I just want to feel normal again

[Jamie87]

Every morning I cry. I feel like a complete failure for no reason. The only person that makes me feel better is my boyfriend. We don't live together yet, so we spend weekends together. I have had so much happen in the last 5 years which has built up to this. My grandfather died, I have had two long term relationships end, I've moved 4 times. I've had to move back in with my parents twice which was a massive hit to the self esteem. I have lost a good job and spent time looking for a new career. I've rekindled with an old flame and I am terrified of losing him. I want to be my old self again. I never used to worry so much as I do now. I just want to escape myself and fly away, run away from the fear. I don't know how to fix it. I always feel distracted, I can't concentrate and I feel like I am constantly letting everyone down.

[Seeker26]

Hi Jamie87,

Welcome to the BB forum. Like you I am a newbie so I hope this post helps some. I am sorry to hear you are feeling this worried and upset each morning. It seems like from what you have said that you have experienced some hardships recently that has lead you to this point. Have you been open with your about your worries ? Do you have friends or good family support from you parents. I know it can sometimes be difficult to talk to those around you. Perhaps you could try talking to your GP about this. Your doctor may be able to point you in the right direction of a good psychologist. It sounds like you may benefit also from some reading into "self compassion". There are some good resources on this site that may give you some tips/strategies to help you cope with your days. Just remember you are not alone, you have the love of your family and your boyfriend and people out there who can help you sort through your emotions. Take care of yourself.