Health and Postpartum Anxiety

[AndyMx]

I have been suffering of anxiety for a few years now, especially health anxiety around cancer. I was doing well but after a visit to the Breast Clinic I totally went downhill. They took a biopsy and didn't find anything sinister but told me to come back in 3 months for an ultrasound. Right after that day I started getting pain in the armpit, shoulder on the side of that specific breast. I started having panic attacks and to make matters worse I am alone for a couple of weeks taking care of my baby.

I am trying to keep it together and I am on the waitlist for Gidget House but it is so hard! I can barely eat and the thought that maybe I have cancer but they missed it makes me so scared. The GP wanted to prescribe me some Valium but it wasn't clear if I can take it when breastfeeding so I refused.

Does anybody have any encouragement? I made an appointment to the Breast Clinic in 6 weeks instead of 12, and I still feel like I won't be calm until then.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear AndyMx,

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums...

I remember after one breast screening visit...I got a phone call from the clinic two days after to go immediately to the breast clinic as they had found an abnormally and I needed an ultrasound...I had the ultrasound sound and they found a few unusual growths....

Then came the biopsy....it was okay they said..it was a cyst, nothing to worry about....but come back in 3 months for another scan....I will admit that at the time I was questioning myself always wondering if they got it wrong..because I started feeling little twinges and aches around that area....

I was working at that time and it took a while until I realised that that I really only felt these twinges and aches when I was thinking about them....at work I let fine, and no time to think about how I felt...eventually before I knew it, I was called in for my follow up scan...and the results were normal...even though it did show up a few more cysts...

Nearly 40 years have passed since then....I get scanned every 2 years and have had a negative result each time...

I think the more we focus on an area of our body, the more things we feel wrong in that area...I’m sure the Drs would have told you if you had something wrong....

Congratulations on your gorgeous baby...Do you have any family or friends that you could visit or they could visit you on some days to help with your baby?...

Please talk here anytime you feel up to it...We are here to help support you anyway we can....

My kindest thoughts with my care...

Grandy..

[AndyMx]

Hi Grandy,

Thank you so much for your words, they make me feel a little bit better. I know many women go through these stages and some are so strong to keep up with work and family duties while others just collapse.

We are expats and our families are more than 20 hour flight away, this adds another layer of pressure as there is nobody to help with the baby and now I am even alone. I get panic attacks and very panicky moods, as in I am shaking and unable to eat or focus but I just keep going as my son needs me.

I am almost sure these feelings are anxiety related but a little voice in my mind says "what if it is actually something and you brush it aside?". I am so fed up with this and years of therapy plus meds don't seem to help when I really need it eh.

Thank you again and all the best,

Andy

[Petal22]

Hi AndyMx,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand what you are going through and it’s really hard to deal with.

I suffered severe anxiety after having both of my babies I also went through health anxiety it was tough.

I would find something I thought was wrong with my body I’d have it checked but I’d still worry and obsess……… I always had the what if questions? and with all the what if questions it drove my anxiety higher.

It came to a point in my life when my anxiety became severe I was diagnosed with severe anxiety OCD……. obsessive compulsive disorder…… this is an anxiety disorder.

I seeked professional help for what I was experiencing from a gp through to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me, I also did an 8 week group therapy for my OCD this is where I learned to master my OCD. I was given many tools and skills……… it took time to practice was I was taught but I’ve perfected it now and I’ve recovered for 4.5years from the vicious OCD cycle.

You too can recover from what you are going through so hang in there…. I know it’s hard… I understand..

Please go back to your gp if you are feeling worse….. I understand Valium can be addictive. I respect your decision to decline it……..

Maybe you could do a mental health plan with your gp this will enable you to see a psychologist.

My advice would be when you feel like you are going down the spiralling path instead of having the what if questions turn your attention to something in the present moment like if your washing the dishes how does the water feel? What can you hear? What can you smell?

Meditation is really useful have you ever tried this?

Or even going out for a walk and be mindful……

As Grandy has mentioned is there someone who can come and visit you and your baby? It helps to be around people.

We are here to chat to you.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear AndyMx,

I am sorry your family are so many hours away from you...I could imagine you would be missing them..,Do you...um I think it’s called face time, them at all....

I also get panic attacks, they are not nice at all to experience, my Dr. says deep breathe through them, but sometimes that doesn’t work for me...so now I try to sing a long with a song I know the words to, or try finding something to concentrate on....I have a few Grounding boxes scattered around my home...and I reach for them in a panic attack......We have a Grounding thread her...title “Grounding ourselves what is it and how do we”..If you search in the search bar for the thread title, maybe somethings in their be helpful to you...There are heaps of great suggestions from our community members...

Do you have any play groups in your area...doesn’t matter how young your beautiful son is....it might give you some opportunities to chat with some other mums in your area and hopefully form a nice friendship....

Please Lovely AndyMx, try hard to care for yourself by eating enough to sustain you and your baby...it’s so really important that you give yourself lots of self care...so you have lots of energy to play with your son...and so you keep your body and mind healthy...

Its hard isn’t it to quieter that little niggley voice inside us....Anxiety is good at doing that to us...

Here for you Dear AndyMx...with my care and a warm comfy hug...

Grandy..

[Alotgoingon]

Hey Andymx,

wanted to reach out and say that I was in the same boat as you recently. Once I stopped breastfeeding I noticed changes in one of my breasts and was sent for two seperate ultrasounds about 6 months apart but was never sent for further testing so am assuming that all is well.

Just remember that our breasts change sooo much with breastfeeding and can get lumpy/ tender but I also think it's great that you're getting a second opinion at the breast clinic to really put your mind at ease.

I have massive health anxiety around cancer too, it is really full on, my psychologist has helped a lot with this. Do you have someone like that you can talk to?

Also I know how hard it can be to be caring for bub by yourself, be as kind to yourself as you can and try to spend as much time as possible in nature x

[AndyMx]

Hi Alotgoingon,

Thank you for the encouragement, rationally I know changes occur when breastfeeding but because this nodule hasn't cleared in a few weeks they decided to investigate.

I know it is unlikely to be cancer but I can't help it as I have past trauma, my sister died of (a different type) cancer at the same age I am now.

I have a therapist I am talking to but as soon as my session ends I am back to my thoughts. Throughout the years whenever I had some health crisis or suspicion I have been a wreck it is so consuming!

All the best,

Andy

[Searchingforhope]

Hey, I can completely understand where you are coming from- particularly given the circumstances. I know how scary that can be and am currently going through a similar situation myself.

Please trust me when I say how easy it is to convince ourselves of the worst case senarios.

I hope you have support around you. Having a young one can take alot out of us. It doesn't allow for too much rest.

All the best