I’m so tired of myself and my mental health.

[Giraffe]

Hi everyone. I’m 51 and a nurse. I’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression nearl my whole life. It’s been really bad the last year or so, I’m really sad today and oh so lonely. Nearly my whole life I feel this way. I’m so done with it. Wish my life was over.

I’m a single parent to a 19 year old boy. He still lives at home but I hardly ever see him, he’s very busy. I have no partner and have been single for nearly 20 years. I don’t see this ever changing. I don’t see my life ever changing for the better either. I just wanted to tell someone.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Giraffe,

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your journey with us here today.

As you know, our onlines forums provide a safe and non-judgmental places where users give and receive support to one another based on their own experiences with mental health, so of which will resonate with yours. While the support offered here is often quick, it is not immediate.

For more immediate support please don't hestiate to reach out to our support service 24/7 on 1300 22 4636.

[quirkywords]

Giraffe

I too welcome you to the forum.

I can feel your tiredness loneliness and pain through the words.

It can be so hard when you feel so alone and not connected to others.

Thanks for reaching out, Sophie has suggested a help line. Sometime talking with another can help so we feel listened to.i

[Guest_4643]

Hey Giraffe, welcome.

I'm sorry you feel this way, I can imagine how stressful but rewarding being a Nurse is. Thank you for all you do. I'm sure you're a great Mum and Nurse.

We're here for you. i'm sorry you don't see your 19yo son much, I hope that improves.

[Annas1]

Hi Giraffe,

we are all hearing you and want you to know we get that this is really tough and can feel so lonely. I can identify with your sense of lifelong struggle with your mental health - often linked to soldiering on or masking distress. Thanks so much for fronting up and telling us how things really are. To me, you are admirable - the tenacity to keep going when managing ill health is impressive. I sometimes remember to reflect on my own perseverance when I'm struggling. It takes guts to take care of yourself and fulfil your responsibilities. Don't forget this Giraffe!

I know these words won't change how your feeling immediately, but I hope they can shift your thought habits - you have demonstrated strength and capability and you are worthy of support. Consider the support options available (work-place counsellor, GP) and commit to taking care of yourself.

Thinking of you.

Annas

[ThomasJakeLim]

Hi Giraffe. Firstly thanks for serving the community. It must be tough being in a job that gives continuously while running on empty emotionally. You sharing your experience let us know we are not alone. My happy place is gardening. I hope you discover your happy place, give it a go and see if it heaps you cope better. It gives me opportunities to step out of dark places and enjoy some happy moments.

[Petal22]

Hi Giraffe ,

sorry you are feeling this way.... I’m sure you are a wonderful person who deserves the best....

don’t forget to give yourself some self love... tell yourself many positive things about yourself every day.... perceptions can be changed and mindsets can be changed for the positive.... it just takes practice.... give yourself a positive mindset....

you won’t feel this way forever it’s temporary... believe good things are coming your way....

go out and do something you enjoy...... coffee with friends, gym class, walk on the beach, practice mindfulness and gratefulness.... think of 5 things a day that you are grateful for and do this daily to build positive thought patterns.....

do something nice for some one else it will make you feel good in return.. I like to buy a bunch of flowers and give them to a random stranger to make their day..., it makes my day too 😊

here if you want to chat

[Giraffe]

I just wanted to share with everyone how hard it is in this country to access mental help health care.

My journey started last year. Well I guess I’ve always been a bit of an anxious person and struggled with mental health issues but last year hit me like a ton of bricks. I started feeling terrified of the whole virus thing , started feeling really lonely , tired of being on my own ( it’s been nearly 20 years ) , liked a guy ( and told him) , who gave me lots of mixed messages who didn’t feel the same way back, tired of my family ( sister moved to Melbourne to get away from my mum who has a personality disorder) and my Dad is a bit wierd and lives in the country. I just felt and feel really alone. I have friends who are supportive but my feelings still remain. These are the steps I took to help myself.

Attend a support group weekly. Talked to friends. Go to church. Have a meditation app on my phone. Go for drives. Go to any social event going through work and church.
I presented at an emergency department 4 times last year feeling suicidal. The first time I was prescribed medication and sent home with a friend. The second time after waiting nearly 6 hours I left. The third time I waited nearly 6 hours and left. The forth time I was admitted to a hospital in the home program where 2 nurses saw me every day. Was very helpful.
 went to a doctor last week and told her I was suicidal. I got put into a suicide prevention program. I waited 2 weeks to get into someone. I had one session and then she was sick this week. 

[Petal22]

Sorry to hear how hard it is to receive mental health care....... that’s great you are doing things to help yourself....

Please know you arnt alone..... you can call Beyond Blue anytime to talk to someone....

can I ask if your doctor has prescribed you any medication? It can really help.....

hang in there 😊

[Giraffe]

I’m on a antidepressant.