Don't make me feel guilty, please.

[Not_Batman]

If you had planned a holiday to another state for a niece or nephews 1st birthday party and spent loads of money on flights, and you were staying with the parents of said niece or nephew, with the understanding that the people you were staying with were actually going to be around to spend time with.

You had a good first night, but the next day you found out that your family member you were visiting wasn’t taking any time off to see you, and pretty much  dumping you on his girlfriend and kids (one of which is the rudest most annoying boundary-less person and doesn’t like to be told no), while they’re away.

Then because of this, you had lost your ride back to the airport as promised and then had to spend more money getting a hire car because your understanding that you were going to be driven back to the airport suddenly wasn’t an option.

Then you were expected to babysit the kid without any warning, so the girlfriend could have some alone time, but instead took your wife and your kids out.

If the ‘host’ was silently annoyed with you because you didn’t babysit or take a child with you, and you still had to spend another night there, knowing full well you weren’t as welcome as you thought

And this was all playing on your already increased anxiety and depression, and making you feel like garbage when none of it is your fault, what would you do?

[tranzcrybe]

Great hypothetical question, NB 😄
I think I know this family (and many others just like it)!

Relatives rarely receive the same respect and consideration as other 'guests' where more effort is put into the display of hospitality.
But this does apply equally to the visitor as to the visitee, where tolerance and compromise is sort of mandatory from one and all to navigate the duration as smoothly as possible (biting one's tongue when and as often as required).
Keeping so may have enabled the free ride to the airport at least, and once back in the comfort of your own space you can look back on the experience with some relief that it is all over... for another year??

[Mark Z.]

Hi Not_Batman,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a stressful situation.

You should not feel obligated to do things you weren't informed about or agreed to, such as babysitting. It is important to express your need for boundaries. If there are activities that you feel uncomfortable participating in, it is absolutely okay to politely decline.

I would suggest you to initiate a candid conversation with your host about your feelings and your understanding of the arrangement prior to the trip. Be respectful and honest about how you're feeling. It's possible that misunderstandings occurred on both sides, and communication can help in resolving them.

Mark

[Not_Batman]

Well 2 months have passed, and not so much as a hello. Its almost as if we’ve been cut off. 
even trying to initiate a conversation is met with the sound of crickets.