How to stop being affected by anxious people

[Alel]

I live with a mum that's always anxious. She always says her anxious and intrusive thoughts out loud. Which, as a child, caused me to think the same way. 

I now have severe anxiety and depression. As well as agoraphobia and emetophobia from watching my mum freak out everytime she was nauseous or going out.

I am working on overcoming these thoughts, but my mum just makes things worse as well. 

My mum wouldn't leave me alone even as a grown teen because my mum always says "what if smth happens". The times where I was left alone at home (because my family went next door to my relatives), I had panic attacks (that at the time I didn't know were panic attacks).

Now I don't know what to do. I'm taking antidepressants and I'm working on my anxiety and depression.

But I feel like my mindset is so ruined that I never feel better even tho there is evidence that I am doing better (like now I can go bathroom alone without being afraid or make my own food or eat without feeling sick or sleeping without thinking in going to die)

I just don't feel better and my brain still feels the same as before.

Wasn't what I went through supposed to mean smth?

Wasn't it supposed to make me stronger and give me a new life?

I want to go out by myself and have fun. 

I want to see people without panicking.

I want to do my daily tasks without getting burnt out or overwhelmed so fucking easily.

I want someone to tell me that there is a better life for me, so I can know I'm not wasting my time trying. 

[Croix]

Dear Alel~

Having all those thoughts and fears gives you a horrible life, and the fact that you mum is there and behaves as she does is not a good thing.

Still you are seeking medical help, which I found was the only way my anxiety and depression could get better. I too take medication and have therapy.

If I had been asked at the time if it was possible to be at the recovery point I'm at now I'd have said it was simply impossible, and htat I was hopeless.  Actually now I'm in a pretty good place. I can do things and gain satisfaction, love and be loved, and deal with most matters - I enjoy life!

I suspect that like me at the start of getting medical help for quite a long time, I could not feel any improvement inside myself, though others were starting to remark my behavior was changing - they were on the outside , not influenced by depression and anxiety, and could see with more perspective than I had then.

As your mum is not helping your improvement do you have to live at home, or is there somewhere or somone else you could live with?

I suspect your mind is not ruined any more than mine is, things heal. It takes time and the correct treatment and circumstances, and I would hope you will end up as I am

Croix

[sallySurvivor]

I’m so sorry you were exposed to this so young. I am constantly worried about my kids seeing my issues and will hide most of it but i know they must be affected in some ways. 

The main message i do try to relay to them is that there are strategies that i know can help improve the situation. It takes time and perseverance but i have experienced improvement. I am still working on other issues but one step at a time life is improving.

Sometimes discussing strategies with people can help also. I am new to this discussion forum but i believe there are threads discussing self care and therapies that may help us.

[Croix]

Dear SallySurvivor~

I think there is a big difference between your relationship wiht you mum, where reading your posts it looks like she was not able to look after your welfare - so you have all these symptoms as a result, and how you look after your kids.

Thinking  how they will react to what they see, and explaining matters,  is a real expression of love and I'm sure does you all good.

You were asking about strategies you can use. there is a very long thread I've found a lot of good ideas in:

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/self-help-tips-for-managing-anxiety/m-p/50482#M7636

I admit it is too long in some ways and that means people do tend ot repeat the same things over and over, however just skimming through from time to time is pretty good

Then our own 24 hour help line (1300 224 636) can be pretty helpful too

Croix