Help, I'm over feeling like this

[jakyl]

I have shocking depression/anxiety, and there is no reason why, as my business life is starting to become successful.  I have had this thing for about 13 or 14 years now, but it is so erratic like super highs to super lows in seconds.  In my school days I was kind of popular but now I am hated equally by everyone (except for my wife, she is gold) I am so scared of speaking on the phone, and I used to have good phone skills (10-12 years ago).  I walk in to a room and I feel like everyone starts talking about me (am I schizophrenic?) and meeting new people, just forget about it! when I go to a supermarket for example as soon as I say hello their facial expression just drops.  Even people that I have known for 15 years, I feel very uncomfortable around them, and don't say much because my voice quivers I am that nervous, it shows and then they hang serious crap on me and I'm just over it.  I have gone to the doc and been prescribed an antidepressant a couple of times and a serotonin thing once,but neither worked for longer than a day or 2 (placebo effect maybe?) and the doc's just blow me off every time and make me feel like I'm making stuff up (as I feel comfortable with a doctor for some reason, and don't show symptoms there for some reason???? I don't even go very often like 3 times in the last 5 years) I took a lot of xtc and smoked a lot of weed not so long ago, but clean now and still feel like crap.  Anyone had something similar and can help out with anything, I mean anything I'm desperate! Cheers

[maggiejane]

Hi jakyl. I can relate to several things you talk about. I avoid phone calls as much as possible and just say Im really not a phone person!  Meeting new people can be tough and sometimes I even feel anxious around friends too. My anxiety comes and goes depending on the situation and is often related to social situations and yes sometimes I think I may have some illness like bipolar or schizophrenia or something because i know my thoughts are so irrational! I also have a very supportive husband which does help a lot. I also found that once I was in the doctors office, it was hard to describe the way I felt as I was okay at that time. You could try writing down your feelings/symptoms when you are having one of those moments to tell the doctor before you go,  and maybe try some different doctors until you find someone that gets it. I have been off medication for 3 years and and trying to stay off them. But everyone is different and some people just need it to take the edge off. It did work for me for a while but it does take some time to kick in properly. Sometimes weeks. Without medication can make it harder to kick, but there are other tried and true ways to curb your anxiety. I still think about going back on them sometimes but try and refrain. I know it seems simple but have you tried meditation, yoga, excercise or dietary changes? These things can definately make things a little more manageable. And making sure you get enough sleep. I find that when I am sleep deprived it is worse.  🙂 🙂