Health anxiety and hypochondria.

MamaCorydoras · ‎09-10-2019

Hi all, this is my first time posting here! The short version of my story is: I had my first panic attack about 4 months ago and since then my body hasn't been the same. I feel pain in my neck, between my shoulder blades and a tightness in my throat on most days, however after countless scans my Dr believes there is nothing wrong with me and that this is all anxiety related.

For anyone who can be bothered ready, here is my more detailed story: About 4 months ago I was at the cinema when I began feeling a really sharp pain in my right shoulder blade, this developed into palpitations and numbness in my right arm. I went to ER and after a few hours there was sent home with nothing. I saw my Dr who believed it was all anxiety related due to a panic attack, and since then I've had countless symptoms. I saw a Neurologist due to headaches, had an MRI which found a Chiari Type 1 Malformation I was convinced this was the cause. I then saw a Neurosurgeon who said that my scans are fine and aren't the cause of my symptoms. I've had blood tests, chest and neck x-rays, allergy testing and everything is clear. I've been on more medication over the last 4 months than I have ever been in my entire life.

I was referred to a Psychologist, who in my opinion was terrible, and stopped going. To this day I still have the neck pain, and tightness in my throat. My Dr acknowledged that I've had various sinus infections this year, however has no idea what is causing these symptoms.

I'm convinced that I have a mystery illness that is going to kill me, I can't sleep some nights because I'm scared I won't wake up, I feel like I can't make concrete plans for my future because I might die tomorrow.

I appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read this long post, and would appreciate any advice, experience or to know I'm not alone. Much love to everyone!

Here_I_am · ‎10-10-2019

Hi MamaCorydora,

Firstly, well done on reaching out and posting here. It's a great step in a healthy direction! 🙂

Secondly, you are absolutely not alone. Concerns about health are serious and affect all of us at some point in our lives. It sounds like the biggest hurdle is working out whether the concerns are valid or not, and that is where the anxiety and other mental health confounds play a big part in the overall discussion.

I appreciate your experience with a psychologist was not great; this happens and unfortunately so many people have negative initial experiences and never go back to any form of therapy. I encourage you to look at your psychologist experience as you would a mechanic for your car - if you have a bad experience with a mechanic who ripped you off or didn't repair your car properly, most of us would very quickly and without second thoughts find another mechanic. We wouldn't write mechanics off as an unhelpful or untrustworthy profession. Same with psychologists. There are so many different forms of therapy and intervention; one bad experience is just that - a bad experience. Do you think you could reach out to your GP and ask to be referred to a different psychologist? It's also helpful to go to a psychologist appointment with a clear idea of what you want to get from the engagement. The psychologist is there to help you, and to do that they need to know what help you need from them. It may take three or four sessions before traction is achieved. Many people go to a psychologist and have the unreasonable expectation that they're going to come out of the first session with the therapeutic version of an Ikea flat pack, and when they don't receive a heap of direction or advice, they assume the therapist is useless. On the contrary - the therapist is likely waiting for you to tell them what you hope to achieve through working with them. The work takes time. Is re-engaging with a different psychologist something you feel you could try?

Thanks for posting here on Beyond Blue. It's great to see you here, and I hope you keep talking - there's a lot of really understanding people here in these forums with a wealth of knowledge and experience.

Talk soon.

Cat67 · ‎10-10-2019

Oh dear Oh dear...this Health Anxiety is driving me crazy!

I've had a very bad 10 months ever since I was prescribed too much cortisone for a cough last December. I just spiralled out of control after that. There's just been one thing after another. A vomiting bug in February, a broken tooth, root canal, rashes, anxiety to the max, corneal ulcer and infected toenail! You all saw the program of the guy who DIED from an infected toenail, right? Well I'd convinced myself that would be me! A dose of antibiotics fixed the pain but now I've pretty much convinced myself I have a melanoma under the nail, despite the incidence of this being 1% of all cancers! Despite the fact the photos of such disease looks nothing like my toe I've worked myself up into a lather. I have a doctor appointment next week to put my mind at rest, hopefully, but in the mean time everything my psychologist has reinforced and told me has just gone out the window. There are people in the world who are literally dying from hideous diseases yet I have to blow everything up out of proportion....the corneal ulcer I'd assumed was something worse, every little symptom is "something bad" despite my finding out every time it's nothing. So over it. Anxiety is a thief alright.

MamaCorydoras · ‎10-10-2019

Thanks so much for your responses! I think what tipped me over the edge was that an article came up on Facebook about '23 times people complained of a headache and went to the ER, were sent home because they found nothing and had a stroke a few hours later...' kind of thing. I've been to the ER about 3 times since that first panic attack only to be checked over and told there was nothing seriously wrong. My current plan of action is to go back to my doctor this weekend and see if there is anything else I can do, otherwise potentially get a referral to see a new psychologist. I have no doubt my previous one was good, just not my style! I honestly felt like he didn't provide me with anything to work on in 4 weeks.

