Horrible week

[Whatsinaname]

Hi everyone,

I'm having a horrible week, so just thought I would post to see how everyone else is going?

I'm having a hard time getting out of the shame spiral this week, but trying to remember this is only temporary.

Anyway, hope others are well, happy to chat about anything.

[Whatsinaname]

My mind has dared to dream a little over the last day or two, in a positive way rather than negative, which might be a good sign that the tunnel is coming closer to an end.

I found myself planning a holiday last night. Was all in my head, once I started googling places I became a bit anxious about it so didn't want to push my luck 😂

A small step but at least its in the right direction, which is a welcome change!

[Annas1]

That's fabulous! Feeling great for you W 😊

Holidays are something I like to think/dream about too. I'm getting better at being realistic and not expecting to have a 100% wow of a time, as well as making room for 'bad hair' days. It's part of learning to "do things badly" as a gem of advice I have picked up. We need to fumble a few times before we gain confidence. And I'm also learning it's ok to be anxious on holiday. Again, a pressure-release valve.

Dream on 🌴

[Whatsinaname]

Holidays are an interesting one aren't they. I love to plan then and dream about them, then when it comes to the holiday my anxiety really kicks it up a gear to try and ruin it 😂

How are you going?

[Annas1]

That's my experience too. I'm prone to overthink things and find myself locked in a set of expectations about how things have to be. And of course, things rarely work out perfectly so I have had a habit of setting myself up to fail.

And so my approach is shifting toward making the overall holiday plan doable and giving myself as much flexibility as I need within it. I have had reasonable success recently with this combination of planning and mindset. It also helps to have your companions on board with your needs and preferences.

[Whatsinaname]

I'm really good at knowing I will be anxious so even the idea of booking holidays makes me anxious 😂

I really know how silly that sounds, but my biggest trigger is anxiety itself. 

We all know avoidance isn't great, so I will be booking a weekend away soon.

[Whatsinaname]

The forum seems very quiet today, so thought I would take this opportunity to get some stuff out of my head.

I do feel like I am on the other side of my down patch. Mornings are still tough and I find it hard to concentrate at work, but I am one of the lucky ones that most of the emotions subside by night time and I can find a moment to relax. I've been in a place of not being able to sleep, due to my anxiety, but that isn't the case this time so I take solace in that.

I still find my self kind of grieving moments that I am currently in rather than enjoying them. Not entirely sure why, but I think it is just an emotion I need to learn to live with.

Now that I am here typing my mind is going blank about what I wanted to talk about, so I will leave it there for now but may come back later.

[Whatsinaname]

Hi again,

All things said I am doing better than I was, but I am still struggling. Kind of living in a fog of sorts. It is exhausting because like this.

I think regularly of coming here to post, but I know these posts get lost amongst all the other posts. 

Heres to another day tomorrow!

[Whatsinaname]

Dear diary,

I found myself nearly crying when out to dinner with my family. It was a great dinner and they were all really happy and I was just overcome with sadness.

It's strange that some days I feel like I am living my best days but don't enjoy them and mourn them instead.

Till next time...

[Happylife]

Hello Whatsinaname,

Hope you are feeling better today. I am really sorry to hear about your challenges.

Sadness is a very common human emotion and it's completely fine to feel that way as long as it doesn't affect your day-to-day activities and take over your life. Sometimes when everything seems find around us, we can still feel very down and lonely, sometimes sadness can be a deep internal conflict between your own personal standards and values and the way you are living your life. 

Glad to hear you have a very loving and supportive family and you are seeking professional help.

If you don't mind me asking, do you feel sad all the time or is it at particular occasions? And do you think there are any unresolved issues, as this can linger in the background and play with your emotions?

Looks like you are a good person who is genuinely anxious and worried about your family and you don't want anything to change or affect this. This is also very common for people who overthink and have OCD (me included😊) I tend to overthink especially when it comes to my family that no harm should come to them.

Try to go on nature walks even if it is in your own backyard or your local parks, they are very beneficial and good exercise too.

Would be great to hear how you are going if you feel like sharing. Please remember this is temporary and you are not alone, happy to listen and support...

Take care

Happylife

[Whatsinaname]

Hi Happylife,

Thanks so much for reaching out.

Somedays I seem to just have this feeling, I think it is sadness, that is always there. Sometimes I think it might be just stress and overwhelm, so I am not entirely sure. It is more or less always there.

We had slightly better weather over the weekend so was able to get the kids on their bikes and to the park, it felt good to see them running around happily.

Maybe it's just the weather...