feel like I can't socialize and fit in with everybody else

[hawaii]

I have suffered with extreme social anxiety and avoidance for pretty much all of my life. But the longer it goes on the more I can't cope with it and not only is the anxiety taking over constantly but am also really depressed because of it. I find it really hard to talk to people about it. I can't even bring myself to see a doctor. I have in the past tried antidepressants but they often make me feel worse because they upset my sleep so much and make me feel weird. I also don't want to go back to the doctors for repeats or for blood tests. I feel like I'm the only person in the world that can't socialize and fit in with everybody else. I don't even feel comfortable being around family any more. Thanks for listening.

[HA1]

Hello Hawaii and welcome to the BB forum!

No you are not alone! You will find many others here that are similar to how you feel. My social anxiety makes me pretty much house bound. Talk more about that later if you like.

Anti depressants take a while to adjust to and often it is necessary to try and 'experiment' to find one that does not give you unpleasant side effects. But avoiding doctors, is probably not a good thing (although I am also guilty of that!). Do you want to share why you can't bring yourself to see a doctor?

Look forward to hearing back from you.

take care

K

[hawaii]

Thanks so much K for replying to my post. It really made my day having somebody acknowledge my feelings and to know that Im not alone. I appreciate it so much. My fear of going to the doctors is that I will just become a blubbering mess and embarrass myself. Im not very good at voicing my problems and feel like once Ive opened up I cant face that person again. Doctors also like to send you on to psychologists/psychiatrists and the thought of having to go and cry my eyes out will send me into a severe depression. I know they will want me to face my social fears which I find impossible. Anyway, thats enough wining from me. One day at a time I guess. Becoming a member on this site could just be the start of something. Thanks again for listening. I look forward to reading all the other stories and connecting.

[quirkywords]

Hawaii

I also wanted to welcome you to the forum and let you know this is a friendly and safe place to be.

You have taken an important step in reaching out and expressing how you feel.

Take care

Quirky

[Robbie_A]

Hello Hawaii,

Firstly welcome to the bb forum,and congratulations on actually making that first step to opening up about exactly how your feeling.

So you have actually made a step moving forward buy using this forum to voice out these problems your having,social anxiety and the feeling that your alone in all this is such a common trade in depression as Iv felt the exact same way,and I can honestly tell you your not alone, yes anti depressants can make you feel worse for a small while but can also do wonders, they do take time to work and find what one is best for you, so I would really urge you to try again.

Believe me speaking out loud and opening up to doctors and phycologist was the last thing I ever wanted to do,but it came to a point in my life,where I had to make a change and surrender or my life would be over,and I wanted change so bad so I told myself I am going to give myself every chance to get better.

So it's been 8 months now and I see my physcs on a regular basis and I'm on an anti depressant and I'm moving in a positive direction,i have tools now that calm my anxiety,and I don't put myself in situations that could make me want to run away, I just make it simple and don't look tobfar forward and take it one-day at a time..

I have never felt better in my entire life.. Yes I still have dark days but that's OK,cos I know it's all a process and if I keep working on myself I will eventual get there.

Maybe try mediation which is worked wonders for me,and slowly engage in ways of change which you feel comfortable in doing..

Good luck and I wish you all the best in this journey,stay positive and work towards change,i believe you will find the courage,look forward to hearing your progress

Robbie

[HA1]

Hi Hawaii - good to hear back from you.

I agree with what Quirky said, you have taken an important step by coming on to the forum and sharing how you feel. By talking on here about your fears and how you feel will, I think, help in reducing the anxieties associated with talking face to face with doctors. But importantly, having a place to anonymously vent and release some that pent up frustration is also good.

I don't think there are many here who have not cried when sharing their pain with health professionals. Certainly I did, more than once. Nothing to be embarrassed about (although I do understand where you are coming from).

Look forward to hearing more of your story. If you like start your own thread in the anxiety section then chat away! You'll meet a lot of new friendly people.

Take care

K

[hawaii]

Thanks Quirky so nice of you to take the time to welcome me. Much appreciated.

[hawaii]

Thanks Robbie for welcoming me and sharing your story. Funny thing is as I read it I actually tear up at the thought of having to actually face my fear of going to get help. I guess its only natural for an overly anxious person to struggle to when put in an extremely anxious position. Bit of a 'catch 22'. Desperately needing to ask for help for anxiety but anxiety stops us . Hopefully will get the courage soon. It always helps to hear others like yourself have found some help. Thanks

[hawaii]

Thanks K. I love hearing "I know where you are coming from". Will try accessing anxiety section.