Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

[Health_Anxious_Mummy]

Hi , first time here

as you’ve probably already guessed I suffer with health anxiety it all started 6yrs ago with a major panic Attack which required an ambulance and a stay in hospital as I really thought I was dying and new nothing about what a panic Attack was until that day , fast forward to now & cut a long story short I was diagnosed with a thyroid issue have been on medication now for a few years and it seems to be ok but it can sometimes play up which can increase my anxiety pretty bad when my levels are out I’m also on medication to try and combat the anxiety but sometimes when I’m really worried and anxious it doesn’t do a great deal . Like at the moment , about 6 weeks ago I was out with my husband and 2 year old and we were in a shop and I was literally fine talking away not thinking of a thing and then out of no where I got a very severe pain in the side of my head so bad I felt a bit sick and had to sit down it didn’t last long maybe 1min if that and it was gone had a couple of twinges later in the afternoon but nothing more after that and I have never experienced anything like it before as you can imagine for someone with health anxiety this has now caused me to think I have a brain tumour I thought not much more about after it happened and thought I was ok but last week I had a similar thing just not painful when I was driving my son to swimming I started to feel strange in my head and really foggy and kept zoning out and really struggled to sit through his lesson because I felt like something awful was about to happen , so now since last Tuesday I’m in a completely full blown anxious state and fearing the worst that I have a brain tumor as I have a sore neck and continue to have sharp pains on my head I don’t have headaches but I do feel off balance and really feel like I’m lacking concentration and my memory is shocking and getting stuck on words this is really worrying me I’m in such a state I do have an appointment with my doctor on Friday. I wish so MUCH I could just be normal and be like oh well whatever like when my husband has anything wrong he just doesn’t even think twice about it I wish so much I could feel the same but I just continue to go in a vicious cycle last month was esophageal cancer because I have reflux before that I was convinced it was my heart because my reflux was playing up I literally have had every test possible apart from a brain scan and all are always fine aside from my thyroid and low iron .

[Guest_2496]

Hi Ash

Thanks for letting me know - I was thinking of you today. Some good things - kidneys ok, that blood test done (and I think you’ll get the results soon) AND ‘she’s not worried’. Repeat that anytime you need for the next week:-)

The stomach /bowel contraction or spasm that you feel is an anxiety symptom so remind yourself that too. Do you have a bath? I’m probably repeating myself but a radox, or Epsom salt bath can be a self care tool.

Mans lastly I totally understand you feeling depressed but just try varying things a bit? When you feel like heading to bed get a cup of tea or soup and curl up on the couch instead? Do you read, or listen to talks/meditations on YouTube for distraction? Knit? If you’re on Facebook check out Petrea King’s Meditation Group - I think she’s wonderful xx

[Ash81]

Hi Annie,

hope you’re doing ok? I’ve done my operation to remove my cyst and it was a success. The ca125 result came back and it was negative thank god! The dr told me after surgery that it looked like an unfertilised egg not a dermoid cyst! I said I wouldn’t have done it if that was the case it’s so painful the aftermath of the operation! I have to go tomorrow to take out my stitches.. so glad i can put this chapter behind me! I stopped my antidepressant; I just kept reading stories of how people get affected by one then have to go on a stronger dose and didn’t want that to be me! I’m determined to fight this health anxiety! I purchased CBD oil and am going to start to take that and just cut out all junk food. I really need to start going on walks and the like too.. fresh air and nature is free and I don’t use it very much!

I just keep getting dizzy and it’s not my blood pressure so I don’t know what that is.. my mind wants me to think it’s some life threatening disease and I’m trying not to succumb to it!!

[Guest_2496]

Hi Ash

I was so happy to read this - both about the op results and your fabulous attitude towards healing.

Wish we could walk together! as I need to do the things you mentioned too - eat better and exercise (hmm I don’t do them though!)

Hope getting the stitches out was ok and you can put it all behind you now. Let me know how the cbd oil goes.

