Hearing someone but not understanding them/Always having to ask people to repeat themselves

[44Max44]

This is a problem I've had for a while now.

I have pretty bad social anxiety so a lot of the time my mind is racing when talking about someone so what they say goes in one ear and out the other. I hear what they're saying but I just don't understand them. I always have to ask people to repeat themselves which sucks because it makes it seem like I'm not paying attention to them when I am and makes me come off as rude. It's gotten to a point where a lot of the time I just pretend to hear what they say and nod or something and hope that's the right response.

I'm not sure if this is because of a physical or mental problem. On one hand I did injure my ear drum in one ear as a kid, so I could possibly be slightly deaf in that ear. But on the other hand I also suspect I have ADHD so maybe that's causing it.

Does anyone else experience this? Do you have any tips?

Thank you

[quirkywords]

Max

Thanks fir sharing this problem which I feel many reading your post will relate to for different reasons.

I do concentrate when lis tensing but my short term memory may as I get older is pretty poor so I ask people to repeat or I ask for clarification.
if there is background noise I find it hard and a few people talking at once is confusing.

have you thought of getting your hearing tested.? At least if it isn’t hearing you could ru,e that out.
I often ask people questions to help me remember but some see that as interrupting.

If you are chatting to people you know could you be honest and say you are listening but have trouble hearing listening and understanding so you may need for them to repeat what they have said.

Would you consider seeing a GP and telling them your concerns.

I know how frustrating it can be. I a,so notice sone people I talk to often ask me to repeat what I have said.

quirky

[white knight]

Hi 44

Firstly, I suspected I had ADHD in 2003. Diagnosed with it I took subsequent meds for 6 years before another psych squashed that to bipolar. It seemed that my mania from bipolar mimicked adhd. Hence, nothing beats a proper diagnosis. As Quirky eluded, a GP visit is a start.

In terms of you not grasping others talk, you might try mnemonics. It's a process of aiding the memory. Pronounced "nemonics".

To use mnemonics you can pick key words out from the conversation. E.g. he talks about a driving trip. Pick out a couple of words like holiday, Albury, girlfriend and so on.
This process is not unlike speed reading whereby you ignore the words- it, so, to, am...etc

A GP could help identify things like lack of focus (an ADHD symptom) and reefer you to a specialist.

I hope that gives you direction.

TonyWK

[Booots]

I am so terrible with this ,

lately when people are talking to me ( even my therapist ) I am nodding and agreeing but not listening to word they are saying ......

sometimes I will repeat back to person just what they said as if it was my idea and then I will realise I’m just peering what they said ...

so subconsciously I am hearing them but I’m not listening , I’m thinking about 100 other things

it’s not adhd or something like that for me it’s more to do with social anxiety and being hyper vigilante

I am more focused on what’s going on around me and what the people talking to me are really thinking about me ......

it’s terrible , embarrassing and makes me avoid people more which exasperates the problem ....Seriously interferes with every aspect of my life and am interested how others handle this