I'm a newbie here!! 😊

[Eme]

Hi!

This is my first thread, here goes.

I have been suffering from Anxiety for about 12 years. I had diarrhea for 2 years straight in my early 20's after dealing with being sexually abused when I was young. I ignored my toilet problem as I was hoping it would just go away. Then out of no where had a panic attack & it has all stemmed from there. Started meds after I lost twins & whilst my Father was dying from Parkinson's Disease. 

A couple of years later I had Labyrinthitis (middle ear/vertigo) HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SICK IN MY LIFE!!! 

Since then I have worried about being dizzy/passing out etc. I also have this breathing thing, always trying to catch my breath, struggle to take a deep breath then slowly wind myself up to constantly just taking short little breathes. I know it's all in my head as I don't have it until I start thinking about it & putting focus on it. 

I gave birth 11 weeks ago & also have a little 3 year old boy so life has been hectic. I've been so exhausted that I've started getting dizzy spells ( only had a couple) 😞.. My brain isn't shutting off so I'm not going into a deep sleep then waking up feeling EXHAUSTED..

So now I've started the green eyed monster up again.. 

I'm CONSTANTLY thinking about getting dizzy, I'm not leaving the house unless I have to & I hate it as I can't keep my son from getting out and about but I'm scared. 

Unsure if I should go & see a councillor or not?! I have never fully vented about what happened when I was younger because a GP told me to not bring up the past?! 

Some advice would be great, thanks for reading.

P

[Maxco]

Eme,  

I see glimpses of myself in what you have written.  To have old thoughts that need to be expressed and then be told to "forget the past" is illogical and extremely simplistic.  You must not live in the past but "live in the now" and look forward to tomorrow.  

You do need to talk to a professional about your concerns of past events and in doing so, unload some of that burden.  There is an old saying, "a problem shared is a problem halved". With guidance, you will then see more clearly the reasons for your present anxiety be able to follow a step by step plan to regaining the true you.

[Pixie15]

Hi Eme,

Welcome to BB. I have found a lot of support in participating on this forum. I hope you do to.

Maybe your GP was not the best person to start talking about the past with. They tend to be very busy. They should be able to refer you on to someone who you can talk to though. Try seeing your GP again and just let them know about your anxiety symptoms and that you need to talk to someone about things that are worrying you.

Other than that if you have a women's health center in your area they will probably supply some sort of counselling services. It does not seem to be a positive thing that you are afraid to leave your home although I can understand it when you have two young children to care for and you are anxious. Please try and get some help.

When I did therapy the year before last I found I had a lot of past issues that I was carrying that I had not really dealt with. I started a journal and basically went back and wrote about my life from the beginning. My first memories. As well as what was happening now on a day to day basis. It really helped me process some of the negative things that had happened to me in a more positive way. 

If you are feeling really exhausted and having dizzy spells have you had your iron levels checked recently? Even if you have experienced physical symptoms because of your anxiety in the past I think it is a good idea to have new ones checked out.

 Grateful.

[Eme]

Maxco, you just inspired me to try & live in the now without fear of anything & maybe just grateful for today.

I will definitely go & see someone as I think it's time for me to let go of some of my past..

Thanks so much for your reply..

Eme

[Eme]

Grateful,  I spoke to my GP about seeing a Counsellor & she was wonderful & seemed to have time for me. But she just has the opinion of "Let sleeping dogs lie" so to speak. But I have never told anyone about what happened for several years when I was younger & maybe it's time for me to release it all. I was in two minds as she made me think that I should just leave it all alone.. Also had full bloods done just the other day, even B12 & Vit D & everything is perfect, so it seems to be just exhaustion from not going into a deep sleep as my mind won't switch off. 

Thanks so much for replying.. 

 Eme 

[Pixie15]

Hi Eme,

Just looking through my threads and wondering how you are going.

I can maybe understand what your doctor means about letting the sleeping dogs lie. If you have never talked to anyone about it and dealt with what happened to you it might help to talk about it before you let it go.

Grateful.

[Eme]

Hi Grateful,

Thanks for thinking of me. 

Well I have seen a counsellor, I've had one session & let a lot "out" so to speak. That day & the days following I have still been getting a lot of Anxiety 😞

The Insomnia is my killer! I can go to sleep with ease & I don't wake up at all until morning but wake up feeling hungover & that I haven't slept a wink. 

Im going to get to the Anxiety with my Counsellor in my next couple of visits..

Hope your well.. 

Eme

[Pixie15]

Hi Eme,

I am well thank you for asking.

From my experience doing CBT the anxiety actually became worse for me during the discovery phase when the psychologist was getting to know me and help me to understand where I was at. It was hard to talk about a lot of the things which were necessary. It did get better for me however.

Grateful.