I don't really know what's wrong?

[lucy_de]

I'll start with the fact that I'm a teen, so part of me thinks this just all a part of 'growing up' but the other part of me isn't so sure.

Ive been feeling like this since about three years ago but I've noticed its worsened this year. I just have some symptoms I guess I'll list off in the hope that someone will have an idea on why I feel like this and maybe give some help? iI'm desperate ahhh.

• I've been feeling VERY tired this year, like an abnormal amount. I sleep a good amount each night (6-8 hours) but yet it feels like everything takes so much effort and that I've been just living life on auto-pilot. Its super hard to get out of bed in the morning just thinking about the day ahead. I'm drained by the end of each day even though they don't consist of tiring activities if that makes sense?

• I'm always nervous? I think this one is overthinking honestly. Like my friend will shift their tone in a conversation and I'll start stressing out thinking thoughts of "are they mad" "is there going to be a fight" when there never is? I just always seem to have these thoughts like something is bound to go wrong that's triggered by the tiniest things or when nothing's wrong at all.

• I never want to go out. Whenever my friends talk about hanging out or making plans, I FREAK out, I get super nervous, like 'about to ride a roller coaster' nervous and i want to curl up into a ball. I just want to isolate myself whenever I can and hate the thought of going out now.

• Well actually, I always want to curl up into a ball. Its not that I want to d*e its just want to not have to deal with the stress? I can't even do little things without freaking out anymore like asking a retail worker where something is or ordering food, let alone big things like making plans.

• I dunno I just feel numb too.

• im probably just freaking out right now and will regret this tomorrow morning but I still need to share.

I haven't told anyone about any of this because I fear my friends and family won't look at me the same. More so my friends as sometimes they don't take mental illness seriously. My family says things like "if you need to talk we're here" and I know they mean it I just can't, im scared they'll just brush it off or freak out, they've been through a lot. I recently discovered this website and just needed to say what's on my mind. So if you took the time to read this thank you so much I appreciate it a ton and hope it made sense. My love goes out to anyone who feels the same ❤️

[smallwolf]

Hi Lucy,

I have read your post, and welcome to beyond blue. Time does not permit a proper reply, I understand your feeling of being scared to tell your family. But from my own experience, there is a great relief when you can tell them, and for me, they did not treat me any differently. In fact, in some respects became close. I am not telling you what you should or should not do, but you are not alone.

Peace,

Tim

[smallwolf]

Hi Lucy (again),

If you felt the need the post here and if it makes you feel better, then please do. Don't regret doing this or feeling embarrassed. There is a saying about asking a question and it goes something like this "better to be a fool for a day than a fool for a life time" if you don't ask the question. The same applies I think when it comes to mental health. The other thing to remember is that each persons situation is unique so your "symptoms" can be different to mine.

Depending on whether you are at school, Uni, or working there are the different options in relation to speaking with someone. For myself, the starting point was doing the K10 test on the beyond blue web site. It is a short test and you get a recommendation at the end. For example, it suggested I talk to my GP. It is not conclusive and not the same as talking to someone but the next best thing.

You also mentioned your sleep problems. Do you fall sleep easily any time during the day? If so, this would be something else to talk to your GP about. My son would do sleep therapy and we found out that he has hypersomnia. Not saying this applies to you but worth following up?

For anxiety this would be a good starting point as well...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/signs-and-symptoms

Finally, I want to you know that you are not alone. The people here will support you if you want to talk it through, or try to go it alone, or work out what that next step might be. This is a non judgemental space, and I hope you will come back to tell more of your story.

Peace,

Tim