Feeling Pointless

[Chicken_Wings]

I never know whether to post in anxiety or depression. I think this an anxiety thing?

I woke up as usual feeling anxious this morning, but managed to calm myself and got a bit more sleep. Which I was pretty proud of.

But, once I did get up I just felt that tension in my chest and I was anxious again. I went into the living room and lay on the couch and turned on the tv to try and take my mind off it. But I don't want to just sleep all the time. I know if I sleep now I wont be able to sleep later.

So now, Im sitting here in my lounge, watching kids shows, wondering what to do?

And trying to think of something made me feel kind of pointless. I don't have kids like my friends, I don't really have any hobbies or anything. I walked into my partners office and said "what do I do now?" and he said "you can do whatever you like". But I seriously can't think of a single thing to do. Its hot out today and the heat makes me feel worse, so I don't really fancy going for a walk.

Going to the shops seems like a waste. There is nothing I need or want. I don't think I could concentrate on a movie. Its too hot to garden.

So I just feel like I'm just sitting here waiting for another day to be over.

[Bluey_moon]

Congratulations chicken wings on calming yourself this morning, that's terrific! 

Hey little steps at a time. I too feel better if I'm occupied! What do you like doing? Like when you are not feeling anxious? 

Have you tried writing down how you feel? 

Reading? Puzzles? Sit down with a coffee. 

Be proud of the progress you have made! 

Im proud of you! 

[Chicken_Wings]

Thanks Bluey,

I ended up going and doing the dishes! Not the most inspired of things, but it needed doing and it was better than nothing. But I'm afraid after that, I spent the rest of the day sleeping.

I actually have some pages from an adult colouring book, so maybe I could give that a try.

I'm at that point again today. I've done some sweeping for a lack of any other inspired ideas. But I'm not even tired so I can't even sleep it off. My stomach is rumbling and desperate for food, if only I could eat something!

[Bluey_moon]

Dishes fail to inspire me too lol, however sometimes I find concentrating hard on mundane tasks helps me stay occupied! 

Try those colouring pages, they don't work for everyone, but I enjoy them! 

Try to dream up you dream feast, anything you like, see if that helps with your appetite, and maybe protein shakes ect if you can't do food! Think of food as the power your body needs to help it stay on top of this! 

Lets try something for tomorrow, a goal, to eat 2 small meals/ fruit/ biscuits ect and then you could increase that. Think back to a good that conjurs up happy memories! 

Skye

[Bambino]

Hi chicken wings,

Hang in there, I too get that morning yuck and chest pain. It's horrid. I love colouring in, that has really helped me move my mind to something else. I also do jigsaws, that really helps to. I think you are amazing to manage to calm down, I wasn't so successful this morning 😔. 

[Bluey_moon]

Hi Chicken Wings, 

Did you manage to eat anything, today or last night? even something small? 

You could try watching cooking shows, they always make me hungry! I was thinking, you could also think back on a food that made you happy, or brings back happy memories, and try that. 

Hope today is ok for you! 

[Mummybee]

I love adult colouring in!

im a primary school teacher and before they brought out all the adult stuff I used to take kids colouring in home when I was having a bad day. 

It doesn't help with eating though I don't think. 

Oh well, we can't have everything!

skye, chickenwings and bambino, I hope you're all having a good day. 

Mine is ok! I'm feeling in control for now 

mummybee 

[Bluey_moon]

Glad you are having a good day Mummybee! 

I just had a long lunch with one of my best friends! Just what the doctor ordered! 

[Chicken_Wings]

Thanks for your replies everyone.

Yesterday, I ate a carrot! I was proud of myself, how silly.
Then I decided to talk to the park over the road and get more bags for the doggy doo. 

I don't know if it was the carrot, or the fresh air, but as I walked back into the house I was feeling like an actual human being for the first time in quite a while.

My partner came home and I actually said "I feel like a person!". Then we went and played with some puppies that a family member just got and I managed half a piece of really plain fish.

I was seriously on cloud nine. I did NOT want yesterday to end. I got home and did a little colouring, but I decided my pencils are terrible. 

Today, I'm at work!! I'm at work right now. I've made it to the afternoon and I'm only just now having any real anxiety about being here. I had to do some breathing exercises when I woke up because I was scared. I had a bad dream which didn't help. 

But I'm here. I'm doing it. I don't feel as good as I did yesterday afternoon, but I certainly feel better than I did yesterday morning.

I hope you guys are having some success today.

[Bluey_moon]

Oh my I feel like doing cartwheels for you! 

You should be proud of yourself, for what you have eaten (btw I love carrots) and for going to work and staying! 

i really am so glad your day was great!