I’m back after 7 month with worst anxiety and insomnia ever

[Lalunia82]

Hi,

Last time I post on this forum was July 2017 and I was feeling awful, though I will never battle my anxiety. But I did and was having a happy life till about 4 weeks ago when I started having “MS” king of symptoms like numbness in one side of face and dizziness. I started searching the answers on google and worrying that I have various illnesses like brain tumor, MS, stroke. I got myself panicked and ended up at the hostpital emergency. All tests, CT scan, MRI, blood tests came back normal and my neurologist said that I’m very healthy person. The symptoms I had are anxiety related. I was shocked to hear that all of that was an anxiety as before this happened I was not anxious at all. But once this simptomps developed and I started believing I have a serious illness, my anxiety kicked in.

Even after the neurologist’s assurance I’m healthy, I was still feeling anxious. I was crying every day, going to work was a struggle because I was aftraid to burts in tears in front of everyone. I started taking to myslef loudly :” I’m healthy, and this is just my brain who is trying to trick me”. Started taking some sleeping tablets and after having a decent night sleep, my anxiety level started reducing. I also started session with psychologist who was telling me that the anxiety is like a wave, it does not last forever. It will be bad for some time but it will go away eventually. And that happened. Last week I was getting really better, my physical symptoms of dizziness and numbness disappear and I thought anxiety is gone. Then it came back again on Monday this week. Since Monday I practically don’t sleep. Yesterday I was awake the whole night. The next morning I was hardly able to walk, brushing my teeth was a challenge. Today I took strong sleeping tables and was able to sleep 5h but anxiety is teeeible. I lost 5kg in last 4 weeks, I cannot swallow the food, I have terrible diarrhea and worrying horribly of losing my job. I have house settlement in 3 month in June 2018 and I cannot afford losing my job! Otherwise I won’t get loan and lose deposit. I’m getting married in poland (where I come from) in August and have so much financial commitments.

What do I do with my job? I’m to weak to work and everyone start noticing at work that I struggle. The session with psychologist don’t help much. I do everytjjng: yoga, meditation and nothing helps. I’m worrying that I’m going to die!!

please tell me how everyone who experience anxiety is able to work?

[PamelaR]

Hello Lalunia82

Welcome back to BeyondBlue forums. You ask - please tell me how everyone who experience anxiety is able to work?

You sound like you have a lot on your plate at the moment - buying a house, worrying about your anxiety, losing your job. All of these things will contribute to your anxiety level. I got anxious just reading it. Made sit and breath a bit.

I worked most of the time I suffered anxiety and depression, except when I had my breakdown.

I know the difficulties of getting to sleep so you can get up to go to work in the morning. Sleepless nights make you so tired and it only exacerbates the anxiety and depression. So for years when I was having a anxiety moment, I used to take medication that made me drowsy, not sleeping tablets, hayfever tablets with a little alcohol. I'd crash.I totally don't recommend this as a strategy!!

I've found for myself, the best sleeping agent is:

• getting to the bottom of the anxiety and/or depression (regular GP visits, regular health practitioner for anxiety and depression)
• focussing on my breathing, my breath
• exercising regularly (when I worked, I sat behind a desk all day, then went home to sit all evening)
• eating healthy foods and drinks, limiting alcohol consumption
• getting a balanced life - social, family, relationships
• sorting out any money worries
• talking to someone (friend/family member) about your worries to help you 'de-catastrophise' what's happening, e.g. house settlement, job worries etc.

I'm sure you'll have a lot of other supporters here that can help you with what works for them.

Let us know how you get on.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Lalunia82]

Thanks Pamela for some tips.

I have been trying almost everything. However there is another night without sleep today. It’s 3 am and I am wide awake, I have a feeling of a stone in my stomach and chest and feel nauseous. I took a sleeping tablet before bed and this doesn’t seem to work anymore as my anxiety escalated to the roof.

I acknowledge that living a healthy lifestyle is a basic for recoevery, but I’m so physically exhausted it’s even hard for me to get up and brush my teeth, not mentioned doing any exercise. Last week when my anxiety was a bit better I was doing yoga and Pilates every day. I see psychologist once a week, try to meditate and practice slowness breathing but this does not seem to work.

when I eat, I need to swallow things with water otherwise I will vomit.

I wonder if someone experienced such an acute anxiety.

How can I go to work tomorrow feeling so awful? I don’t even picture sitting on the chair in front of the computer and being able to concertante on anything... how can I survive these few month before my settlement and not lose my job? Can I ask doctor to give me some time off due to this terrible state of mind?

I am very against the antidepressant but I think I’m left with no choice and need to start taking them. Has anyone know how long does it take tto wait for the effect and if they actually work?

I feel completely lost and would rather die than live this way. This is not a life..

[Crystallily]

Hi there Lalunia,

Im not sure how your doing now, but just reading what you have wrote is exactly what I'm going through ATM it all started with finding a lump in my side of the neck and having a headache that was really bad I then went on Google and completely set of this anxiety which I have never had before. I went to the gp and did multiple test for all sorts of things I had head scan, Mri, bloods and heart monitor n everything came back absolutely fine. I'm 25 3 beautiful babies and a wonderful partner. I to get really crazy physical symptoms tingling sensation in my arms and legs and the worst insomnia I can not fall asleep at all everytime I close my eyes and try rest I get this (adrenaline like rush and my heart starts to beat out of my chest) and I have to start breathing and I feel like I can't get a deep full breath it's the worst thing I've ever been through currently on week 2 of no sleep only by sleeping pills n feel so horrible still, So I can relate to what you have said I was wondering how you are doing now????