Dear Olive,
I feel for you as I'm going through similar things at the moment, including panic and also waking with nausea and throwing up. One thing that has helped me are some containment exercises developed by trauma specialist Peter Levine. Although these are for trauma, they can also work for panic and anxiety.
There is a video on YouTube where he demonstrates two of the exercises entitled: “Treating Trauma: 2 Ways to Help Clients Feel Safe, with Peter Levine”. It's probably easier to direct you there than me try to explain them. The video is actually directed at clinicians working with clients but is still generally helpful. These exercises have helped me when I wake up in a panic state.
It may be harder to do these when out and about such as in a crowd with your kids, though it may still be possible if you can take a moment at least. For that kind of situation I can think of another strategy from Peter Levine. He suggests taking in a breath and then chanting "vooo" in a low voice so you can feel the vibrations in your belly (which you can do softly and probably won't be heard in a crowd). What this does is it activates the vagus nerve and gives a kind of massage to the belly and digestive system. This sends a message to the autonomic nervous system that it can let go of being hypervigilant and go into the parasympathetic rest-and-digest state. Sometimes some emotions or sensations come up with this but then they move out and release. Peter Levine says himself that he has done this while waiting at the supermarket checkout. He doesn't worry if people think he's weird and he says others have even joined in 😂
Anyway, those are some body-based suggestions that I have found helpful. For me these things work better than trying to think my way out of an anxious, fearful or panic-oriented state. You could always try and see how you go.
Take care,
Eagle Ray
