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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Helpstar Have you ever tried a 'Power Pose'?
  • replies: 5

I have suffered with anxiety with public speaking, interviews, large events for a long time until I came across this simple technique called "Power Posing" the phrase coined by Amy Cuddy (she is amazing look her TED talk up). It's simple find a power... View more

I have suffered with anxiety with public speaking, interviews, large events for a long time until I came across this simple technique called "Power Posing" the phrase coined by Amy Cuddy (she is amazing look her TED talk up). It's simple find a power pose that you are comfortable with (search google for many examples) and before any event that may trigger your anxiety complete your power pose for 2-5 minutes. I like to put my hands on my hips and stand up tall in a "Wonder Woman" like stance. It may sound silly but it really worked for me. Sometimes I will just go into the toilets of a quiet place to power pose and could feel my energy shift. I would love to hear if anyone has used this before or if you do decide to give it a go please let me know if it worked for you.

anon143 Coping with others feelings?
  • replies: 4

I’m a little unsure on how to start this so I’ll just jump right in. I recently was on a FaceTime call with my mum, she was with my sister & her family. I don’t talk to my sister & haven’t really for a year due to very similar treatment I’m about to ... View more

I’m a little unsure on how to start this so I’ll just jump right in. I recently was on a FaceTime call with my mum, she was with my sister & her family. I don’t talk to my sister & haven’t really for a year due to very similar treatment I’m about to explain. In my opinion I find she is very condescending & patronising towards myself & my son for unknown reasons. I wanted to share some happiness from my day with my mum & proceeded to tell her the good news over FaceTime, as I was sharing that moment the adults in the same room as my mum began laughing at me, making a few “light hearted comments” & then my mum hung up. As they laughed & talked I went silent & started disassociating. Because I went silent & didn’t respond to them is probably the reason she had hung up. Of course this situation had me up over analysing what happened & it reminded me of exactly why I don’t associate with my sister & her children. It had been a year since we last talked & I honestly just feel it was a good reminder to have. But it also got me thinking about the past, my past. No matter how big or small my failures & victories have been, they have always had the same reaction. They always laugh or make light hearted jokes. Is this just how normal families work? Am I just an over reactive baby? They have always made my feelings & emotions feel invalidated. In the past before my son I would just put up with it but then they started showing similar bs towards my baby & I could no longer hold onto their toxic ways. I don’t really know what to say or do anymore when it comes to them doing that. If I stand up for myself they will become defensive & verbally abusive. If I don’t say anything then they just continue to laugh & make not so nice comments. There is no way to “win” with them. They’re toxic & I am finished with them.

Healthmadhelpp Could I have health anxiety
  • replies: 7

25 YO male I am also very obese. I have never worried about my health or had so many illness untill 2 year ago when I had some dodgy chicken meat and it gave me sickness. I went on to have over a year of consent abdomable pain all over, I convinced m... View more

25 YO male I am also very obese. I have never worried about my health or had so many illness untill 2 year ago when I had some dodgy chicken meat and it gave me sickness. I went on to have over a year of consent abdomable pain all over, I convinced my self I had bowel cancer I started googling and looking at stories and charts working out what my odds are of having it at my age, My aunty was diagnosed with bowel cancer 8 months after all my sypotmies started so that didn't help. Ive had bloods and a colonoscopy done and small bowel MRI which was all clear and normal. Ever since, every week there is something new for me to google and look up, another pain another illness ect. I do suffer from a lot of illness like, Tonsillitis pains in joins, chest pains, nausea, Lower back pain, Upper back pain ect. Every time I get over something something else comes and hits me. This year alone I have spoken to the doctor over 30 times, I have been up A and E 8 times, Urgent care centre 10 times. I get chest pains alot I always have ECG done and its always normal sometimes bloods and they are normal. I sometimes go up waited 6 hours to be seen and I know they cant do anything as it might be on going condition but sometimes I think I do it for reassurance I had headaches for 5 weeks every day and convinced my self I had brain tumour. I seen doctors who said they was sinus as it was more facial pain, But I couldn't accept it. So I went up to the A and E and was that desperate for help I lied about fainting and hitting my head, Knowing they would do some checks like CT and bloods ect. They all came back normal. I was referred for a head MRI which im waiting for results from. I had Virial laryngitis 2 months ago and was looking up throat cancer and lung cancer, looking at statics ect, This is what I always do with every illness I get no matter big or small I google. 1/2 SEE POST BELOW

