Crippling anxiety due to work

[Paulie_R]

Hi,

i am a registered nurse, I completed my degree in 2013 I was meant to be interning throughout 2014 but I interviewed extremely badly due to anxiety and was left without employment in that field for a couple of years. Then at the beginning of this year (2016) I got a job with a agency (working in new places every shift) I was put into places where I was the most senior staff caring for 60 + aged care residents by myself (some places I was physically assaulted by the resident-understandable because they are confused) then they started sending me to work with a patient who was extremely chronically ill, I ended up losing a lot of weight my hair was falling and I wasn't sleeping, I called them after a month crying saying I won't be able to continue with that patient-they stopped giving me shifts. Then about a month ago my sister-in-law said she will be able to fix me a job in a place that she knows, I was happy about getting a job and some much needed experience. I have since started but I am starting to have the symptoms of losing weight, not sleeping, hair dropping and most of all regret. I love the aspect of caring for people. But I don't like nursing anymore, I can't change professions because my family don't support that decision, also I don't have the finances to do that. And now my sister-in-law is involved, and my stuff ups will come back on her. I feel like I have a lot more pressure on me than I can handle. All my family and colleagues tell me to suck it up, it's not that hard, but it seems to me that I am the only one who realises that if I stuff up someone could be harmed!! Always so scared!

I just want to add that the care that I deliver is the best that I am capable of, I triple check everything that I do, but the pressure I feel is overwhelming.

[white knight]

Hi Paulie, welcome

It isn't an easy post to reply to. There could be several different answers.

As you have anxiety you need to make decisions that assist you in dealing with that serious illness. There are consequences if you don't.

Firstly, you aren't alone by finding you no longer desire to remain in your chosen profession and aged care is a very difficult job whereby skeleton staff level leave workers exhausted . its all about profits.

I find it almost amusing that your family would make you feel guilty about a profession change. Have they dine nursing? Shift work? Lifted the dead weight if a disabled person?. Until they do reject their comments. Seriously, its annoying being judged.

I would ask your SIL for a coffee at a cafe and thank her for her help then explain that you have a serious anxiety issue. That you are aware of others dissatisfaction but you need to deal with that health issue resulting in leaving the job she helped you get. I mean there were no garrantees you would be ideally suited.

Finally, look for normal work maybe retail. Or if you are keen, the defense forces. Other fields suitable could be, pathology, paramedic, first aid instructor.

Dont feel guilty. Loved ones should understand.

Tony WK

[Guest_322]

Hi Paulie,

Firstly, I just wanted to say that I have enormous respect for nurses. It's one of my top 20 most respected professions.

Yes, I realise you want a career change- and that's totally understandable- but the fact that you had the heart and compassion to have wanted to pursue this path speaks volumes about you.

The assault must have been very traumatic. I'm surprised that you had to continue working with that particular patient after she/he assaulted you. Can I ask if they offered counselling and time off for the assault? I'm not too familiar with the law but I feel like you would be entitled to those things. And I'm appalled that they took you off shifts after you said that you couldn't continue with that client. That's disgusting- the agency, not you.

Your family's and colleague's lack of compassion must be very hurtful and puts immense pressure on you. I'm neither a nursing student not a nurse but I do know nursing is a tough profession. The shift work, the emotional toll, the pressure of lives in your hands, shortstaffed workplaces, difficult patients, etc. It's really tough.

Tony Wk has given you some great suggestions. Would you mind if I added some more?Maybe a lateral career move could work.

Like I know many medical centres (where people see their GPs) hire receptionists who are actually qualitied nurses. They mostly do secretarial/admin work but sometimes assist with the medical side of things.

Also, what about blood donor centres. I know they employ nurses but if you aren't keen on a nursing role, could you apply for an admin role there?

Another option would be going into the public health promotion section e.g. qualified nurses who visit schools, group homes, etc to educate/teach skills like using insulin, etc.

Hopefully you figure out something that works for you. Your job is taking a huge toll on your health and you've gotta take care of no. 1

Thinking of you.

Dottie x

[BballJ]

Hi Paulie R,

Firstly welcome to the forums. Well done for posting your story

As Tony said above it isn't an easy issue to give advice on although have you ever tried to find out why you anxiety is taking over? Have you spoken to or seen a psychologist regarding it? As someone who has suffered for 10 years with anxiety I can honestly say the best thing i ever did was speak to a psychologist and started working through what was the underlying cause of my anxiety, if I can recommend one thing, it would be that.

Is there really no change of a profession change either?

My best for you,

Jay