-one to talk to about what was happening, it was a terrifying experience and one I'll never forget. Thank goodness there is so much information out there now for young people, they no longer have to suffer in silence. I would appreciate any feedback anyone else has in the area of exposure? How much is too much. I find with everything,, I am an all or nothing girl. HELP!

[kanga_brumby]

Dear Supergirl, Similar to yourself I am a larger size person. When I had a partner we would go to certain events around town. People would stare at one or both of us, mainly because she was in a wheelchair. Or at me because of my size and clothing I was wearing. Sometimes you would see them talking and gesture in our direction. It's hard to know what was said. So I chose to ignore them and keep on doing what we were doing. Because it wasn't illegal, to be doing what we were doing at the time. After her death it got harder because I was then a single dad. The perception was, he is a single dad now and wants a new partner to be a mother for the children. When all I wanted was someone to talk to. But it's not about me. Just try to join a walking group, a small one will do. It's an outlet getting you out of the house. Then it gives you a small group of people to talk to. Rather than a large group of people to contend with. Personally I hate large shopping centers, to many people. Large groups shudder time.

Kanga

[Croix]

Dear Supergirl

It's tough, but I really think you are going OK. If it was me, and I've had very similar, I learned among other things about the worry over worry and my reactions - a major contributor to it all. You already know this I'm sure.

Just so you know who you’re talking to at the moment, I'm an ex-policeman who was invalided out of the force with PTSD and related problems including Chronic Anxiety. I'm a lot better now and it is far away in the past. I got though to a mostly stable state. I had a help.

So I know about chronic anxiety, not quite the same but close.

You were worried about this, if you don't mind I'll quote you:
I have to go grocery shopping on Thursday and then to a shopping centre on Friday to get some Christmas presents, I am dreading it, worrying about it, and it is making me physically ill. I'll be glad when this week is over.

OK if I understand correctly you were worrying big-time in advance, it did cause a hassle, you crashed. You also picked yourself up. You are now worried about a repeat performance, or if you have 'strained' something by trying too hard.

Firstly think, like I have, of all the victories up to date, each a little increment on the last. If you were like me they were not even, sometimes I'd react to something I thought I'd be OK with, based on past experience, sometimes not.

This time you bit off a pretty big hunk, and you choked. Well OK build up to it again, it will not -at least for me - take as long to do so, and next time - who knows.

For me it was never a matter of absolutes, there was no nice even graph curving smoothly up, it was jaggies with an overall positive trend towards my current far better state.

My best wishes

Croix

[blondguy]

Hi Supergirl

I feel your pain so much. Kanga & Criox have some great helpful advice above.

To answer your initial question.....If a shopping center is too much and is a huge trigger, find a smaller group of shops that you can be reasonably comfortable walking around....even a strip shopping center...

I have had chronic anxiety and now have manageable depression. I hear you...loud and clear.

Over Exposure whether you are pre-thinking the event or not is a dark place to be in....If possible visit the local shops without diving into a huge monolith center with all the parking and crowds.

I dont know anything about 'therapy flooding' but Ive had the same as you for over 30 years and yes there is a huge downside to repeated exposure when we are healing.

Our condition is no different than asking a person in a wheelchair to get up and sprint.....

You are a legend for having a therapist and working with him/her.....Excellent! Those appointments are great value to help us heal. If you have a 'switched on GP' go for it and visit them as frequently as possible....I have done this for 20 years and my GP always gives me re-assurance and support.

Please dont over expose yourself to major situations as I did and hinder your own recovery Supergirl

(If I may ask you if you have been offered a anti anxiety med that may help you rebuild your foundations...and take the edge off this awful anxiety?)

there are many kind people that can be here for you. You are more than welcome to post as many times as you wish.

you are not alone here Supergirl

my kindest thoughts for you

Paulx

[Croix]

Dear Supergirl,

Paul has given you some pretty meaningful ideas, going to a smaller establishment for now sounds pretty good.

Looking back on my post I did say:

Well OK build up to it again, it will not -at least for me - take as long to do so, and next time - who knows.

I think now I might have said a little more. At the time I was trying to show the matter was normal, and should be seen in that perspective (maybe you thought it a little unfeeling - it was not meant to be).

Anyway I can offer an example from my own (ridiculous) struggles - fear of the mailbox. No I did not think our ratty old metal box would leap up and bite me - but I did feel dread approaching it to collect the mail.

If you wonder why it relates to a long-running set of circumstances in the police - irrelevant for this discussion.

To get over this fear I would consistently buy something very cheap but pleasant (ex-library books from the US was/is a favorite) that would be delivered by post.

That way there was a pleasant 'spur' to get me to go look inside the box. Over time it worked, I rarely have that feeling now.

When you are faced with an onerous task, such as a shopping mall, is it possible to employ a similar ploy?

I hope you will say how you are getting on.

My best wishes

Croix