Holiday panic.attack. fly drive or not go?

Beyondbe · ‎12-12-2016

Hi all,

My main panic attack trigger if feeling trapped and not being able to escape the situation if needed to I struggle with pretty much all transport.

My partners family are going to QLD in jan for a couple of weeks. Some people are flying and in laws are driving. it's melb to qld.

Would like to go but transport is my main panic attack trigger and not sure I'll cope with the plane or long car trip. I'm worried I'll panic and feel out of control/cause a scene.. and then there's the fact that if I get there I still have to travel home again.

I'm usually fine in the car when it's only my partner and myself and I don't feel trapped as I know we could pull over or turn around and go home if we wanted to.

If we were to drive it would be in the inlaws car as everyone could share driving and petrol costs etc and our cars not super reliable anyway but I don't want to ruin or negatively effect there holiday by panicking on the way and needing toto pull over etc.

We are considering not going but what would you do? any advice?

white knight · ‎12-12-2016

Hi beyond be, welcome

Yes I have my opinion.

Firstly - guilt!!. Address it.

Never feel guilty for any medical condition that could place you at risk of poorer health.

Also, make certain your partner knows you won't restrict him in going without you.

My wife and I are retired. We are also free to make individual decisions to attend functions. We both have depressive illness and I have bipolar 2. Its one of the secrets if our collective happiness.

If I'm alone I visit old school friends and vintage car shows etc.

Absence dies make the heart grow fonder.

One last thing. Can you tell others you intend to leave s few days earlier to visit friends thereby resulting in travelling in your own car?

Otherwise stay home. I used to try to please others...feel obligated. Then I realised "I'm not in this world to live up to others expectations"...

Tony WK

Beyondbe · ‎13-12-2016

Thanks for the response. Will look into own car situation. yes partner may go without me but it wouldseems be a shame toto miss out. not just cause I feel guilty but because I would like toto go even though I would be out of my comfort zone

blondguy · ‎13-12-2016

Hi Beyondbe

Thanks for having the courage to post!

I felt like I was reading my own 'travel anxiety issues' when I read yours....exactly the same..

TonyWK really has the knowledge here. If you had a physical injury that prevented you from traveling you wouldnt think twice about not going.

Ive had and have been trying to 'go' to various functions/events for years and eventually it 'clicked that I was unwell'Its like wearing invisible crutches that we cant (and dont want to see)

Even though I refuse to fly (after years of anxiety) I would do everything I could to drive with a partner to ensure the most comfortable (and healthy) option available.....This is my own limit nowadays.

I can drive with one person in a car....anymore than that my health comes first

There are many kind people here that suffer from wearing crutches that others cant see....you are more than welcome to post back as many times as you wish, even just for a chat

be gentle to yourself

kind thoughts

Paul

pipsy · ‎13-12-2016

Hi Beyondbe. I'm actually with Tony WK on this issue. I used to enjoy flying, but a ruptured ear drum has kind of put paid to that. I would feel happier driving at my own pace in my own car. Another option would be leave earlier to go to Qld, take your time. Stay in Qld for a couple of days (depending on you), discuss this with your partner first so you're both on the same page. Perhaps you could tell your in-laws you need to stop often due to car sickness. Many people suffer this, both adults and children. In-laws may offer anti-car sick medication, politely decline saying they make you worse. Tell your in-laws, the only thing that helps is frequent stopping. Panic attacks often do make people feel nauseas so you wouldn't be actually lying.

Lynda

Traveller73 · ‎17-12-2016

I have had travel anxiety too. Mindfulness (The happiness trap book) worked for me. I would suggest you go on holiday but have strategies in place to do things i.e deep breathing,relaxation tapes, mindfulness tricks.From my own experience i know with irrational fears that cog behav therapy dioesnt work-you need distractions and mindfulness. If you avoid this trip, you will avoid future trips and its a downward spiral from there. Don't avoidi, find some strategies for you.

Life is for living

blondguy · ‎17-12-2016

(Excuse I for hijacking your thread Beyondbe)

Traveller73, Great positive thread...If you have any tips to share about travel anxiety and you feel like starting your own thread there would be many people like myself that could benefit from it...I am still learning....my first ground zero mega anxiety attack was in 1983 when I was 23....

The cognitive behavioral therapy works to a point but besides the word 'Mindfulness' can you elaborate with any examples that can help people that are reading this thread (or if you wish to create a new one) ?

my kindest

Paul

Traveller73 · ‎18-12-2016

Thanks. I definately recommed the book 'The happiness trap', read it. It has alot about mindfulness and living with anxiety. This book helps as rather then just 'getting rid of anxiety' (impossible), you learn to recognise and accept it, oh thats just anxiety again and tune out of that and tune into what currently doing.Then as a by product, anxiety reduces as not paying attention.Sorry if not making sense-read the book! Travel anxiety I dealt with with relaxatin tapes, going for regular walks and counting 5 things see, 5 things hear, 5 things feel and 5 things smell. Find time to do nice tranquil things every day-something I had forgotten to do. Also colouring books help, pottering in the garden and I practice tai chi (at home, dvd). I try and fully appreciate the moment. Funnily enough I had travel anxiety for about 6 months before big trip. The week before I became 'calm' and on the day, nervous. I think this is because you are then in the 'present' and anxiety works on the future. Also deep breathing helped immensely and I would be practicing tai chi warm up exercises in airports to destress. Please read the book The Happiness Trap, if suffertravel anxiety. It helped immensely. Nervous thoughts are really just thoughts....Also there is a quote that you prevail over anxiety by not giving it attention. Hope that helps. Good luck!

Traveller73 · ‎18-12-2016

Just thought of some other mindfulness things- i practice the ukelele. You can't be anxious and concentrate on chords at the same time. Music helps. I am self taught and don't have a good singing voice so I play for me. In todays newspaper there are some scientific studies some songs reduce anxiety by as much as 68%. Not sure if that really works, one of the songs is Coldplays 'Strawberry Swing'.I listened to it this morning and it didn't have any noticeable difference. Maybe its just the act of listening and concentrating on something else?

Also, on plane flights these days, I don't bother with reading material. I immerse myself in movies -sight and sound. Famuliar fun movies seen many times. Last trip I watched all the Star Wars movies. Distracting...