Fear of being sick :((

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Originally posted by: Angel on 15 February 2013

Hi there, my name is angel, i am female and i am 22. This is been the first time I am writing about my issue and it is very hard to admit. I have a severe phobia. That is of being sick. Not just getting sick like cold or flu, but nausea and throwing up. I don't know where this phobia came from but it has plagued my life for the past 5 years. I constantly have anxiety after I eat a meal. I convince myself I'm going to throw it up. My mind convinces me that I am and I start getting hardcore nausea. I won't even be sick, but I will think about it so much I ACTUALLY think I'm going to throw up. My chest tightens, I can't breathe, I start shivering and shaking and my heart races. I have to take benzodiazepines to calm down from the thoughts. i avoid social situations as MUCH as I can in case I feel like throwing up. I eat one meal a day and the smallest bit and I convince myself that there's no way I could throw up if my stomachs empty. I feel so ashamed to have this phobia. Nobody knows. No one. Not a single soul. I beat myself up at work after I eat even the smallest thing. I dont eat breakfast in case i am going to throw up on the train ride to work. im constantly taking tablets (to stop nausea) because I have nausea EVERY SINGLE MIN of the day and night. I am so physically and mentally drained. I want the psychotic thoughts about vomiting to stop. I feel like there is a devil in my head that does this to me, even if i go one SECOND and busy myself with something else, it will creep up on me Again. and again and again. This phobia is so severe I am so drained I want to kill myself just to stop the thoughts and fear. From the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep I'm fearing I'm going to vomit. I wake up in the middle of the night from anxiety and i think omg what if i throw up right now? its making me insane actually insane. I'm always so hungry but I torture myself so much about being sick that I don't touch food. :( is there anyone else out there like this? I feel like an alien. How can someone obsess over something so normal to the human being? Please someone help me. Is this a normal phobia?...?... i don't even know where to start for help because I am SO ashamed and embarrassed to have this phobia. Whoever has been so kind to read this please don't think I am a freak, I'm just in desperate need of help I don't know what to do Any thoughts will be appreciated xx

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Originally posted by: geoff on 23 February 2013

dear Angel, Paula is right it's associated with OCD, but this still doesn't mean that this feeling of 'Emetophobia' won't go away by it's self. I have GERD myself but finally my doctor put my on some medication which is called a' proton pump inhibitors', in other words it controls the gastric acids from coming back up my reflux oesophagus. Thank goodness it's works for me, plus I also have that liquid medication which you can purchase off the shelf, it's advertised on telly by the ex female olympian and this also helps. I hope that this may help you. Love Geoff. x

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Originally posted by: angel on 25 February 2013

Dear Geoff, You're so right... I also have this problem of GERD, i tend to get it late at night and if i eat late and it gives me this state of nausea. regardless, i think i need to speak to a counsellour. but im so embarrassed!!! I dont know if this is a common ailment to have 😞

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Originally posted by: Paula on 25 February 2013

Hi Angel, it does sound like this phobia is from your past. Mine was set off by having gastro for the first time when my DD was 9mths old. It absolutely terrified me. Then my daughter kept catching it several times a year and I would get it very mildly but live in total fear of vomiting. I then had a very sick son and I panic now every time he gets sick, as this meant a trip to hospital and I had no support network. He is still unwell and I have trouble not checking him constantly through the night. I saw a psychiatrist who said I have OCD and helped me eliminate some behaviours and gave me a handout on negative thoughts but didn't help the root cause. So, I went to see a psychologist who is helping me deal with having feelings, which is making me less anxious in general, but not helping the sickness phobia. It's such a challenge hey! I do notice certain things trigger it as well as stress. You are onto something about past events starting it but how do we get help to fix it? I feel like I am running out of options to get help. Let me know how you go. I would really love to keep in touch with you. Are we allowed to exchange emails on here??

