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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Sonja90 Unable to seek professional help, where do I go
  • replies: 5

I just created a profile here today, in desperate need of help. I’m currently sitting in my car outside my GP’s office. Had an appointment 30 minutes ago, but was unable to go in because I just can’t stop crying. I tried to prepare myself for how the... View more

I just created a profile here today, in desperate need of help. I’m currently sitting in my car outside my GP’s office. Had an appointment 30 minutes ago, but was unable to go in because I just can’t stop crying. I tried to prepare myself for how the conversation would go on the drive here, but I’m even unable to say it out loud to myself, as I just cry and cry, unable to say a word. I’ve lived with anxiety for 3 years, and have been able to live a very good life through meditation, working out and breathing techniques. But now I’m facing week 5 of very intense anxiety without a single break. I can’t see the end of it and think I need help to get out of it this time, but where do I go? Talking to my GP just seems like an impossible task to me right now

_findingthelostme_ I feel like they just don't like me
  • replies: 5

I don't consider myself stupid, mean, unfriendly or uptight, nothing like that. I know I am fairly shy but lately I feel super self conscious. I know I'm not living my best life, in fact these last few years I'm just doing my best to get by. But I kn... View more

I don't consider myself stupid, mean, unfriendly or uptight, nothing like that. I know I am fairly shy but lately I feel super self conscious. I know I'm not living my best life, in fact these last few years I'm just doing my best to get by. But I know work 3 jobs with 3 kids and study pt at uni, I work bloody hard and do my best. Tonight, I thought back to a few recent jobs I lost after short periods and looked up a fb site of one of them scrolling back to the week after one of them let me go giving no reason other than "deciding to go down another path", There in my seat was my replacement, this beautiful looking young girl. Perfect hair and makeup. Seeing her made me feel really ugly and unwanted, not good enough. I returned to my old job and now I am the oldest and longest lived receptionist working there. I've seen many people come and go. Thing is, I'm still doing the same job, no promotion, no new skills, no prospects for new work and my ideas are never considered, unlike all the newbies. I am by far overqualified, I do my job well and train the other girls but the boss doesn't like me, I don't know why. Seems like I'm not trusted and every thing I do is wrong or I say the wrong things and everytime it is picked up, yet when I hear others talking crap seems nobody is listening but me. I feel like I'm always cleaning up other peoples mess like I'm the only one that sees it and nobody every thanks me or acknowledges me. I feel unloved and unappreciated and I don't know why. People exhaust me and I want to run from everyone. I'm so tired. Whats wrong with me? I don't know what to do about this yucky feeling inside. I don't really have any friends or family to talk about this anymore and I feel unloved.

Thommo1163 Anxiety - Social Phobia & Cibophobia & to top it off prolific nail biter for over 50 years
  • replies: 9

Trouble in a relationship has brought me here. My wife has previously just used the "its just him" excuse that has allowed me to have 25 yrs of marriage without dealing with my issues. She no longer wants to use that excuse so I now need to act to ha... View more

Trouble in a relationship has brought me here. My wife has previously just used the "its just him" excuse that has allowed me to have 25 yrs of marriage without dealing with my issues. She no longer wants to use that excuse so I now need to act to have any chance of holding onto my marriage which I dearly do. Self help seems to be the way forward while I wait for professional help as Covid seems to have created log jams of pyschologists. All my issues seem to be inter-related in someway so I am hoping dealing with 1 will assist in dealing with the others. Maybe I am kidding myself though with the food phobia. Fear & depression rear their ugly head every now & then but again they are related to the anxiety getting worse. I have been told by my wife not to rush & to work on the fact I start a new job after 20 years of being a stay at home dad on Monday, Adding to my anxiety. But the feeling of my marriage slipping away has me wanting to take affirmative action whilst waiting for professional help. Hopefully it can start my journey to a more fulfilling happy married life as well as a more fulfilling life for myself.

Roberta2 Place too much self worth into work
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone. I’m new here. Hoping to write about my current feeling for some thoughts. I work in a good job but can be high stress and a challenging boss. I don’t have kids and work is everything really - Even more during the covid lockdowns. I had k... View more

Hi everyone. I’m new here. Hoping to write about my current feeling for some thoughts. I work in a good job but can be high stress and a challenging boss. I don’t have kids and work is everything really - Even more during the covid lockdowns. I had known for some time I’m abit of a ticking time bomb with my anxiety and one wrong turn or criticism at work would tip me over the edge and after some recent feedback on something I tried hard on, I am at that point. I try really hard at work to be good because I want to be but also because I know I’ve been sitting there waiting to fail at something. Would love to hear how others manage this kind of anxiety.. I know diet and exercise will help and I do try. I’m not doing intense exercise but I am getting in a daily walk or two.

