FEELING SOCIAL ANXIETY FOR AN UPCOMING BBQ

[Guest_3072]

Hello everyone,

So I've been invited to go to a birthday BBQ next weekend and where I won't know that many people and I am feeling anxious because there is expected to be about 30-40 people attending and it takes me a while to warm to people. I'm a little bit anxious of coming across as socially awkward and don't want to just hang around the few people that I know for the whole time that I am there. Do you guys have any suggestions for me. I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed even with what outfit to wear and what-not.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks guys!

[Quiettall]

Hi Gabby

I sympathise with you on this. I have been invited to many functions and have always found it difficult to feel comfortable in crowds. Can I suggest you find out if there is one or two people you know, that you can hook up with, even to go along to the bbq with. Let them know you feel a little nervous and hopefully they will help you connect with others. It might also be worth checking with them on the expected dress code. Otherwise, being a bbq, go smart casual...that always wins out.

My hint is to try not to expect too much but try also to take one step at a time, and do some self-talk to put yourself into a positive frame of mind.

[james1]

Hey Gabby,

I went to a birthday party on Saturday where there were about 25 people and the only person apart from the birthday girl that I knew pulled out about 2 hours prior. So definitely super scary but I think you can do it!

Like quietall said, what worked for me was just letting the birthday girl know that I was a bit nervous and so she tried to introduce me to some people and make sure I felt comfortable. Also, it's super cliched but just...try to be yourself. You can repeat to yourself beforehand what you do, so when you're asked, it comes easily to say what you do and see if you can find any common interests with people. But everyone's there to just have fun and everybody knows that they won't click with everyone. 🙂

You will be fine, and even if it is hard, it will be good to try and make an appearance. You can always leave quietly if you are not feeling good about it.

James

[PatT]

Hi Gabby,

Can you go with friends that are more sociable and try to stick with them? I wouldn't recommend avoiding the event completely because that's just going to make the next one more difficult. Alternatively could you just commit to going for a certain period of time then excusing yourself after? That way you don't have to face the entire thing and maybe next event you could stay for a longer period?