Business Owner with Social Anxiety / Blushing

Doma · ‎23-06-2016

For as long as I can remember I have always been that little shy. It wasn't until my mid year high school that a girl decided to point out how red I would go during certain situations. Ever since that it has been on my mind.

Many years past & I have had my confidence days, partying getting drunk & not getting to bed until 6am Sunday morning. Many relationships they come & go you live & learn.

When 20 I was starting to feel lost, Melb hit a recession I lost my job & things as a apprentice was hard. I became more irresponsible & was going out constantly. I met my current partner shortly after which brought my feet to level ground again. (Partying was still going on)

I became qualified in my trade when I was 22 & had worked in many leading roles. Decided I want to try my own sub contracting for a while.I then felt very unsatisfied I became very self aware & blushing became a very big problem. Any situation social or not, apart from work. I took a rushed decision to have an operation to rid my blushing,which has not improved. (Great life choice there) The partner says I have stopped being so flushed & now it's more in my head. After operation I shortly went traveling for 9 months this was a thing I needed to do for myself, I felt I was going though a very early mid life crisis.I found myself being social & loving life again with fewer blushing moments (I guess having no responsibility does that).

Once returned I felt confident & pushed myself to go out & try different places around Melb.I have recently been dwelling on work again & life in general with some bad luck in running my own business which has caused stress/depression to appear & social anxiety to rear its ugly head in a worst way than it ever has before.i have lost all focus on the company & my social life is in a dark hole. I stress about social events in advance.. Even the family dinners I will make excuses for.

I still have a caring partner which knows about everything but admits she doesn't understand what im going though. She has a social life but I do wonder when the time will come were she will have had enough. (I don't blame her)

Keeping that in mind I want to work on myself to better my life which will In turn better her life also.

So im throwing this all out there.I have tried hypnosis & found it worked but was so expensive I could not afford to keep going.

So here for help & guidance in getting my life back,goals and to just have that smile again that use to catch people eyes.

blondguy · ‎23-06-2016

Hello Doma

Thankyou for having the courage to reach out and post. Welcome to the forums!

You are going through a bad place with having social anxiety, it is debilitating, I have it as well and its a pain.

I must say though that you have a lot of guts to start and run your own business. Whether a persons' business succeeds or fails its still a sign of great strength Doma.

Okay, social anxiety....I have the same difficulty with even attending a small get together at a pub/restaurant recently. Just for me its frustrating as I keep having to make excuses for non attendance.I hear you Doma

I am seeing my doc now to help me with my social anxiety and improving..slowly. I see that you have been trying so very hard to heal and good on you! If I may ask you Doma, do you have a GP that you get along with?

Good News....You will get your life back....with regular visits to a good gp or a counselor.
Social anxiety is still anxiety....it will lessen
You will get your smile back too Doma 🙂

Social anxiety aside for a moment, I just want to give you a compliment for reaching out and posting as well as you have. You are pro-active and wish to heal. Just my humble opinion......see your gp...they are well versed on anxiety compared to 1983 when I had my first mega anxiety attack(s)

It would be great if you could get back to us Doma. There are many kind people on the forums that suffer like we do.You are not alone here

My kind thoughts

Paul

Doma · ‎26-06-2016

Hi Paul, thanks for getting back to me. It really is nice to know I am not alone even in some of the darkest hours.

thank you for your kind words, although my business has only been going for two years. There are other car stress that also increase my anxietys that I get very down in life with everything that is going on. The tasks are building up because I can not think and organize myself.

It is having the biggest impact on my life. I use to be the social bug. But that is very far away from me right now.

in terms of GP I don't at the moment, well I have had one since birth but since I had operation i don't feel comfortable talking about my matter any further.

So if anyone has any referrals with great doctors with this topic, it would be very appreciated.

I have had mega attacks to in a restaurant (that was my brothers) and I panic and I couldn't eat anything I felt so sick... Until I was in my comfort zone..

Its having the worst impact on my life and want to change that now.

Moonstruck · ‎26-06-2016

Good to meet you Doma- you are certainly not alone. You express yourself so well and clearly an intelligent, insightful person who deserves a helping hand through this social anxiety....and panic thoughts.

A GP can refer you to a qualified psychologist to discuss this, (not sure if it's the same in your State but here patients are entitled to about 5 free visits) and I do urge you to seek some assistance because I sense you have a lot going for you, to allow this debilitating "thing" to diminish your potential and personality.

I felt an affinity with you from just reading your words and sure you will find some support, and friendliness here on the Forum. No need to be anxious with us - we do care.

perhaps you could give yourself some "time-out" to just breathe in......and breathe out.

All good wishes to you.....Moon S