How much do I tell my family?

[Twig]

I have been dealing with social anxiety for as long as I can remember, but I am finding it harder and harder to hide it. Oddly, I am fine around strangers, but it is my extended family and close friends which cause my symptoms. I avoid contact with my family and the threat of an unavoidable get together can cause a panic attack. 

My husband is really trying to be supportive, but he is getting pretty tired of making excuses for me and gets pretty frustrated with my 'I just can't' reasoning. This is making me pull back from him and feel like I am burdening him with my problem. 

Similarly my two sister in laws ask me for coffee but I fob them off.

So my question is, how much can I involve my family in my journey with anxiety without burdening them, or alienating them? And how can I get across just how much I want to see them but that my body just physically won't let it happen.

[JessF]

Hello Twig, I have been in this same situation as a long time anxiety sufferer.  I have driven to visit my parents only to drive right past and home when I have seen other cars outside knowing that other members of my family are there. I have even avoided Christmases.  I think it is important that you look at doing some counselling, as I discovered that the reason my family was triggering me was not random, there were things happening, little unconscious thoughts that I didn't even realise that were turning these gatherings into a phobia.  I'm not saying this will be exactly the same for you, but it is worth at least considering because you mention that you don't get the same reaction about strangers.

As for burdening your husband or family, I think that things are slowly changing. More and more peop[le understand about depression now, and anxiety / panic attacks are starting to go that way too. Going to see your doctor and talking about your symptoms will help, because then you can explain to your husband that this is a real thing you are experiencing and not you just being difficult.  Does this make sense>?