Markymark313 Recently diagnosed
  • replies: 10

Hey guys this is my first post I recently was diagnosed with GAD which explained a lot,like why I was always tired ,fatigued ,trouble sleeping and avoiding certain situations.The last 2 weeks things got alot worse having big anxiety attacks which has... View more

Hey guys this is my first post I recently was diagnosed with GAD which explained a lot,like why I was always tired ,fatigued ,trouble sleeping and avoiding certain situations.The last 2 weeks things got alot worse having big anxiety attacks which has started impacting my work and social life. I am taking medication at the moment which is a being aid I guess but I am going to a psychologist tomorrow to see what help I can get there but I am unsure why I am getting anxious and having attacks the timing is very random and situation so I was curious if anyone could possibly shed some light on what going to the psychologist is like as that is making me anxious

Ali_A New relationship anxiety, parenthood and fear of not being enough
  • replies: 1

Hello, I am a single parent of a beautiful 11yo. Been on my own now for 10 years this year. Dating, or at least trying anyway, of and on for all this time. Nothing longer than 3 months or so. However I am just in the beginning of a new relationship w... View more

Hello, I am a single parent of a beautiful 11yo. Been on my own now for 10 years this year. Dating, or at least trying anyway, of and on for all this time. Nothing longer than 3 months or so. However I am just in the beginning of a new relationship with this great man for nearly two months now. He has been divorced for about 3 years himself, also with a 11yo. We have already talked exclusivity and we are both on the same page. Yet I find myself having this huge panic/anxiety attacks when I am alone. I fear, to the point that my heart feels like it’s tight in pain, that I will not be enough, that I can not possibly be good enough for this person. My friends are all in long term relationships, marriages and I can only really talk about what’s happening in my dating life from a funny side. I feel like they don’t really understand the anxiety that I feel it’s real. I had an entire 24 hours filled with shear panic and tears and I didn’t think any of my friends could understand what’s happening. My parents are passed away and I don’t have extended family (my child was at her fathers - she is not exposed to this side of me). In those moments I fail to see my self worth. I know I am a capable adult, I have a secure job, I pay my bills, car it’s payed for - mortgage on track and super just the same. I volunteer in my spare time and my child is happy and secure in her life. But the thought of having to share all those sides of me with a new person … and the fact that he is not quite as “in touch” with being in touch as I am scares the living light out of me. I want more, but I am not sure how. I am afraid that I have lost touch with how a relationship starts and evolves. Am I needy? Even though life carries on when we are not together. Or do I need to ask for what for my needs to be met? It is a spiraling thought process that goes on and on to the point that I look in the mirror and tell myself that this is what I deserve. I mean, who would want a anxious woman with such little self esteem? So… this is where I am. Even doing this seems, futile. There are people with much bigger problems and I am staying here writing about being scared of not being liked enough.

Guest_9632 Experienced Male Primary School Teacher new job riddled with anxiety
  • replies: 56

Hello, So this year my family and I made a sea change and moved to a new coastal town with a new job to boot. After working for 15 years in the same school where I was very comfortable, I’m now struggling to cope with the new surrounds and routines o... View more

Hello, So this year my family and I made a sea change and moved to a new coastal town with a new job to boot. After working for 15 years in the same school where I was very comfortable, I’m now struggling to cope with the new surrounds and routines of my new school. I’m now on anti deps, speak with a counselor and booked in for a psych (September was the earliest!) There is no doubt the big change of moving my family into new surrounds is what’s causing this anxiety and I do acknowledge this. I just can’t help over thinking everything I do and am actually fearful of what my colleagues think. I also now work in a open classroom with 2 other classes which is so foreign to me too. I’m use to my own room with 4 walls where I’m in control and can handle the surrounds. That’s all gone now and I’m at odds with dealing with it. At the end of the day I’m trying to get help, speak about it, my current school are supportive and I have even taken time off. But I’m still struggling to deal with the anxiety and over think so many things, especially on a Monday morning. I just don’t feel like my older self all. No doubt changing schools at the end of the year is an option but it feels so far off. I just need tips to revive the pressure and constant anxiety now. Any advice would be invaluable.

