I cant handlle this anymore!!!!

Chloekat84 · ‎21-09-2014

Ive been havin some really bad days when it comes to anxiety attacks that have lasted a day. I am nauseated all the time so cant eat I don' t know what to do this is happening day after day and I cant handle it! Ive been to the hospital a couple monthes ago and know I cant go back as there is no1 to look after my daughter. Ive been dinosed with borderline personality disorder and dysthymia which is a type of depression but my depression has been really bad lately also. PLEASE just let this adrenaline feeling end!!! :'(

purelight · ‎21-09-2014

Dear Chloekat84, so sorry you havn"t been travelling very well of late. I have experienced anxiety attacks and they are not nice. As you know, I'm also a fellow depression sufferer. Have you had blood tests done to see if your thyroid is functioning ok?I've seen a nutritionist and have discovered that I am deficient in some minerals that could easy contribute to depression and anxiety. It wouldn't hurt to try alternative ways of healing like chinese medicine or nutritional therapy. I was pretty bad for over 3 months but for the past 3-4 weeks have seen a huge improvement in mood. Not sure what has helped. Probably a mixture of medication and minerals. I also regularly do mindfulness meditation and go for walks whenever I can. Will be thinking of you. Things will get better. x

white knight · ‎21-09-2014

Hi Chloekat,

I also have dysthymia and anxiety although for many reasons the anxiety has reduced over the years to near zero.

You explained it well (that adrenalin feeling". Horrible isnt it. So, what can you do. You can be persistent with the following-

1/ Relaxation techniques do work. Muscle contractions can be done even in bed before sleep time and it will help you sleep. Contract muscles one at a time for 15 seconds all over your body. Then at the end contract them all.

2/ Be realistic with your thoughts. Ask yourself if what you are thinking is realistic and not blown out of proportion.

3/ Dont fight your depression. I suggest you 'go with the flow'. You might be expecting too much of yourself. i.e. too much positive drive and you'll be disappointed at the outcome. Be positive when your mind can cope with it.

I have little knowledge of BPD. Hopefully someone here can help you there.

Take care

Sammy14 · ‎21-09-2014

Dearest Chloekat84,

I know exactly what you are feeling, it's a horrible feeling and it feels like a never-ending battle to feel normal and sustain the anxiety rush, but you really are not alone and it's definitely worth trying some things to help. I'm far from cured and right now I'm off the rails with anxiety and panic thus why I'm on here, but what has helped me before and will again are the following, limited or no caffeine (this is very important), eating well, diaphragm breathing, getting up really early and running - if I wear myself out and eat well it helps me get some calm and switch off the monkey mind if even temporarily. Herbs are fantastic as well, but for me the cheapest and most effective is the getting up early and running (cardio exercise is some form to exhaustion). Sending you a virtual hug, and keep us posted please on how you are going.

Chloekat84 · ‎22-09-2014

Well another day of similar symptoms. Im going to see a doc today cos some side effects of the new drug im taking can make anxiety worse at first ive been takin other stuff to help but its not. Im so nauseated I cant eat barely anything let alone cook a meal just the thought makes me wana be sick all ive eaten each day is maybe a muesli bar and even eating that is hard. Its soo hard looking after my daughter let alone myself. All I want is to feel normal again like I used to 4 monthes ago :'( I haven't been drinking any caffeine my tummy cant handle it. I keep hyperventilating and slow breathing exercises aren't working I just don' t know what to do anymore. I love my kids to bit but sumtimes at night I wish to go to sleep and not wake up again its soo hard every day. They did a blood test for thyroid etc and that normal and they did a head scan of my brain and thats normal so I don' t know where to turn to next. The best part of the day is at night when I eventually get to sleep but then my anxiety wakes me up every normal around 7am then I cant get back to sleep. I need help!

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Amelbourneboy · ‎22-09-2014

Hi Chloekat 🙂

wow, you have just discribed my last 4 days. its like pure hell on my body. I know all to well the feeling. about this exact time 2 years ago i suffered what was to me a complete breakdown. My anxiety hit such a high and at the time i had no idea what it was. I had this fear, this heart pounding, stomch churning life hating excistence i was now living. At the time i was totally againts AD, but did attend a psycologist. My worst days where spent crying in fear and agony. I finally started an AD, and the last 18 months have been pretty dam good. A few bad days here and there but other wise "normal".

Untill now. Now im exactly the same as i was. Different fear, different anxiety but the same torture inside. I havent eaten in 4 days, i feel constantly sick, my heart is constantly pounding I am also becoming more shacky, Im distant. The best feeling is knowing when i sleep im at peace, the worst is waking up, thise first few seconds wondering "is it here still?"

The only solice i get is knowing I am never alone, either are you chloekat 🙂

mtessa · ‎22-09-2014

Hello,

You are not alone. I know too well the symptoms. The last four days have been hell. Crying and panic attacks one after the others. It might be great to call the CAT team if you feel it. They are wonderful people and very understanding.

Chloekat84 · ‎22-09-2014

Hello mtessa but wats CAT? I called the mental health line yesterday

Chloekat84 · ‎22-09-2014

I feel exactly the same way u do Amelbourneboy. Every morning I wake up well b4 my daughter and wonder if today will be a different positive day. Everyone keeps telling me to keep staying positive but easier said than done. I do start the day thinkin positive but the anxiety starts before I even get out of bed in the early morning 😞 that's when I know straight away its gonna be another hell day. The only time of the day I look forward too is in the evening when I eventually pass out. I don't know why but I find it a whole lot easier to calm myself down in the evening once my daughter has gone to sleep. I feel bad about that but im very anxious when looking after her and shes seen me cry many times, I cant handle the tantrums etc. I know its normal for her age but I find it soo hard. Today started out not so well but I have spent the whole day around family members and I found that helped a lot just having that company and to occupy my mind with something else even if its just shortwhile. Im praying that 2moro will be a better day as I know I cant be around family every day as they have their own problems etc to deal with. Well that's it for now I guess.

Sammy14 · ‎22-09-2014

Oh you poor love, I'm so glad you reached out to someone - it's very hard to do that but such an important step. I'm with you on the side effects of trialling a new drug, I haven't found my right fit yet and often stop them after a few days as can't cope with the side effects, being anxious makes me feel anxious and paranoid about the effects of new drugs, and so far they have all made me feel worse. The diaphragm breathing isn't for everyone and does take a lot of practice. I understand about the sleep being the most peaceful time, it's good you kept yourself busy with seeing family, sometimes you just have to try and distract yourself in any moments you can. I hope the doctor and the phone call you made have helped you to come up with a 'feeling better' plan. Thinking of you, definitely take it one day at a time.