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Originally posted by: geoff on 26 February 2013

dear Angel, boy oh boy I know that feeling in the gut and that taste, yuk, that's why I kept on going back to my doctor,' please you have to stop this', the anti nauseous tablets didn't work, nor the injections of it, it only made me vomit, so he kept on changing the proton pump inhibitors, well it's not an actual pump that you can see, it must pump inside your stomach but it's an effective treatment for relieving the pain and discomfort of the stomach, and I am now on the strongest one, and believe me it does the job, and as I have said I also have this liquid before I go to bed, bingo, at last, no more GERD. The tablet for this 'pump' medication needs a script from your doctor and he has told me that so many people need this medication, so don't feel embarrassed by asking for it. When I stand at the chemists you can see so many people getting these 'proton pump inhibitors, PPI, plus the amount of people who are taking antidepressants is enormous. Angel this will fix you. Love Geoff. x

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Originally posted by: Angel on 26 February 2013

Dear Paula, Thanks for your reply. Oh my Goodness.. it sounds like your describing my exact fears... I know how you are feeling, i absolutely love them and want to have them as soon as i get married to my boyfriend of 5 years.. but I am SO afraid of this phobia of sickness getting in the way. I just sit there and think what will I do when my kids get sick WIll I run away? and what will my husband think? He doesn't know at all.. a few times we've been out and people have been drunk and wev seen people throwing up and ive ran away or attempted to and then iv started screaming for help.. and hes like "babe relaxxxxx whats wrong with you?? its fine dont worry babe theyre just being sick it doesnt matter" Then i feel like SO abnormal cause he is RIGHT, they are JUST being sick its a normal thing, we are humans, we get sick, we get better, we get sick we get better its a part of being human. so why the HECK does it scare the living SHIT outta me???? :((( I HATE this. of ALL phobias, i had to get stuck with this plague. I think I read somehwere that people who have this phobia, in oreder to get better, they go through conditional treatment, which is like being exposed to their phobia in order to get over it.. but I cannot even IMAGINE having to sit there and watch videos on people making themselves sick and vomitiong on camera. i already feel so sick thinking about it. i dont know maybe we can be hypnotised? maybe it is wishful thinking i dont know all i know is that i need to get rid of this ailment ASAP. 😞 Paula, have you ever thought about getting specific treatment for this? I am also wondering if we can exchange emails? Does anyone know if this is permitted? I would be so happy to keep in touch with you Paula, as I really feel as though you feel my pain and share what i am going through, and it makes me feel somewhat calmer. XXX

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Originally posted by: angel on 26 February 2013

Dear Geoff, Thank u for your response. Your suggestions seem great and I will definitely be going to the doctor to get this issue sorted out.I think the first step is the GERD thats in the way. I think if i get this sorted out, then the rest will be okay to deal with (kinda) I dont even know anymore! \The part that is killing my life is the fear of being sick/getting sick. Hopefully I will be able to express this to the doctor.. hopefully.. thank you for telling me bout the pump and the liquid.. i think ur talking about gaviscon? i have heard it soothes acid of the stomach... I am looking forward to trying these new methods out xxx

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Originally posted by: David Charles on 27 February 2013

Dear Angel, Paula & Geoff, I had oesophagusal reflux from playing pro trumpet. The anti acids really didn't do the trick and I opted for surgery. It's keyhole surgery. Just going in to tie the bottom of the oesophagus a bit tighter, just where the cardiac sphincter is. Basically, if you're getting acid burning your oesophagus (especially at night) then your cardiac sphincter is weak. It would have turned out OK for me but my surgeon tied it too tight so I couldn't play pro trumpet ever again and forgot to reintroduce my bipolar medication. So, all in all, months (well, years) of mental imbalance/bipolar exacerbation, workers comp due to medical discharge and the full kitchen sink. I'm pretty sure that's an unusual outcome, but then they mistakenly also sent me home with penicillen which I was allergic too as well. Never rains when it pours. If you want to look this op up it's called a NISSANS FUNDOPLICATION. The majority really benefit from some surgical intervention. You'll be OK as I was obviously the negligence case. It's how I ended up writing music instead of playing it. True story. Adios, David. PS So I never got to be lead trumpet of the Berlin Philharmonic..............but, seriously, worth checking out.

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Originally posted by: geoff on 28 February 2013

dear Angel yes it is gaviscon, and to taken after meals and about 30 min. before going to bed. Best of luck. Love Geoff. x

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Originally posted by: geoff on 28 February 2013

dear Angel, sorry forgot to say see if you can get a script for it from your doctor. Love Geoff. x

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Originally posted by: angel on 1 March 2013

Dear David Charles & Geoff, thanks for your advice. David sorry to hear the issue you had with the reflux, i had no idea you could have keyhole surgery I would never have the guts to do such a thing! One time the doctor told me i may have to have a endoscopy and i ran away from the fright of thinking something will be stuck down my throat 😞 I will for sure try gaviscon, but i dont think the side of my phobia will be fixed by gavsicon, but it will help i think.,. Im going to muster up the courage to tell my doctor tomorrow, wish me luck xxx