How to manage anxiety when none of the techniques work

[Yui_Nakano]

Hey everyone,

I've been dealing with anxiety and depression most of my life but due to recent changes its getting so much worse. I've been trying the tactics taught in Mycompass and breathing but none of them seem to help. when I'm alone or with my parents I get a creeping anxiety that doesn't stop building and I start feeling a crushing loneliness and feelings I'm not wanted, the only way to stop it is to talk to friends but their often busy and are so so far away from me. I've been fighting my flight response since I know if I run I'm not going to survive but living like this everyday is killing me. I'm booked to see a psych this Saturday but it feels so far away and I don't know how long I can deal with these feelings. I just want to feel loved I don't want to feel isolated and alone anymore.

[jenijenjen]

I can relate to what you are going through. That feeling of isolation is so overwhelming. Stay with this forum because it's a safe place for you to talk through your feelings and get support. I also find art is a great help, even those adult colouring in books. 

[Mark Z.]

Hi Yui_Nakano,

Welcome to the forum.

I can tell that it's really frustrating. You've made very wise decision to see a psych, when you feel it's hard to deal with the anxiety by yourself. Before that, if you need someone to talk, you can feel free to share your stories here, we're ready to listen and share our experience. You can also have a look at other posts if you want, maybe you'll get some inspiration. 

Meanwhile, you can give Beyondblue hotline a call, they're 24/7, you'll get some professional advice, I'm pretty sure it'll be helpful.

Hope everything will be better.

Mark

[smallwolf]

Hello.

That can be sooo frustrating what you describe. To some extent we have to work out what works for us. But I will also tell you what worked for me.

1. I would spend hours on an app to get over -ve thoughts.

2. my way around that was to play with something physical. For me, that was prayer beads, as that was the easiest thing to get my hands on.

3. which then leads to mindful eating. Again, and for me, it was doing something physical.

There is also a book called "the happiness trap" that has a number of suggestions that might be helpful? You should be able to find it at your local library. 

And remember ... making it through the day is OK. 

Listening.

[geoff]

Hello Yui_Nakano, before you see your psych, try and write down, in point form, because if you write a letter the main points may get lost in the transition, such as, what is said to you and then how do you feel, what situations are a trigger to cause any of this and what can cause your anxiety/depression to become worse and how you try to deal with it.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[jaz28]

Hi there.

I am sorry you are feeling like this. Anxiety is so hard, I see you. Do you live with your parents? Is there somewhere you can go when you feel this way (e.g. away from them)? Have you spoken to them about how you feel? Do you KNOW that they don't want you (e.g. have they said that)? Or do you think it is just anxiety talking?

It can be difficult to discern reality from anxious thoughts, they take over. This is why it is important to seek professional help to learn tactics of how to do this. I think you should hold on to your psych appointment! Seeing one changed my life, and I have recovered from my anxiety now. It can take a while, though, DO NOT expect to be magically cured after one session - you will need to keep going. But it will HELP YOU. Please hang on, we at BB want you here and I am sure your friends do too. Are you able to call or facetime your friends when you cannot see them?

I really hope things improve and please reach out again if you need,

Jaz xx

[Petal22]

Hi Yui Nakano,

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand you just want to feel loved, but do you know what… you are loved more than you will ever know.

Please give yourself self love tell yourself that you love yourself the more love you can give to yourself the more love that you can give others.

Self love is amazing it will fill you from the inside…….. sometimes we look for love outside of ourselves but it’s really within us and we need to feed it.

Im sorry you are feeling the way you do around your parents but it could be the anxiety taking… try to flick the switch in that moment and tell yourself how much you love you and how much your parents love you.

I understand that talking to friends helps sometimes when we can just move our attention onto something else in the present moment like talking to our friends it takes our attention off the anxiety.

I suggest the next time you are feeling the anxiety and anxious thoughts re direct your attention onto something more positive in the present moment… it takes practice because the mind wants to go back to the anxious thoughts keep re directing it.

” We make life hard by always being in our head.”

“ Life is simple , we just need to move out of our head and into the present moment “.

( This takes practice) but it can be accomplished.

That’s great you have a psych appointment, feel free to let us know how you go.

Things will get better just hang in there.

[Willow Jude]

Hi Yui_Nakano,

I can hear how tough this is for you, and you’ve made a great step in reaching out on the forums to express how you’re feeling. 

I can definitely relate to your experience - I have anxiety and depression and spent a significant length of time feeling like the strategies I was being given were not helpful, and it was a very frustrating situation. I too find that sometimes talking to friends feels like the only thing that will help, but, like you, know it isn’t always realistic.  

I began seeing improvements when I started seeing a new psychologist and they actually listened when I explained that the strategies and approaches used for/by me in the past weren’t working no matter how hard I tried. So, if it’s possible, I would encourage you to be open with your new psych about what you’ve been trying, how it feels, whether anything changes, etc., and really advocate for yourself. They will hopefully then be able to work with you to find things that are helpful. Like jaz28 has said, be aware that it may take some time, but seeing a psych can be so beneficial if you’re able to work at it. And if after some time you find the psych’s approach isn’t a great fit for you, you can explore others psychs, as I’m sure there would be someone who is a great fit - it doesn’t mean you’re never going to find something that works for you! 

In terms of specific strategies, something that ended up being useful for me was journaling, as it gave me a way to express my thoughts and feel ‘heard’ when there wasn’t an opportunity to do this with another person. You may also find it beneficial to interact with members on the Forums to help support some feelings of connection.

I hope your appointment goes well, and feel free to keep us updated.

-WJ