Re dizziness - could it be dehydration? Overbreathing? Or just another annoying anxiety symptom. Remember Dr Harry Barry says ‘the symptoms of anxiety are annoying but not dangerous’ xx

[Ash81]

Hi Annie,

I hope you end up reading this! I hope you’re doing well.. I don’t know what wrong with me; I’m always fearful and scared and I’m sick of it; it’s exhausting.. my poor husband and kids. Now I have and itchy anus again (sorry tmi) I know I did stool test to look for blood and it came back negative back in March. Dr checked today and gave me a fungal cream for the itchiness then said to go back next week so he can check with a scope inside to check for haemorrhoids. There is no blood in my stool which is good he said. I’m so scared of going back and him checking for a haemorrhoid what if that haemorrhoid is cancer just what if?! I’m back in my bed and crying always from fear.

[Guest_2496]

Hi Ash

I hope that by the time you read this the cream has soothed and you’re feeling a lot calmer?

I know you don’t like to google and that’s Good but I have done it for you to reassure you. What I found (on reputable medical sites) is that haemorrhoids don’t become cancerous, and also that bowel or rectal cancer does not cause an itch. I hope that reassures you and makes it easier to go for the follow up with the dr.

Just recently I bought some wipes that are medicated (probably same as the cream you got) - you could try those.

Move had a few things lately that sparked anxiety but right now I have the flu with very high temperature so just resting and trying to get well again.

Let me know how things go xx

[Ash81]

Hi Annie,

its so wonderful to hear from you though I’m so sorry you’re sick! The flu is the worst! Have you had a flu shot? In Melbourne the weather is horrible; with September coming dr has told me the flu will hit again with a vengeance! Something I tried and a lot of other people have and it helped is FireTonic... it has a lot of things in there to curb the flu. I also have manuka honey and tumeric (from a good brand)!

Thank you so much for looking that up for me! That is a relief! You’re a gem. I’ve been to the dr again today who said the infection looks much better so the cream gas helped and upon inspection he couldn’t see anything there; he reassured me if there was even a slight chance he was worried he would send me to do more tests. I hope I get strong enough to the point where I trust the drs (they are the ones with the medical degree after all) and trust that I’m ok. I’m healthy. This constant fear and whispers in my mind hopefully will calm down. I’m going to see my psych on Wednesday so we can start CBT. I wish I could be the way I used to be; not scared of my health and every little niggle.

Its so lovely corresponding with you; I so look forward to it. Please try to rest; and get some good ol chicken soup into you!

[Ash81]

Hi Annie

i felt a bit better yesterday and now I’m back to being very bad again unfortunately

I’m so scared of this feeling in my rectum (sorry tmi again) it just feels like something is stuck there.. itch has gone thanks to the cream but that feeling of there being something ‘there’ is still there... the dr didn’t use a scope to check only his fingers so now my mind is thinking oh then it’s not that good of a diagnosis cos he didn’t use a scope.. I’m terrified of what this feeling is... gosh! I hope you’re feeling a bit better.

This is seriously the worst thing to deal with; constant fear is exhausting

[Guest_2496]

Hi Ash

i hope you’re feeling better again and try to trust that the dr is not concerned so you don’t have to be. I’m sure that he would have felt if there was anything there to worry about and chose tests based on your symptoms.

I’m feeling too unwell flu-wise at the moment to offer much sense but maybe just look back a few months and see that none of the things you were worrying about happened, and how much fun / time you could have been spending with your kids instead of worrying. Give that a try? x

[Ash81]

Hi Annie,

I hope you’re feeling a little better?

Mum kids seem to have caught something that I seem to have today too which has given me the runs.

Unfortunately I’m still doing very bad in the other sense. I’m absolutely terrified of bowel cancer.. this feeling of there being something there is terrifying me. I’m really really trying to repeat what the drs said to me that I don’t have the symptoms for it; I’m not bleeding from behind or have unexplained weight loss or have anaemia thank god. But when I look up ‘feeling of there being poop or something stuck in my rectum’ for four weeks now BOWEL CANCER comes up. I’m so silly I even looked it up. I seriously hate health anxiety. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. I don’t know what to do to try to get rid of this fear.

[Guest_2496]

Hi Ash

No, I’m not better yet. Flu has developed into bronchitis. I’m so exhausted I feel miserable.

I haven’t heard of that being a symptom of bowel cancer...was it a reputable health/medical site you were on? Regardless now that you’ve read that I’m sure it’s going to play on your mind. Maybe a colonoscopy is the only way to calm your fear once and for all. When you have one, and it’s clear, the dr can very confidently tell you that you are not at risk for x number of years at least. Maybe ask the gp about a referral for one?