G.P Feeling alone and stuck
  • replies: 6

Hello... I guess I'm just here to find a place to put down my thoughts. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm currently living alone in a small granny flat, and have been here for almost a year. For the most part I've been managing well - it's the first t... View more

Hello... I guess I'm just here to find a place to put down my thoughts. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm currently living alone in a small granny flat, and have been here for almost a year. For the most part I've been managing well - it's the first time at my age (31) that I've been able to un trap myself from the mental struggle I had living with my parents. I've become more independent, confident and self aware. Lately though I've been having pangs to go back and live my parents. It seems petty, but I miss the small things - the home cooked meals, not thinking about managing a household (albeit a small one), and just their company. Sometimes I also feel alone, I'm not sure what's heightened this feeling lately. It's also ironic because my boyfriend lives within walking distance from me, and I see him quite often. I think what's worried me is the lease deadline - I'll need to put in my notice 6 weeks beforehand, but can't seem to decide. I've been stuck on this decision for a few weeks, and while there is no rush per se, I'm the type of person who likes to know what's next. I've confided in my friends and family, and they think it's best I stay here for the meantime because of my growth (which because I'm a generally negative Nancy, I don't seem to see). So in my head this indecision has stressed me out and made me feel quite anxious, I've trapped myself. While I see the logic in staying here, I don't know why I can't shake the feeling of still going back. At the same time, I know that the main reason I moved out to begin was because I was feeling mentally stressed living under the same roof as them. I'm not sure what to, and the more I think about it, I become triggered and cry for no reason at all. I feel silly for not being able to decide, is there something wrong with me? Thanks for listening... GP

Baileybasil Have no idea what to do with my life
  • replies: 22

I don’t have any passion or motivation anymore, not even for the things I used to like. Bad things happened during highschool and that caused me to drop out before completing year 10, now years later I’m still depressed but now I have to get my life ... View more

I don’t have any passion or motivation anymore, not even for the things I used to like. Bad things happened during highschool and that caused me to drop out before completing year 10, now years later I’m still depressed but now I have to get my life together, how can I do that when I have too much social anxiety to see my girlfriend or take a phone call? I can’t study anything I want to because they all have a requirement to finish year 12 to enter. And I also have no idea what I want to do and no drive to fix anything either. I think about the future and I only get upset, I don’t want to be forced to work a job I hate until I die or work until I’m old with no savings like my parents. I talk to people these days and I cringe at myself, dissecting what I said and telling myself it was stupid or lame.

Sanja04 Loss of balance
  • replies: 4

Hello all, im a newby here and wanted to share my situation and to see if anybody here can share some tips. Have suffered from anxiety/hipocondria for many years but this time is really hard. I did brain mri and its all fine thank god. My neck c3 and... View more

Hello all, im a newby here and wanted to share my situation and to see if anybody here can share some tips. Have suffered from anxiety/hipocondria for many years but this time is really hard. I did brain mri and its all fine thank god. My neck c3 and c4 have annulus tear, disc protrusion and flattening of the right hemicord with potential root impingmement. Also my c5 c6 and c7 have small disc bulging and protrusions. I also have hypoplasia of the right transverse and sigmoid sinus as well as right maxiallry mucosal changes...so all in all lots going on but my neurologist believes the balance issue is in my head. My gp thinks the same. Im sometimes ok but then sometimes i simply am scared to walk. I have never fallen or anything like that but i always feel like im on the boat. I really dont know what else to do to help my situation. Anybody here that could share some tips pls? Thank you

bumblebee3160 Health Anxiety! - Brain Tumour
  • replies: 3

I think I have health anxiety. I constantly feel like something horrible is wrong with me, the most common horrible thought is that I have a brain tumour. A friend just passed from a brain tumour and ever since he was diagnosed I have lived in consta... View more

I think I have health anxiety. I constantly feel like something horrible is wrong with me, the most common horrible thought is that I have a brain tumour. A friend just passed from a brain tumour and ever since he was diagnosed I have lived in constant fear. Unfortunately I started consulting Dr Google, I can’t stop worrying every little headache is a sign! It’s gotten to the point where I think I’m now having panic attacks, I get heart palpitations, my legs turn to jelly and literally shake uncontrollably, I cry and then I can’t sleep, I start jolting awake when I try to fall asleep. ugh it’s awful! And it’s so draining! I’m sick of feeling like somethings wrong with me all the time! I don’t know what to do or how to stop! Do I really have something wrong with me or am I just paranoid! Has anyone else felt this way? Have you had these horrible thoughts turn out to be true? Any tips and advise would be greatly appreciated! I just want my life back.