Willy943 I'm feeling kind of worthless
  • replies: 7

The past couple years I've felt like I'm not smart enough. I want to be an engineer when I leave school but I feel like I haven't been paying attention enough in school and now that I'm in yr11 it's too late for me. Everyone in my classes and all my ... View more

The past couple years I've felt like I'm not smart enough. I want to be an engineer when I leave school but I feel like I haven't been paying attention enough in school and now that I'm in yr11 it's too late for me. Everyone in my classes and all my friends are constantly getting higher marks than me and it makes me feel even worse about my self. The worst part is I keep judging my self against my own girlfriend who seems to always get higher makes than me no matter how hard I try. Even when I'm proud of my work she'll send me hers and it blows mine out of the water and It really sucks. Especially when I'm writing an essay for lit, it'll take me forever to write a single paragraph but my girlfriend will finish the entire thing in a single night and easily get 90% while mine completely sucks and barley makes sense. I've been trying really hard this year to improve it but nothing's changed and i'm starting to feel like I can't do anything about it and it really sucks because as childish as this sounds I really really really wish I was actually smart but I fear its too late for me to change. Not only so I can reach my life goals of working as an engineer but also just so I can feel like I fit in with everyone else. I've kind of gotten to a breaking point now where everytime my girlfriend send me her essay or a paragraph I have a mini breakdown because I feel so bad about my own intelligence. I know this all sounds pretty stupid in the grand scheme of things but it's really important to me

white knight Worry, worry worry: financial stress
  • replies: 4

Being retired I cant imagine the hardship some younger than I are going through. Uncertain times even if you are working or both working - when will one of you be asked to drop down to 3 days a week? Some families live week to week, no savings and fi... View more

Being retired I cant imagine the hardship some younger than I are going through. Uncertain times even if you are working or both working - when will one of you be asked to drop down to 3 days a week? Some families live week to week, no savings and find it near impossible to do so. Then when your salary is cut or an unexpected bill arrives it's stress of huge proportions. Take cars for example. They are more reliable than years ago but just getting a service can be a huge expense. Our car's turbo seized and it cost us $4,000. Luckily we had the money at the time but if your saving ability is say $50 it would take 18 months to save for that and I bet some unexpected expenses come in that time that erodes your savings away. So I would like those that have serious debt issues to not be afraid to seek out a financial adviser or even a friend that is financially capable. Furthermore if your finances collapse especially during this pandemic, dont be ashamed nor afraid to file for bankruptcy. Bankruptcy isnt the end of the world. You will get immediate relief and yes creditors will claim this and that like your car and your home- sounds terrible I know but I's suggest you treat the next 3 years while bankrupt as a period whereby you are resetting your life. You will be permitted to have some credit so you can afford white goods etc. Check with your financial adviser of research that aspect of the process. Life has its ups and downs. Some of us is capable of being tight in a fiscal sense, others not, it isnt a blame game so you shouldnt feel ashamed. Learn from it, wait the 3 years and allow that period to be a time of planning so when that period is over you can be wiser and hopefully in more stable times. Does anyone have any suggestions? TonyWK

Artiekat5 Diagnosed with anxiety nearly 10 yrs ago, decided to go off my meds, i think i was faking it all along
  • replies: 7

hi, i was diagnosed with anxiety 10 years ago, when i was 6, i am currently 15 (i also have ADHD, ASD, and Asperses) me, my boyfriend, and the friends that i have told think that is is very likely that i have depression, BDD and Other specified feedi... View more

hi, i was diagnosed with anxiety 10 years ago, when i was 6, i am currently 15 (i also have ADHD, ASD, and Asperses) me, my boyfriend, and the friends that i have told think that is is very likely that i have depression, BDD and Other specified feeding and eating disorders (OSFED). two days ago, i decided to stop taking my antidepressants to test a theory that i had, that it was my antidepressants making me feel like i wanted to die, and to hurt myself, and making me think i had the things said above, and i have been good since then. i am now doubting everything that i thought i was feeling, doubting that i have anxiety, and thinking that i have been faking all these years (with anxiety) and for the past month (depression, BDD and OSFED). i did tell my mother about the things that i have a high chance of having, and that i was slightly suicidal and she said "you have no reason to want to KMS" and she also said that the BDD and OSFED was normal for teenage girls, and complety invalidated me. my main point is that i think it was my meds causing all these emotions, and that i was faking, and i dont know what to do (my antidepressant also help me sleep, and i cant sleep without them). i have been good for 2 days and i am confused. PS (sorry for the horriable sentence structure, my english subject isnt my best, also this is my first post here so i have no idea if i did it right?) thank you

Pupubear I have dreams and goals i WANT but i keep losing interest.
  • replies: 7

There is loads of complex things that have happened in the past and I currently cant afford a psych...... so I am beyond the point of lost. (1)Now i have my first kid on the way, i know i am deeply happy about that. But nervous! (2)I have made a huge... View more

