I am very lost

[Christie123]

I am starting Uni this year in a degree I don’t want to do.I am lying to myself because I need to do something. I need to be able to give a good answer when they ask me what I am want to do now. I have no idea what I want to do so I am just doing this to give them an answer. I look over the course work and cry, I drive past the campus and I feel sick because I know how much rides on this. I can’t just not do anything, that would make me more pathetic than I am right now.

I have been looking for a job for the last 7 months and I’ve sent out and given hundreds of resumes but still no callbacks. I gotten rejected so many times and re did my resume so many times and get nothing sticks. I even went and did a course to make myself seem more employable and no luck. I got called for two interviews Yesterday, woke up with a burning fever but smashed a couple panadols and went to it. Thought I did well in the first one but didn’t get it and I read the wrong time for the second one so I missed it entirely. I read 5:30 what it actually said was 3:45. Why am I such an idiot?😂

I don’t have any skills, or interesting things about me that make me employable or just enjoyable to be around. I worked at a shitty job for 2 years getting underpaid and I was fired. I just got out of high school and it seems like everyone has their life together and mine if just yuck. It’s a bit dramatic but U need to let this out.

I know if I tell my parents they’ll either turn it in me and make me feel like shit or get weird. If I tell my friends they’ll make fun of me and I usually I’d want to laugh but I don’t know how to tell them that this isn’t something I want to laugh about. I see my sister being isolated and I try to stand up for her but there is only so much I can do.

I’m just lost . I don’t know who I am. I am good at nothing, I am not charasmatic, creative or good with people. I’m not smart or strong I’m just going with the flow until it blows up in my face.

I hate it

[The_Pen]

Hello, I read your post and it could have been me writing it 25 years ago. I went down a whole road of doing a career that I thought would make my parents proud...and maybe it did, but it was a struggle for me as it wasn't my natural talent. You speak alot about your parents, im probably their age or your friends. I think the person who you really should try to make happy is you. There's a long road ahead and you need to chose how to best fill it with what you feel you can give to the community by way of occupation, and people who support you and bring opportunities your way. Can you take a year out to think what you really want to do, maybe get some work experience and really ask yourself what would you like to help your community to achieve ? Maybe you'd be a great physiotherapist, teacher, nurse, town planner, social worker , tax advisor. What do you want to spend 8 hours a day doing. You know a friend of mine had a hobby doing up old campers, it became his business ..and he used to tell me , every day is like Sunday, I get up and work on what I love. You've a long life ahead, and the only person living it is you...so chose what you enjoy and trust me , when your parents find you successful and happy at it, they will be happy too.

[ecomama]

Hey Christie123 (and a wave to Pen)

Welcome to you both.

Christie you talk so much about what everyone else will think about you, about everyone else in general.

What about what YOU think?

Your choice of career is NOT about what anyone else thinks, surely!

I know this seems empowered talk, maybe it is lol.

I've worked in a career I LOVE for 40 years.
I've done it voluntarily when I was raising my kids, I love it so much.
I chose this sector AGAINST my parent's wishes and against everyone's "opinion" of what I "should" do, heck if I'd followed all their misguided advice I'd be just as miserable as them!

I was even told I didn't have the intelligence to succeed till Year 10 lol. I've completed 3 degrees in the field I love AND was paid fulltime wages to complete the last 2.

You've only JUST left school.
Absolutely NO, not everyone your age has got it all together lol.
Not everyone MY age has got it all together! Heck no lol.

It's not about other people Christie.

This time is about YOU.

You know what makes you sparkle... follow that. Then when the impulse is there to follow this, listen and follow. Act upon it.

Intuition is powerful. It's also greatly underestimated as a FORCE in our lives.

You DO have choices. You could attend Uni for a Semester (but I wouldn't lol) and look around at what else makes you feel good.

Find this out and you'll be surprised at the OPPORTUNITIES you see.

LIVE THEM.

Love EM