Car accident & lost my job

[PsychedelicFur]

Hello folks,

After finishing my Bachelor’s degree, I landed what I thought was my dream job. I moved three hours away to regional Victoria, excited to begin my career in the field I’d always wanted.

But the reality was different. I worked 40 hours a week, pushed myself to exhaustion, and quickly burnt out. My boss told me my work wasn’t good enough. When I broke down in tears, he told me to “grow up” because “this is the real world.”

At just 22, with no real mentoring, I was expected to know everything straight out of uni. I gave the job everything I had, taking every piece of criticism to heart, until I eventually burned myself out completely. Despite that, I was constantly told my efforts weren’t enough, and my boss made it clear that termination was always hanging over me.

A few weeks before I was let go, I was in a car accident. After a microsleep behind the wheel, I hit a reflector, overcorrected, and rolled my car. I was trapped upside down for an hour and a half until the SES cut me out.

When my workplace found out, not a single person sent a card, flowers, or even asked if I was okay. Only one colleague checked in—and that was because they were surprised I wasn’t at work that day, even after I’d told them I needed a week off to recover. I felt invisible.

Feeling like I failed. I moved three hours away, in regional Victoria for this job. And now I am back on unemployment benefits, feeling my Autistic burnout. And I'm so physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

[Croix]

Dear PF~

I'd like to welcome you back, it has been a while and you sound as if you have had an eventful time which you have faced with bravery and determination.

This is nothing new, you always face the troubles life has given you that way -something to be admired. Everything from a split family, financial hassles bordering on homelessness, being groomed by an older man and having several unhappy relationships.

You have your degree, showing ability and determination, and courage in moving so far away for a job.

I'm sorry about your car crash and hope you have suffered no ill effects. I'm even more sorry that you went to a firm which sounds horrible. No boss who is at all wise will fail to praise your good efforts, guide you where you need more knowledge and never hold dismissal over you.  How can you be expected to work well under the conditions you had

You did give it your all, and that should have been recognized, anyone who thinks graduated have been taught all the practical skills of their discipline is just plain ignorant. You  should also have received sympathy and offers of help from colleagues.

All I can assume is the whole place was toxic. All the workers their might live in an atmosphere where they see everyone else as competition and a threat - maybe they too have being fired held over their heads.

So what do you plan now, move back, or stay where you are, or simply look for promising jobs and move again?

Do you have anyone to help you. I do remember at one stage you got on well with your  dad after a quite a while whnen you did not. 

I hope you will let us know how you get on

Try a Helen ready Song.

Croix

[PsychedelicFur]

Hi Croix,

Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful reply — it really means a lot. You’ve remembered so much of my journey, and I appreciate how encouraging your words are.

The car accident shook me up, but thankfully I wasn’t seriously injured. Losing my job has been hard, especially after putting so much effort into it, but I can see now that the workplace itself was very toxic and unsupportive.

Right now, I’m leaning on my dad for support, which has been really helpful as our relationship has grown stronger. I’ve also started meeting new people my age in the local community who are on the autism spectrum, and it feels good to connect with others who understand.

For now, I’m focusing on healing and taking things one step at a time. I’ll keep you updated as I work things out.

PF. 

[Croix]

Dear PF~

It sounds like you are coping. Having a group to go to that shares ways of thinking and experiences sounds a new venture. May I ask how you are finding it - good I hope. Depends on the  group of course but many find it assists them to look at life without feeling isolated.

Having your dad to lean on in hard times is excellent, many parents get a deal of pleasure out of being there for thier children, so the help goes both ways.

Are you still interested in 60's music? I remember asking your your favorite song years ago and you said Eleanor Rigby - I guess you were a bit down at the time, have you a new one now?

Yes, I would like to know how you go.

Croix

[windywillow]

Omg, I'm really sorry to hear all of that happened 😞 The expectations put on new grads is insane. It sounds like you tried your best and sacrificed a lot. That workplace sounds so toxic. Anyone would feel so exhausted and deflated being treated like that. You deserve rest and recharge as you move through your burn out. 

How awful and poor taste they didn't send you anything or ask if you were okay after your accident. Honestly, shame on them, not on you. You will rebuild from this. Remember to be gentle with yourself. It sounds like you're screaming for a rest. We see and hear you