I believe I have so much to give,but not living up to i!

[Chirchir]

Writing this ,has made me nervous already,I am already thinking how will everyone in the forum percieve my information,that's how bad things are at the moment.The fact that I have to live everyday of my life trying not to heart others can be really challenging.To be honest....how can you live your live being super nice to everyone?Ah ,it not realistic...,how can you feel your living your best life when your drunk? How can you live your life stressing how someone felt after a certain situation...?"people pleasing syndrom".seriously I spend three quarters of my life thinking than doing actual stuff.I can't remember when I last relaxed.I sleep at night but at the same time thinking.I even think on behalf of people and even solve their problems in my mind...The only things I focus on in a conversation is how I'm gonna be judged or stereotyped by others.people approval is one of my best source of motivation.I don't like to be told nice stuff coz I strive to do things trying to live to the expectation,I don't like to be told "that's the wrong way" either coz that's the end of where I was going.who wants to live such kind of a life?At Uni I know most answers but can't speak up and the feeling that everyone think I'm stupid is the only thing in my mind during class time.I have said so much lies unintentionally,I have embraced other people credits unintentionally,I have agreed to things without understanding the idea...The best words I like using is "yes, thanks,sorry".sincerely is this realistic?Smiling with no words is my way of building rapport with new people I meet....I look at other people talking and I think to my self....when is my day,really! Am I the only one.Let me cut off the story,............crying out loud......I need help

[BballJ]

Hi Chirchir,

Firstly, welcome to the forums. I want to stress that this is a judgement free zone and whatever you write and how you feel will not be judged as we are just here to talk to you and offer advice and compassion, most of us all suffer from a mental health issue so just using past experiences to offer advice.

I understand you feel like you have to please everyone and sort of live up to their expectation which can be so hard and you seem to say things that will please the other person rather than yourself? Forgive me if what I am is saying is wrong that is just how I read your thread.

My first question is have you ever considered speak to your GP and or a psychologist as it seems you have a lot of things going through your mind at any given point and sometimes speaking to a professional can really help sort through those thought processes and help you better understand why you do the things you do?

My best for you,

Jay

[Mr_Walker]

Hi Chirchir - you could be describing me exactly! Though I think I'm getting better at it now (I'm guessing I'm a bit older than you if you're at Uni) I still struggle with trying to keep everyone happy. And with going over past conversations worrying if I could have accidentally offended or angered anyone - and with agreeing to things to please people, donating to every charity that rings me up when I can't afford it.. etc. etc!

I agree with Jay - seeing a professional is really the best thing you can do - it's very easy these days to get a referral to a psychologist - they can teach you techniques to relax and change those unhelpful thought patterns that make you feel that way...

They can also help you to try to understand how you got into those thought patterns in the first place - for me it was an angry, violent and very critical father who was never happy with anything I did and made me terrified that I'd say or do something to anger random strangers! - I still have trouble saying "no" and sticking up for myself but because I'm aware of it, it's much easier to deal with...

You'll find, the more you talk about it (both here and in real life if you feel safe to do so) the more people you'll find who experience the same thing!

Welcome to the forums - I'm new here myself (3 days!) but it's a great, supportive, helpful place!