I can't handle my mind anymore!

[Whispa]

Hi, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice or coping methods on this? Il try keep my story brief (although might be hard given the way my mind is going!)

im a 27 year old mother of 1 boy. I've had a normal upbringing, no major dramas. I made some dumb decisions in the past, and like many others got caught up with a violent boyfriend. However I came out of that with my son, and my life is now what you would call as close to perfect as could be. Amazing son, amazing boyfriend, building our dream home, head above water financially at last, my horses, family etc... However!!!

my mind will not let me be happy! I am constantly nervous, heart racing, mood swings! I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, especially social anxiety, years ago but have always prided myself on a strong mind that could snap myself out of it, but now, it's making my life hell! I am obsessed with the news, and all the murders and home invasions etc, that I am 90% of the time terrified of it happening! I stay up til all hours at night just to 'keep alert' I jump at every noise, I check my son multiple times! It's starting to upset my very caring boyfriend as he thinks I'm avoiding him. I also hide away from socialising with anyone other than my mother as I can't handle the slightest criticism.

i can't achieve anything anymore! I use to be good at things, now I can't even organise myself to clean the house, I stuff up everything I try, I get nervous, clumsy, panicky, angry over the tiniest things! I absolutely hate myself, and every inch of my looks and body, and try on about 15 outfits to go anywhere. And so much more, all due to my mind will not shut up!

but most painful, I've lost my ability with my horses. I've ridden my whole life, now it seems every time I try to ride it all goes to hell, I know they feed off my emotion but it scares me as I feel I'm getting to a point I can't get myself back, and now I have this great horse and I can't seem to make things work. My horses have been my only consistent through every bad patch of life and I don't want to give them up, but my nasty mind is almost sending me down that path as I'm such a failure with them. 

I do not want medication, I don't feel that's the path for me at all, I just think I need some mind management teqniques until I can snap out of this 'patch" too. 

Any suggestions or help would be amazing 😞

[blondguy]

Good Morning Whispa

I can relate to your symptoms...all of them..These symptoms 'feeling' are awful..the social anxiety too

I will keep this is point form Whispa...These work for some and maybe not for others...

* Your mind is not nasty....its tired, the dreadful feelings you have are the sign of a tired and 'racing' mind

* This is the same as a physical injury...you cant 'snap out' having the flu...broken leg...infection...toothache

* Anxiety/Depression do release chemicals in the brain...physiological issue...the feelings are the end result

* Do you have a GP you are comfortable with Whispa? If you see her/him minimum every two weeks...

* GP's can be a huge help and venting would be great for you now

* the anxiety and depression do reduce in severity over time which is the good news..It takes time and effort tho

* If you can be kind to yourself...simplify your life and physically slow down....Think Slow Walk Slow Talk Slow

* Sleep...no ipads cellphones before bed..they only stimulate neural activity...they stimulate the mind...not good

*Sleep is an excellent healer and the building blocks to recovery

* Try to take your boyfriend to your GP with you..It will help him help you..

* Please avoid being 'busy' You can achieve the same results using half of the energy. Be 'kind' to yourself

I am sorry to hear about your horses too Whispa...Like these bad 'feelings' this is temporary...they will lessen over time with a regular visit to a GP or counselor. When I get jumpy...like being easily startled...I now understand that I am pushing myself way too hard and have to 'let go'...to slow down my system...

I do hope there might be something here you can use

I hope you can let us know how you are going Whispa

Be 'Kind' to yourself, you mind is still strong...just tired...like over revving an engine...pull back on the reigns..

Great start to healing by the way in having the courage to post

Paul

[Whispa]

Hi blondeguy,

Thanks so much for your reply.  It is an exhausting state of mind that's for sure as many know.

in response to your tips, I will definitely try to apply what I can and hope that it brings some relief. I do have a GP I find very good to talk to, unfortunately so does everyone else haha, so the wait to get in to him is rather long, and by the time my appointment rolls around I have got embarrassed and talk myself out of it. Il work on that again.

I spoke to my boyfriend about some of it earlier. He was great but it would take me all night to try get him to understand what I can't myself, but at least now he knows I'm not avoiding him at nights.

i attempted a social outing today, unfortunately came head on with my boyfriends brothers girlfriends, who individually I get along great with, but when they are together one gets very possessive of the other and I'm clearly reminded 3 is a crowd but that's more about her insecurities so proud to say I actually didn't have a meltdown over that 🙂 

I will try to take the pressure off myself somewhat, re establish some routine, and get a handle on things. And to accept what I can't change... There are sadly a lot of people in the world who hurt others, seemingly more and more often, but there is no sense letting that dictate my life, deal with whatever as it comes. 

Thanks for your response, best wishes to you and everyone on these forums having their own personal battles 👍🙂