Ok - I woke up this morning in a cold sweat - fear and anxiety were in complete control of me and all morning and most of the afternoon, catasrophic and severely negative thoughts swirling endlessly around in my head - I could not see a way out. I could not think straight. Everything was doomed. I couldn’t cope! At around 4 pm I rang the beyond blue helpline, and I started to take deep breaths in and out remembering this is what I had done before to manage my anxiety. It helped. Slow deep breaths in and out. The phone councillor answered and I explained what was happening. She was kind, understanding and knowledgeable. She texted me a list of strategies that could help my condition. Stay in the moment, she said. Don’t let these catastophic thoughts about your future get the better of you. You are not thinking clearly right now. Focus on breathing and relaxing your body and mind. Nothing else. Just aim for relaxation - don’t worry about tomorrow now. She then suggested listening to calming music, so I you tubed ‘meditation music’ and found a clip with the Tibetan flute. I played it and it was very soothing. I thanked the counsel lot and hung up the phone. Lay on my sofa, breathing slowly and deeply and listening to the Tibetan flute. I kept saying to myself ‘go to sleep … just sleep.. just rest you body and mind’ and with my dog lowing next to me I drifted off to sleep! I was out for maybe 3 hours and already feel much better. Had a cup of herbal tea and now watching Dr Mariam Bialik podcast on you tube ‘ Thomas Campbell physicist’ - so interesting and helpful. Good to watch as it puts your negative thoughts about your future in real perspective. Highly recommended! OK I am starting to get hungry so I will leave now. I will not have any alcohol as that makes my anxiety worse and I will not smoke. I will focus on the here and now and think about my future when I am feeling better and have a clearer head. Tomorrow or the next day… no rush! I only have planned two things for tomorrow- take my dogs for a nice long walk in nature and make a nice marinade for a roast lamb. That is it! I am taking time out from my highly destructive thoughts of my future! Hope my story has helped someone!
