Feeling like no one cares abour your emotions. Asking you 'how is your mental state?'

[Mayla]

Lately my anxiety has turned into rage. Some people around me i have had relationship problems with for years and they turn around to me and tell me its all in my head. That i need to go see someone. I know for a fact its not in my head. Everyonr around me has seen how this person treats me. But apparently im the bad guy because i confront the situation? Its turned my anxiety into rage. I scream. And i feel physical pain inside me that i know if i release out i will hurt someone. So the littke things now annoy me. Rage takes over but i burry it deep. And now i overthink and make up scenarios in my mind bc i cant talk to anyone about this because its not important to anyone around me. I'm selfish now to feel this way. Why is it that when i express my emotions no one cares? And when i dont express anything still no one cares? Its crazy. I havd no idea what to do

[Croix]

Dear Mayla~

Welcome to the Forum, I'm glad you came becuse you sound alone and unsupported.If I understand right there is one person who treats you badly and has done so for some time , and tells you are wrong to confront the situation - maybe a partner, I'm guessing.

If that was not bad enough when you talk to others about this you are rebuffed, told it is in your head. No sympathy, no understanding, you remain on your own.

This has turned to anger, which is no real surprise, frustration and poor treatment can do that. Anger does tend to build up, and now you have anxiety as well, building up scenarios in your head and the anger is getting more easily triggered, now by little things as well as the important.

If I've understood correctly things can't go on like this, you need to be well treated, people need to take note of your distress, and you need to have less need for anger and more peace and contentment.

I guess a first step might be to get an outside perspective. When you are in the middle of things it is hard to see everything for what it is, one gets used to bad treatment and sadly comes to blame oneself, to feel one is in some way lacking -not true of course.

So a couple of things, first is there anyone in you life who would take what you say with concern and want to help? If so speaking frankly with another on a regular basis can make a big difference. It can also help you decide what to do.

Living wiht al this plus the worry of hurting others if you blow your top is not good, life can be better.

Relationships Australia (1300 364 277) is another place used to such difficulties, if it was me I'd talk to them, they may suggest a range of things including counseling.

I would like it if you came back and talked some more

Croix

[Hayds]

I’m almost ‘done’ .... I connect with you. People even those whom love me (are full of BS).... aaaggghhhh

[Hayds]

Solid response. 🙏

[Croix]

(Mayla, pardon me for talking with Haydn for a moment here)

Dear Haydn~

Thank you. I have read several of your posts on the Forum, and would like to talk more with you, however I can't find your original thread - which would be the right place.My apologies if I have missed it.

If you do not have your own thread as yet can I join Quirkywords in suggesting you start one? It is not hard, the instructions if you need them are at the very start of:

Forums / Welcome and orientation / The forum FAQ thread

You have been going though a very hard time and are not hearing the understanding or support from those around you, including your medical team, that you need, that sort of isolation makes things much worse.

Sing out if you get stuck, I'll look you for your new thread.

Croix

[Croix]

P.S. That should be I'll look out for your new thread.

Typos strike again -sigh
-C

[Mayla]

Thanks Croix. You're exactly right. It is one person. It is my brother. We have a history of Anger issues in my family, him included. I have never associated myself with anger problems. I was the one with depression and anxiety. But him and myself have drifted apart these past few years due to a number of circumstances, and he doesn't treat me well anymore. I have tried on a number of occassions to talk to him and ask him to tell me what I've done wrong and if I have that I am sorry for whatever it was. He has always said I havent done anything and its just due to physical distance as to why he doesn't speak to me much any more. However, we had an incident a couple of weeks ago and he mentiomed somethimg that I apparently did to him amd i lost it. I got so angry that I don't remember what i said. Its as if i blacked out and all i remember was throwing the phone screaming and my body shaking with rage. And because i got angry I am the bad person. I have to apologise. Which I did apologise for getting angry but I don't take back how i feel. I do have a partner to talk to. He's more worri3d abour my mental state. So I am going back to my psychologist to re evaluate everything in my head. Its completely clouded my thought process again. I have been doing so well these past few years and I'm so angry and disappointed in myself for how I have failed through lashing out like that.