Contemplating air travel when I have a hard time just driving an hour away from home!

[Fwuffy]

Hi everyone,

Feeling sooo overwhelmed and down on myself. I have had anxiety and depression for over 20 years. One thing I have become very good at is avoiding travel because of panic attacks.

I am now faced with this situation;

One of my sons is graduating, I want to be there for him, I have said I will be. BUT! I am finding the idea of two plane trips alone and more travel on top of that simply mind boggling and full of what ifs!

I am wondering if anyone else has really forced themselves into this type of exposure therapy for family reasons and how they coped?

Please, I welcome any input, thoughts and ideas, I really need to discuss this with like minded individuals that can relate. At the moment it's just going round and round in my head and I have 2 weeks till his graduation, so the pressure is on!

TIA,

Sarah

[Quercus]

Hi Sarah and welcome to the forums!

How exciting that your son is graduating. When you mention having to fly to attend I had to reply as I'm the same. I've only ever left my state once and have never left Australia. Unless I'm driving I don't tend to travel either.

What has helped me?

• Travel with someone you trust who you know will keep you safe if you lose the plot.
• Go see your GP about medications for travel anxiety.
• Book airline assistance. They are fabulous if you get overwhelmed in crowds and unfamiliar environments. You don't have to worry about getting lost.
• Plan in advance. If there is anything you can pre book or plan such as parking organise it so it is one less stress on the day.
• Leave early. You have two weeks. So if you plan to go early if you are unable to force yourself on the plane you have time to try again.
• Pack distractions. Music and headphones. Meditation apps. Books. Anything that helps you when you feel panicky.
• See if you can afford to upgrade. Part of my anxiety is the crowd and enclosed space. The fancier sections have less people and more space.
• Sleeping for part of the journey makes it go quicker. You could ask the doctor for medication to help you sleep.
• My worst part is actually getting onto the plane. The lead up anxiety. If noone can travel with you at least get someone to come help you get onto the plane. And distract you while you're waiting to board.
• Keep your inspiration handy. Photo of your son in your handbag or phone. Whenever panic hits take it out and breathe slowly. Remind yourself of why this is necessary and important to you.
• Minimise transfers. If there is a direct flight that is more expensive it is worth it. Make your journey as simple as possible. One flight is best. My father in law once got stranded halfway because he couldn't force himself onto the second flight. Having airline assist helps here too if transfers are necessary.
• Be firm on yourself. It is easy to allow people to convince you you don't need attend when you are clearly anxious. If you want to attend ask others to support this decision and encourage you.

These are just some things I've experienced. I hope something there gives you an idea that helps you.

Keep in mind airport staff see this all the time. So please don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

Good luck 😊

Nat

[Frosty_34]

Hi Fwuffy

Sorry to hear the pressure is on. You still have a couple of weeks to sort it out. How far do you have to travel? Is it all the way across the continent?

This could be a good excursion. Id be happy to drive!

Flying or driving with a friend will make it alot easier.

Frosty

[chrissy1]

hi u don’t know me but I have seen u around.. I just want to commend u on the above post. That was fantastic, it was so nice of u to do that. We need people like u.

take care

chrissy1

[Fwuffy]

Wow, Qercus you have given me lots to mull over...what happened to your father in law when he got stuck half way? That is one of the scenarios I was worried about! A transfer is unavoidable. And travelling alone is my only option as noone else can go with me.

[Fwuffy]

Thanks Frosty for your input. It would take 15hours to drive...by myself...and I am not comfortable with that either.

[Frosty_34]

hey Fwuffy

I wasnt much help but would be happy to drive you the 15 hrs! if ya need company, I have two weeks off work!

[Quercus]

Hi Sarah,

I'm glad it helped you. My father in law's experience was a huge loss of money more than anything (he couldn't get the second flight refunded).

He had a sleep at the airport, bought a new ticket and flew home. Huge waste but he just wasn't ready and that's ok.

He has massive anxiety about flying. Moreso about falling asleep alone on the plane. The next time he didn't go alone and was fine.

That's where I think a single flight would have helped. If he hadn't have stopped it would have been ok. It was the stress of falling asleep and missing his next flight on top of being exhausted and anxious that tipped him over the edge into panic.

I think if you have to stop and transfer maybe consider airline assist. They will help you and hopefully you won't be as stressed. Another idea is to take the first flight. Disembark. Take a few days to recover and then have the second length of your trip.

This method isn't for everyone but for some people being exhausted and anxious is a volatile combination.

I think that's where planning is important. You know yourself best. Would it be easier to travel in stages or to get it over with? I'd be sussing out places to sleep near the airport just so you know what is available.

Or even alternatives for example can you take a flight and then a train or bus trip?

For me the transfer idea makes me feel a bit ill too. Is there any way your son can drive and pick you up from the first leg of your journey? Even if he has to drive for 6 hours or so it might be nice to have the car journey with him. Plenty of time to talk and time for you to sleep.

Nat

PS. Hi Chrissy1. Thanks for the compliment that was very lovely to hear. I have seen your thread haven't got there yet I'm sorry.

[Fwuffy]

Thanks Frosty, that's a very generous offer😊

[Fwuffy]

Thanks Qercus,

Yes, the money angle is another thing that's concerning me. I feel locked in once I book and pay, and other family members would be paying.

No one is able to drive and collect me. I would haveto meet other family members there.

I really want to do this for my son, and for myself. But the anxiety is such an unknown quantity and I really don't know what will happen. I do have medication to help calm me, but it can make me feel very groggy which is not ideal.

Sarah