Fearing the new job

[Neferata]

Like most people I can imagine there comes a certain amount of nervousness with the prospect of an entirely new job. I start a Master of Teaching degree this year to teach science in high schools, to pair with this I managed to get a job tutoring high school students after school hours. I figured this would allow me to evaluate if I am cut out for teaching, but unfortunately my tutoring is looking to be almost all in the realm of maths which is one of those subjects I can do but never thought I'd have to teach. It certainly isn't my specialty, science, which I did my bachelors degree in and have a healthy passion for.

To add to this feeling of unpreparedness I am also getting the hint that I'll be doubling as a counselor, trying to motivate and enthuse teenagers to take an interest in something they rightfully cannot see a reason for, much less care for. My fears will be answered next week when I meet my students and attempt to guide them through the torments of being in high school and it will be good to be getting some money while I study again. I can only breathe life into the quote of the working person throughout the ages "nothing is ever easy, is it."

I couldn't just stick with a well paying job that I hated, I had to go back to uni. I couldn't get an easy part time job, of course, I had to get something hard that I'm stressing about.

Much love to you all and I wish you all well through your own journeys,

Nef.

[Janey123]

Hi Nef,

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Although I'm not a teacher, I am married to one. I couldn't stay in my cushy comfortable retail job either, I had to go back to uni and follow my passion, and I wound up with a job where I have to speak publicly. (My. Worst. Nightmare).

In saying this though, I am so proud of myself when I look back at all the anxiousness I overcame to get here, and the job has many positive aspects too that I must not forget to overlook.

I read somewhere that the definition of expert is only that you know more about the subject matter than the person you are talking to. So if you are talking to high school kids and counselling them, then you are the 'expert' in their eyes. It's ok to not know everything, forgive yourself quickly if you don't know the answer to everything! Know that almost all teachers starting out, probably feel like big frauds too.

Think back to yourself in high school, if you were like me, you were way too worried about yourself, to be judging your tutors and teachers!

You are really brave for taking on something new! I don't think your 'fears will be answered' when you meet the students, I think you'll get through it (albeit nervously), but you'll wonder what you were so worried about.

Starting a new job is probably one of the more 'scarier' things we do, so don't be too hard on yourself 🙂

Janey

[Neferata]

Thank you Janey,

Your insights are very thoughtful and I have kept them with me. I had my first student this afternoon and it was indeed a nervous time but not something I'd call a failure. You're right, I didn't know everything I thought I knew and neither did I know the best way of explaining things to the poor boy who was my student.

Your story is very inspiring and I hope to overcome my fears and anxieties as you have done yourself.

I wish you well on your path,

Nef

[Ellie05]

Hi Nef,

It's good to hear that you got through your first session okay. I did some presentation training once where they filmed us talking. I was so amazed at how calm I seemed. I always feel nervous when I present but my colleagues say it never comes across. I think it's because as anxious people our mind is on every little slip up rather than the whole picture and we judge ourselves from the inside when the reality is that no one can see the crazy thoughts whirring around in our heads.

I was once so nervous on the first day of a new job that I considered quitting that very day and explaining to HR that I had anxiety. The fact that I got to that stage terrified me for so long but now I've come to accept that the fact of the matter is I didn't quit, I pushed though and conquered my anxiety, which I will do again if I need to.

Do you mind if I ask what type of work you were doing before going back to Uni? I don't really like my line of work either so am thinking of going back to study teaching too.

[Neferata]

Thanks Ellie,

You're right about how harshly we scrutinise ourselves and how different our performances actually are from those in our head. Since my first assessment of myself I've had more, different students and I am more optimistic toward tutoring and teaching.

My previous work was in mining exploration and it was the most boring thing I've ever done. The work itself was not difficult, only monotonous and long. Doing the exact same thing for 10 hours a day everyday only to have your days off in a mining town.

May I ask what you would consider teaching?

[Janey123]

Hi Nef,

Congratulations on doing it despite the fear! Hope you have a great time with it when you get more comfortable.

Janey 🙂

[Ellie05]

Hi Nef,

Apologies for the delayed reply. I think I would like to teach primary school as I've always been quite fond of kids. It's good to hear you're becoming more optimistic as you gain more experience - that's always a good sign!

[Neferata]

Thank you both Janey and Ellie for your encouragement.

I hope you do pursue primary school teaching Ellie. I've found the tutoring to be very morally rewarding to see the children grow and become more confident, but there are always the frustrating ones as there are in anything you do in life I suppose.

[Ellie05]

That's awesome - I have always been a market researcher and there are aspects of it that I love but ultimately I don't feel as though I'm doing anything particularly meaningful so I'd love to find a career where that is not the case.