There is loads of complex things that have happened in the past and I currently cant afford a psych...... so I am beyond the point of lost. (1)Now i have my first kid on the way, i know i am deeply happy about that. But nervous! (2)I have made a huge mistake that hurt someone and it haunts me. (3)My anxiety ( assumed by doctors and myself )Picks up a lot and creates situations in my head that i believe is real, running from my father and my partner having sex to demon under the bed. (4)Work and money with Covid-19... i know we are all in this. (5)My dreams i have and life goals i cant reach because of drive or something... (help) (6)Past depression, self harm and attempts. (7)Abandonment issues. and more.. wooo i know right semi normal start to life....... But i dont want to keep on this path im on. These dreams i have i want to get too. I want them badly and love the thoughts i have of them. But from (3) and (5) i struggle. Its a daily thing. First i get started, I write my book and start to learn to speak Spanish or a bunch of other stuff i want to do (my goals). But then something clicks and i ether shut down or my anxiety starts to run a thought threw my head and it feels so real i just stop. Quick touch up on the anxiety. I get caught up in thought. At the time it seems so real and i react as it is (never voicing it to anyone its not who i am) For others i explain it as like the matrix. How they add something to the environment and you see it as real, its been there the full time. the only way you can tell its not is look so closely at it. (and that can hurt) Back to it, i want these goals so badly, i just cant seem to shake these moments i lose interest in my goals. I have tried many of the surface level stuff. Instagram inspirational posts, basic guides online and so on. But it hasn't worked for me at all. What i really need right now is some help finding a way to keep on track so i can reach my goals. Or a way to get motivation when i dont have any. The rest of my life i can handle with time and having the drive im missing. I believe at least. I am open minded and would love to hear it all. For those who may be worried for me im fine, im not depressed that i know of XD. But all jokes aside, im stuck hard. I need, want, deserve and trying to get to my goals. So please someone help. wont lie if its the same old response or something similar i will probably get stuck more.

Bibbetyboo Feeling trapped
  • replies: 3

My son is 12 months. He was walking fully at 8 months, feeding himself and already almost talking. He’s funny, charismatic smart determined but wasn’t “expected” to be because hospital staff and maternal health had been incorrectly tracking my matern... View more

My son is 12 months. He was walking fully at 8 months, feeding himself and already almost talking. He’s funny, charismatic smart determined but wasn’t “expected” to be because hospital staff and maternal health had been incorrectly tracking my maternal progress for months as well as my sons growth progress and blaming the (false) setbacks (weight) on me. I called maternal health as my son had started exhibiting clingy behaviours this week. I wasnt distressed or worried. Mums forums online are chocked full of people expressing their stories on this clingy 12 month stage as being pretty typical. The help said she’s never heard of 12 month clingy ness and started screening me for abuse and told me 1 hour daily outdoors for 12MO isn’t enough even in the rain? She kept me on the phone an hour trying to book me more maternal health appointments, last was 2 weeks ago. She started digging into my mental health and suggesting a counsellor for no reason. I really felt this woman said as much as she could to make me feel like i was a problem. She asserts that I should be taking my son to a G.P fortnightly and demanded that I see maternal health more. We are in lockdown right now otherwise we have playgroup 5 times a fortnight which is facilitated by maternal health? We really dont need to! I felt like i was being interrogated. She was talking over me and not really even listening I had to keep correcting her and repeating myself. Its not the first time i have spoke to this lady on the maternal health line either, and i have hung up on her before for the same reason. She told me my son wasn’t cows protein intolerant and that was too rare (she’s nor a Dr by the way) it turned out he was CPI and was getting sick. I had to put him on script formula. The MHN on the phone demanded to know “WHO TOLD ME” to give my own son a toddler bottle? I explained the weening process to her confused that she didn’t seem to know what it was! Am I his mother or are maternal health? Stressing mothers about breast feeding to the point of breakdown, trying to push post-natal depression rather thn recognising colic or potential lactose problems? They’ve given me conflicting and confusing information that i think at times has been personally bias against me and when they sit in our conversations at playgroup, they wont let the mothers give each other advice because we are not maternal health - not joking! Thinking of complaining. Anyone else had a hard time with maternal health?

Claire_W Adjustment disorder & anxiety.
  • replies: 14

Hi, it's Claire, I'm new here! Slowly working my way through this with a lovely psychologist may Be for a year now. Struggling with one of my triggers being the only friend that I opened up to. This is so hard, confusing. Just would dearly love to ch... View more

Hi, it's Claire, I'm new here! Slowly working my way through this with a lovely psychologist may Be for a year now. Struggling with one of my triggers being the only friend that I opened up to. This is so hard, confusing. Just would dearly love to chat with others going through similar ongoing experience. C