I really feel for you who are struggling with health anxiety, even though we may be okay for me it's the thought that I haven't had enough time in my life to do everything that I want to do.

I appreciate any further advice and send all my love and support to you all!

Here_I_am · ‎11-10-2019

Hi MamaCorydora and Cat67,

I can only imagine the stressors and pressure health anxiety swings your way. To on one hand know there is likely nothing to worry about yet on the other hand have this certainty everything is wrong would be exhausting by the sounds of it.

One thing that may be of assistance might be to avoid the sensationalism of social media/news sites/Dr. Google/etc. When we read about that one guy that got a sore toe and then died three weeks later, we're literally reading about such a rare and unforeseen case; out of 7.7 billion people in the world, we happen across the one article that talks about one guy who died from a sore toe - what we don't get in that story is the rest of the world's average, normal, mundane day. We hone in on one example of extraordinary anomaly, when in reality the world keeps turning, and for the most part spins on as it always has and always will. Avoiding the overtly sensationalistic accounts of unfortunate events that occur in an otherwise balanced world may assist with painting a realistic picture of the likelihood of serious illness befalling us.

Sincerely hoping future sessions with GP's and psychologists provide some helpful tools for you both.

Talk soon.

Cat67 · ‎11-10-2019

Hi MamaCorydora,

Yes, you're right...avoiding facebook and the like would help. It was such a coincidence with my toe.....the toe was sore (I had a dr appt booked) then literally the next morning I woke up, checked facebook and the first thing that came up was the infected toenail guy who died from sepsis from his undiagnosed infected toenail- as it was going to be on Australian Story on TV that night! I took it as a sign....I tell my psychologist....that whenever I worry about something happening, no matter what it is, it ALWAYS never happens, but if I brush it off and don't think about it, you can bet it does! He says that means nothing as if it did that would mean I can predict the future. But no matter what he says I feel it's true. If I'm going to the dentist for a yearly check I'll worry about something being wrong...you know, do I need another root canal? The ONE time I don't think about it is when something bad happens. This does nothing to help my urge to fix my issues with worry.

Cat67 · ‎11-10-2019

Lets face it....sometimes doctors do get it wrong....rarely I guess but it happens. When you hear horror stories it's easy to transgress into anxiety and worry about trivial things. I've also had more medications in twelve months than I've had my whole life I think.

Bookgirl · ‎11-10-2019

I have found with anxiety that i have all kinds of symptoms including chest and stomach pain. i have had so many tests and everything is fine so i know now its anxiety. Doesn't stop me having issues though. A friend at work's 30 year old daughter got breast cancer, i got chest pains then thought i had a lump and squeezed it which caused a scab which convinced me i had breast cancer. I would look at it all the time every day getting more and more worked up. Went to a dr who said it was fine but he was young and i didn't believe him so went to my usual dr who told me it was fine. Only then that i felt more relaxed about it all. I have gone through this numerous times and it never comes to anything. I should be better at relaxing but i am just not. Know that you aren't the only one with these kinds of worries.

Cat67 · ‎11-10-2019

Hi Bookgirl,

So good to hear I'm not alone in this! I recently had a mole under my arm turn black overnight! I convinced myself it was a melanoma- it was a weekend so had to wait to see a dr. He took one look at it and said I'd scratched it - turns out I remembered catching it with a razor when shaving a few days before- jeez! I've had heaps of tests for all sorts of stuff too - my dr says my blood tests are "out of this world" for someone who's 60...and he says I have the blood pressure of a 16 year old, so why am I worrying about every single thing? The latest is an infected toenail (6 weeks ago) which has cleared but looks awful and there's a tiny light brown bruise like spot under one side that wasn't there before....here we go again....is it a rare (1% chance) nail melanoma? Just shoot me now. The anxiety regarding health seems to be my biggest issue these days.

MamaCorydoras · ‎11-10-2019

Wow, so many responses! Thanks everyone, it does help to know I'm not alone. This has taken over my life the last 6 months and it's so physically and mentally exhausting. I'm consumed with the thought that I have something in my body that will kill me and I just don't know it yet... My doctor thinks I may have fibromyalgia which is a secondary reaction to my first panic attack and now I'm over sensitive to everything I feel, I'm not sure. I have heard it's very difficult to diagnose.

I have had SO MANY similar experiences! A lump in my armpit, severe migraines that I'm convinced are brain tumors, chest pain I'm sure is an incoming heart attack. The worst part is that I feel terrible that there are people out there who have actually suffered from these and I feel guilty, like I'm overreacting or something...

I'm sending positive vibes to you all!