Does anyone else ever feel like the thought of a normal life is impossible?

[ci]

Haven't been on here for awhile trying to focus on changing my life getting my ocd undercontrol.

Today it seems like I've bitten off more than I can chew. So overwhelmed by everything I've gone back to studying this year in my mid 30 with 3 kids and a business to run. Travelling back and forth to uni I so worried I can't do this. I'm not sure if I should quite and accept that I can only have a simple life and stay home where it's safe and easier to get through the day?

Sorry to vent on here but don't want to disappoint my family by telling them I'm not strong enough!

Does anyone else feel like this?

[geoff]

hi Ci, I know that you too are suffering from OCD just as others on the site are as well, as I have had it for 56 years and understand the fear you are going through, but can I say is that what ever decision you make is that OCD is going to be there, in other words, if you go to uni it will be no different than if you don't go, so what you have to decide, and let's forget about OCD at the moment, OK, is that if you want to go to uni then do it, you will sort out how to cope, don't worry I know it's there, but there are decisions we have to make irrespective of our illness.
I feel as though you seem to be strong enough, well you havwe 3 kids and run a business, isn't that quiet an extraordinary effort, well I think so. Geoff.

[Zeal]

Hi ci,

Welcome back!

I've had OCD for 10 years (since I was 13), and it's presented various challenges and frustrations over this time.

It's very strong and gutsy of you to go back to study as a mature-age student (though you're not very old), with three children and a business too. Try not to be too hard on yourself - plenty of people would find a life as busy as yours to be stressful and overwhelming at times. However, having clinical OCD does mean that you need to keep aware of how you are going with your mental health. Do you have a partner (or another family member) who can take on some of the child-caring responsibility? Also, how old are your children? Is your business run from home, and is it something that you enjoy?

If the study you are undertaking is something you really want to do, then going ahead with it is a good idea, so long as your OCD does not become too severe. Keeping in contact with your doctor and/or psychologist if you have one is crucial. Talking to your family about how you're feeling overwhelmed is completely acceptable. You deserve to be able to share your thoughts and receive support. They may not otherwise realise how hard it is for you. When they do, perhaps they'll want to do a few things to help. It's not that you're not strong enough, it's just that you are being practical and are smart enough to ensure you don't work yourself too hard.

Hopefully you'll come back here for support 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

[ci]

Thanks Geoff

You are right I just find so many triggers out in the real world. I feel guilty for making time for myself to go to uni instead of being at home being a mum. But I also want to show my kids you can achieve even when you have obstacles in your way.

Other people seem to cope with juggling things in there lives 2 months in and I'm already finding things so hard.

None of this probably makes sense I think I've just got myself in a bit of a hole today

[blondguy]

Hi CI

I have always read your posts and advice and find you a very strong and determined person. To answer your question...I find it difficult to comprehend you being a disappointment to anyone...especially your family

I often feel like you do CI. Overwhelmed and mentally revving way too hard. I admire your desire to better yourself through uni and running a family. I echo Geoff's wise and SM's caring thoughts

You make perfect sense...even though have tripped and had a stumble

My Kind Thoughts

Paul

[Lumoflyco]

Hi Ci,

Firstly, congratulations on starting uni, it's such a huge step! I graduated a year ago with my Bachelor of Nursing and I struggled through the two years of my course, mostly due to social anxiety. My youngest child was 11 months old when I started and I found it very hard to come to terms with leaving my children to become a full time student. The work load was also hard to manage but somehow, by some miracle, I made it. I wish I could tell you that things got better after I finished uni, but they didn't. I am now 8 months into my job as an anaesthetic nurse and I am contemplating quitting nursing altogether as I feel I can't deal with the anxiety and stress any longer. The short answer to your question is yes - I always feel like I am never going to be normal, though I desperately wish I was. If university is what is going to make you happy, I think you should stick with it. You will never know what you are capable of if you don't try 🙂

Good luck!

[ci]

Sm thank-you your post is lovely. What I'm studying is something I've wanted to do for a long time but ocd has had a habit of stopping me from doing the things I love it seems to enjoy taking things from me.

I have my husband he is an amazing support but I've asked so much from him he is taking so much time from work to look after our daughter so I can do this. She is only in kinda so she still at home couple days a week also have one in primary and one in high school.

My hope is that I can work hard at something I love and not give myself as much time for the ocd stuff. Break some of my rituals and do some exposure. But fine line between pushing myself productively and pushing myself to breaking point.

My business is run out of a store but I do my part from home its really isolating. And I don't enjoy it.

Family outside my home tend to take all they can from me think that's what's put me in this mess today they expect me to do a lot for them. But sadly noting in return.

Sorry I'm sounding really negative don't mean to be just one of those days thank-you so much for your reply it's great to hear from others with ocd hope things are going along well for you.

Paul thank-you for your post as well you are lovely to say that. I have read many of your posts and you always seem to know what to say to people struggling like myself.

[lookingforme]

Hi Ci,

I know you've got a lot of support and kind words of encouragement here, so I'm not sure how much I can add. Your title caught my eye because I very recently asked my counsellor this. Whether it was impossible for me to be normal, eventually. It's not so much OCD as it is depression, though most times the lines get blurred and anxiety sets in. A bit of back story, I have started studying again, doing some single units to work towards my Masters. After, well, a few years of rough times shall we say.

Anyway, my counsellor told me that as long as I want to be better, be normal, do the things I aspire to be, it is always a possibility. That resonated with me. I think it's great that you want more, that you are working towards something, pushing your boundaries. We never really know what we can do unless we try, right? Problems and all. Sorry, I'm rambling. My point was, as long as you want it as a possibility, I don't think it will be impossible, even if there are those times where you can think nothing else. Remember to always give yourself another chance. I think that's important. Remember you are strong and resilient for trying.

Take care, I hope that I showed you some support here, for that was my intention.

[ci]

Thank-you lookingforme I really appreciate your post. When you said as long as I want to be better, be normal, do the things I aspire to be, it is always a possibility. Really hit home for me and I hope it's true. Still doubting my self not sure what to do don't want to disappoint my husband and don't want to fail but. I'm truly not sure if I'm capable of living a normal life.

You sound positive and things are getting on track for you after some rough times I really hope that is the case for you. It's great that you have returned to your studies well done! Thanks again for your post I have read it a few times

[ci]

Lumoflyco I'm sorry just read your post some how I missed it. Thank-you and we'll done for completing your degree believe me I know it's not easy!

I'm sorry you are thinking of change in career I'm worried I will do the same I'm not sure. I've always wanted to do this and it fits my personality but I'm not sure if it fits my ocd just so tiered of changing my life to suit my ocd it doesn't make me happy at all. Feels like it's taken my life from me doesn't seem fair at all!