Can't seem to hold down a job

[luft_]

Hello to all,

I've had some trouble these past few years finding and holding down jobs. I have never been unemployed - but I seem to flit from job to job. Inevitably, something always seems to happen.

- I was fired from a gym when I was a teenager for locking the keys in the till (for some reason the spare keys were on the same key ring as the original set). The person firing me told me I seemed like I was a "pretty stupid person" and "not very smart".

- I got my first (proper) job in my early 20s after graduating university. I was there 18 months, didn't really like it, resigned to work on a 6 month election campaign, where I had a mid level role, did really well and made some great friends and contacts. Loved it.

- When it ended, I set up my own consultancy and worked alongside a very high profile Australian, then picked up several other clients and did ok. I still have some of these clients.

- At the end of that year I was attacked on the side of the road by someone who tried to abduct me, and then things sort of took a nose dive. I took on a client I didn't work with very well, the client at the time got very angry with me, then cut me off.

- After working for myself I decided I would try to find a proper, salaried job, because I was a bit stressed working for myself and running my own business. I got a job on a big political campaign. Two weeks in and my grandmother got diagnosed with cancer. Things went badly and I was stressed. I was bullied and worked for a manager who seemed slightly insane and wouldn't let me make any decisions. My direct manager was fired after also being bullied. After making a few small errors I was basically asked to resign and ended up resigning. 8 other people also resigned.

- I applied for another job and got a senior role in private sector with 4 direct reports. On my first day I was sexually harassed, other girls were too. 2 months later at Christmas my grandmother died after having cancer for 6 months. I freaked out that I wasn't doing well and resigned at the end of January and took up a 6 month contract for another political campaign (which is going ok but ends in mid-August) and took on a client on the side.

- Client I have on the side is going bankrupt - went psycho at me today over something that wasn't my fault (wasn't ever told about this thing).

Sorry for the abrupt timeline can't help but feel this is all my fault - I feel like I keep having issues at work and can't seem to hold anything down 😞

[BballJ]

Hi luft_,

From reading that, it does seem a lot of it is out of your control and you seem to have been forced into leaving jobs not out of dislike for the position but due to circumstance that arose during your times there.

Is there a possibility you could look at a career change completely? Maybe trying your hand at something new, it does seem you have quite a few skills that may reach out to other career paths?

My best for you,

Jay

[luft_]

Hello Jay,

Thanks for the kind words, but I'm still not so sure.

I once read a great quote that if all you're doing is meeting people that you don't get along with, most likely you are the problem, not them.

I feel like I am the problem and that I am really incompetent, or maybe too sensitive... I feel like I'm not good at anything, am always anxious and have too much on my plate.

The last three years I have been working often 60 hour weeks.

Nevertheless I have been told I am incompetent before by an employer/client.

Today I was yelled at by my client - which was out of the blue - up until now they have been happy. But today they kind of ambushed me without any warning of what the meeting was about, and blamed me for something that I later discovered was not my fault but someone else's.

In the meeting I didn't stand up for myself at all. I never really do - any confrontation and I want to cry! And the problem is that everyone else always gets their way - even when they're wrong.

Maybe I do need to go into a new sector, but I have no idea what to do. All throughout these past few years of mess and confusion, I have done well financially - I don't want to start at the bottom again!

I am thinking of applying for a Master's degree soon - maybe that can propel me sideways into something else - I just don't know what. 😔

[BballJ]

Hi luft_,

Look, it is always difficult in the work place at the best of times, sometimes if people see you as an easy target they take stuff out on you which totally isn't fair and not on. I don't for a second believe you are incompetent, you were clearly good enough for the role, peoples expectations sometimes are ludicrous.

I like the idea of a masters degree however, you never know where that can lead you.

Have you ever spoken to a GP about your anxiety and seeing how you can try and combat these feelings when they arise?

My best,

Jay

[Hard_Worker]

Hi Luft_

This is my first time posting and I feel better just offering some hopefully helpful words.

None of your outlined experiences are your fault, your job outline looks really interesting and challenging. Find a job that you love doing but limit yourself to only working 38 hours a week and take up a hobby, sport or volunteer for a local community group. I made the mistake of just working 60 hours a week to try and please others, trying to overcome workplace bullying but the people I was trying to please didn't even notice. I ended up withdrawing from everything else in life and then had life crash down on top of me but now I was alone.

You are a highly educated intelligent person and those skills are transferable into any field even without doing any further study, I would love to work with some-one like you as you sound awesome.

It is a good idea to talk to a GP I will be seeing a GP tomorrow for the first time in over ten years to try and get some help.

With compassion,

Hard Worker