I sought out help but...

[Just_Another_Girl]

A while ago a friend of mine decided to take me to Headspace to see a shrink as I'm really not sure what it is that's wrong with me but it's become apparent that something is, in fact, wrong. I also had a second friend there to make sure I didn't run away. This was only to make the appointment.

In the past I had a terrible experience with quite possibly the worst shrink in Australia. So I was incredibly anxious about seeking help again. After I managed to get through the paperwork to make the appointment my hands were already shaking so the receptionist gave me some information with an email so that I could contact the staff to fee more comfortable about going. I emailed them and received a reply which, upon reading, put my nerves at ease for a while. Never-the-less as my appointment date grows nearer I've become more and more worried to the point where I considered simply not going. However the fact that I had a group of three people accompanying me would make that pretty tricky.

My main point is, two out of my three have just bailed and the third isn't sure if she'll make it on the day, meaning I'm free to skip my appointment and no one could stop me. But at the same time, my friend who originally convinced me to go took the time out to try to get me to help myself and even thought it makes me cringe to think about, I feel like I'm obligated to go even I know I couldn't so much as step into the building on my own. I just don't know what to do.

So somebody, anybody, please if you have any advice or ideas of what I should do to help the situation it could really help me. My appointment is only a few days from now and there's almost nothing stopping me from cancelling or not showing up.

I need help. I just really don't want it.

[giggles]

Hi Just

Wow what a position you have been put in by others it is one thing to say they will support you but it is another to leave you at the door. Everything you have mentioned about them and you is based on fear feelings.

They are tormenting your decision to seek help and winning everytime they succeed in stopping you from seeking appropriate help.

It is such a shame a bad experience with a psyc has left you untrustworthy. I get it I have not always trusted complete strangers. However Just the trick is do you feel you need help with something because they are no different to going to the chemist for band aids.

If you decide not to go at least do some research on this site and see if you connect to what perhaps someone has written because you may feel alone but we are not. that first step is really your own responsibility and is always easier when you feel you need to learn a tool to help get through what ever is bothering you,

Have a read about the anxiety on the site it has alot of power of people lets see if you can learn how to get it back.

It is a life thing though never give up on yourself you  can get angry fed up or whatever for days on end but you still answer to yourself in the end.

good luck Be nice if a true friend of family member could support you in this.

Giggles

[Neil_1]

Hi Just_Another_Girl (JAG) - but I seriously argue against that ... you're not just another girl ... you are YOU and you are special and just as special as anyone else either here or out there.  🙂

I back up what Giggles responded to you with and also would like to go a tad further with Giggles's last comment - in that, ok, these other friends have bailed on you (or at least two of the three have) - if the 3rd one does, which I truly hope for your sake they don't;  is there some way that you could possibly get a family member or maybe a neighbour or perhaps another friend to accompany you along.

Before I move on, is it possible to let your 3rd friend know just HOW MUCH you need this appointment and how hugely supportive it will be of her to accompany you?  Just state how important this will be.  You know I'd even go back to the other two and try this.  You may have already but if not, I think it's definitely worth a go.  It is for your welfare and safety ... do they not consider that worthwhile?

It's cases like this that I think, damnit ... if I knew you and was able to be there for you, I'd go along with you. I'd be there to support you all the way ... all the way there and then all the way back as well.  Pipe dreams Neil, pipe dreams.

You did mention that when you received feedback from this new place where you'll be going you felt more at ease about going, which to me is a very positive sign.

Do you feel anxious about going because of how you were treated in your first visit to that shocker of a psych in the past??  Obviously that answer would be yes, but do you feel that there's other things that are making it so difficult for you to go?

Say, like the process of unloading to the psych?  A technique I use to my psych, my other psych and my GP is that I type down on a piece of paper the issues that I'd like to raise for that particular appointment ... and the list can be as long as you want it to be.  You can either then use the list as a starting point;  or you could hand the list over, so you both can work through things from that, or you could just talk and use it just as a memory jogger.  Just a thought ... but with it, just create dot points kind of things and then between the two of you, it's from there that you can delve into things further.

JAG, I hope that something between myself and Giggles that we've been able to help a little ... and please write back to let us know how you're going.

Kind regards

Neil

[blue9476]

I don't believe your just another girl people obviously love and care about you enough to help you through your situation. I myself have had terrible experiences with psychs which exacerbates my trust issues and leaves me wondering who i can really talk to. but without the help of my current psychs i don't know where i would be or how much worse my situation would be. (and its horrible atm 🙂 ) just because two of your friends can't make it to your appointment doesn't mean there intentionally bailing on you which I'm sure your head is telling you they would still want you to make your appointment and the fact these people at headspace emailed you back shows you how much they really care about your health as well.

Asking for help is terrifying...but admitting you need the help is even more terrifying. you've made that step which is commendable and you need to trust in your own ability to take the next step and talk to someone that who knows you may really get along with. and if not don't give up looking for that connection with someone that you can get along with. there are a lot of a**holes out there that are just after a pay check and head home to their mansions driving a Mercedes but there are also lots of people that really do care and really do want to help you out of the terrible place you've found yourself in. 

life's all about taking chances and your friends would want you to take this chance and step through that door to seek the help you need i understand you may not want it who really wants to ask for help but in times of need none of us will turn a blind eye to the issue. i want to run away every time i step into someones office but i know without there help I'm just going to be stuck in the same situation that i was in years ago. even use a distraction like a rubber band on your your wrist that you can flick and play with to ease your nerves or just something in your hands you can focus on and mess around with so your not completely focused on your appointment. sounds stupid but it helps a lot. Distraction. and believe in yourself to take that step forward and look to the future it definitely sounds like you want to move forward and this is your opportunity. i hope something i have said has helped you cause i know how scary your position is to go through and start fresh with a new psych. forget that other one their useless and you not going back has let them know that. just breathe and trust yourself. :). take care and please go to your appointment. Blue (Ps. if you read my post you'll see how bad just one of my psychs really was haha)