I don't know if the storm makes you stronger, but it does give you a certain unique perspective, one that you may come to appreciate having. I certainly can't say that enduring the storm has made me stronger (if anything it's turned me into more of a pushover, but that's fine- the old me was a little insufferable, in retrospect), but it did force me to mature a little, and at the end of the day, I can't say that I particularly regret having to endure it. Not that any of us really have a choice in the matter, but...ultimately I'd consider myself compensated ("well compensated" is probably overstating it). I can't say I would've chosen this path for myself had I been given the choice though.
What it can do, is make you harder. But being "harder" doesn't mean stronger. Sure, hiding away and closing yourself off might make you more resilient and you may feel as if you hurt less, for a time. That might even be true. But hard things are also brittle, and the question you have to ask is: How long, how much more can I take before I snap?
That's what I learned, coming out of the storm. Closing myself off and burying who I was under a veneer of constant deception and hissing at everything that dared come close only made me "hard". I didn't become stronger. I might've even been weaker. Sure, it may hurt less at the beginning, but as you're undoubtedly aware, the storm always finds a hole in your defense. The floodwaters only trickle a little at first, but the gap is widening, always widening, and soon enough, you find yourself drowning all over again. Except this time it's even harder to get out because you've walled yourself off from everyone who could help.
As for not having a place in society; I disagree. I think of society as a machine. Dumb and unthinking, it goes about its motions, and by and by large, it keeps the majority of people content, if not happy. But it's not perfect, so some inevitably fall through the cracks, awkward and out of place.
But that's fine. Because we can make our own place. While we may be dim and dour souls individually, together, we shine. We can be beacons for others. We can catch the fall-ers. That is our place. And maybe, just maybe, if we can shine brightly enough, maybe no one will ever fall out of place again.
Isn't that what you're doing here, now? I've spotted a few of your posts here and there, and you're supporting others, even while enduring your own storm. That's worth something. You're worth something.
