I think I might actually have anxiety..

[Sam_]

About 2 years ago I had to see a psychiatrist as part of a job interview and I was told that I have anxiety. I didn't really know what it was at the time but now I'm starting to think that I really do have anxiety.

From year 2 in primary school to year 10 in high school, I was bullied most days and it was mainly only verbal insults and things like that but when I was in year 8 it started to get physical and the school didn't do anything even though teachers had seen some form of bullying towards me (they wouldn't say what had been seen). This strongly impacted on my confidence and self-esteem and I'm still affected by it today. During these years of bullying I had a few panic attacks which would happen only at night, either before I went to sleep or I would wake up having the attack. I don’t recall having a panic attack for a few years now.

I get very nervous when doing things that I haven't done before i.e. yesterday I was pulled over by police, breath tested and he gave me some extra P plates because mine had broken off. During this my hands were shaking, my heart was racing and I was talking really fast even though I knew I had done nothing wrong.

Which leads to my next problem. This year I have had two "mental" breakdowns, one at the end of January which lasted an hour or two and the other last night which wasn't as bad I don't think. I don't know what caused the first one but last night I figured it was because I've been on a massive high and the police thing shook me up a bit and I came crashing down.

During these breakdowns I would tell myself that I'm not going anywhere in life, I can't achieve anything and that I'm useless and of course I begin to believe myself.

I've only really spoken to one of my very good friends about it and that was last night. She has convinced me to see a psychiatrist about it but because I can't really afford it, so writing this is really my first step.

Does anyone else have these problems? How do you cope with them?

I think I also show some signs of depression as well?

Any feedback would be great.

I am intending on seeing a psychiatrist when I can afford to.

[JessF]

Hello Sam, in the first instance you don't need to see a psychiatrist, you can go to your GP which hopefully is a bulk billing one so it may not cost you anything at all. Your GP can refer you on for other treatment from there if necessary, most likely to a psychologist where you can have some counselling.  There are subsidised appointments available which will bring the cost down.

How to cope during panic attacks? deep breathing can help a lot. Something called 'grounding', in which you sit down and start to consciously 'feel' the parts of your body, your feet on the floor, your back against the chair, this helps pull you back into the moment.  Anxiety is all about FEAR (false evidence appearing real) and worrying about the future.  These techniques are like an umbrella in the rain, they don't stop the rain or even keep you 100% dry, but they will help protect you while the feelings pass.  Reminding yourself gently that the feelings will pass and that you will calm can be reassuring too.

[Lex]

Hi Sam,  It sounds horrible what you have been going through,  I went through similar things but with a family member.  My panic attacks came on years after when I had a stressful job.  You should go and see your GP and have them do a Mental Health check and see if you should start taking some medication.

[Sam_]

Thank you JessF. I will make an appointment with my doctor sometime in the next week. It's not so much a panic attack but leading up to my moments I get restless and tired at the same time and because I haven't told my family I put on a brave face until I go into my room (I know I shouldn't but we all have our methods even if they aren't the best) and that's when I breakdown.

Thank you for your advice, I'll definitely try to use those techniques.

[Sam_]

Hi Lex. Thank you for your reply, I am planning on seeing my doctor in the coming weeks and I'll have the check up. Hopefully it's not as bad as I think it'll be.