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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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nick99 Severe health Anxity
  • replies: 1

I have suffered from heart palpitations, health anxiety and general anxiety for about 27 years. Add to that an absolute fear of doctors. I have thought for the past thirty years I've had all manner of terminal illness's. My palpitations can occur for... View more

I have suffered from heart palpitations, health anxiety and general anxiety for about 27 years. Add to that an absolute fear of doctors. I have thought for the past thirty years I've had all manner of terminal illness's. My palpitations can occur for long periods, seem to be elevated by eating certain foods, like salty crisps. I recently had to rush to the emergency ward of the hospital because I had been getting zigzag lines in my vision. They took my blood pressure and heart rate and the first thing the doctor asked was do I suffer from anxiety. After four hours of a team of doctors studying my eyes I was released with the diagnosis of ocular migraines. So now I have this horrid eye thing and my palpitations have returned. The health anxiety is going through the roof now. My question is if doctors examined me and they took my heart rate and blood pressure would they have kept me in if I had a heart issue? I was released without anything except my blood pressure was a bit high but they suggested it was because I was so stressed. Never really gone to a doctor about it as I have such a fear of them. Only went to hospital this week because I thought I had a retinal tear and didn’t want to go blind.

Eiffel The structure of Anxiety and its importance in our happiness
  • replies: 1

Hi, What does everyone think about the nature of our anxiety? We often feel and say things like "My anxiety makes me feel like this or that" or "I have anxiety and so struggle with such and such". We all have a habit of making anxiety an object that ... View more

Hi, What does everyone think about the nature of our anxiety? We often feel and say things like "My anxiety makes me feel like this or that" or "I have anxiety and so struggle with such and such". We all have a habit of making anxiety an object that we feel, and this may be incorrect. I'm not saying anxiety is good, far from it! However, if we begin our assessment of our feelings from an error, we will not be as effective in our attempts to understand ourselves. I shall explain. Jean-Paul Satre says that "we are our possibilities and organise and our relationship with the world by transcending that instrumental complex toward ourselves. We ARE this anxiety" (last paragraph p317pdf or p250 printed book page, https://yunus.hacettepe.edu.tr/~cin/Being%20And%20Nothingness/Being%20and%20Nothingness%20-%20Sartre.pdf) I know he's talking about jealousy, but I think it is the same for anxiety. What this means is that our Anxiety is not "over there" as an object we can feel or describe. It is part of us. This would explain why its so difficult to get rid of Anxiety without sedation. If we can accept Anxiety as being "us", rather than as "a thing", as a starting point, we are going to have better success in living happier lives than by beginning from an erroneous assumption that we can destroy an external fear. For example, If we attack the anxiety, because we want to get rid of the "object/thing of anxiety" but it is actually a part of us, then what we will be doing is attacking ourselves. I'm not saying we should leave anxiety alone, far from it! I think we should work with it rather than against it. This also goes a long way to explain the brilliance of Kierkegaard's statement "Anxiety is an expression of the perfection of human nature" (The Concept of Anxiety, sorry dont have a page number for that one) What does everybody think?

Daniel_83 Reaching 40 - not sure how to deal with it?
  • replies: 5

I am reaching 39 in a couple of months, and not a day goes by without obsessively thinking about reaching the big "4". I feel like I'm wholly unprepared and not mentally ready to be reaching what I consider to be nearing my sunset years. I spent the ... View more

I am reaching 39 in a couple of months, and not a day goes by without obsessively thinking about reaching the big "4". I feel like I'm wholly unprepared and not mentally ready to be reaching what I consider to be nearing my sunset years. I spent the good part of my 30s navigating a very stressful and difficult life. At 39, I feel the last 4-5 years have flashed by without me noticing it, and I'm feeling very unprepared about the other aspects of my life. I have no kids and my wife doesn't seem keen, but I'm worried about loneliness and isolation at old age. But at the same time I'm not sure I have the emotional maturity nor the tenacity to raise a good kid. I still spend 1-2 hours playing mobile games everyday at 39 years old. I consider myself to be a fairly sensible person - i live a frugal life, I save and invest most of my income regularly, and I always put my work above playing video games, and my work performance has been excellent. Hoping to hear experiences of others who have transitioned through this stage or am also dealing with the same anxieties now. How did you cope with it? If you're already in your forties - looking back, what would you have done differently?

Anonymously_Me Massive panic attacks after Vaccine- Please help
  • replies: 20

Hi, so I want to start by saying I'm all for the Covid vaccine and people should get it. So after I got the jab I knew that I'd feel like fainting and told the nurse and doctor about it- Knowing how my anxiety affects me I wanted to get to it before ... View more

Hi, so I want to start by saying I'm all for the Covid vaccine and people should get it. So after I got the jab I knew that I'd feel like fainting and told the nurse and doctor about it- Knowing how my anxiety affects me I wanted to get to it before it got bad. I needed to lie down and then on the way home had to lie down in the car as every time I got up and felt like vomiting. But I knew that would happen so anyway. I got it a couple of days ago and I keep getting constant anxiety about blood clots and not being able to breath- which has been making it difficult to breathe. Last night I had 2 extreme panic attacks that required my Mum to help me with breathing and counting, I was shaking I was sweating I was rocking back and forth and crying and I was asking my Mum to help me I was in so much mental pain and so emotional and distractions won't helping which I normally do to help calm me down, I tried sleeping with my fidget cube in my hand, listening to music and watching tv and nothing helped because I was in this continuous cycle of fear and my anxiety kept adding to that. After half an hour I managed to calm down but then it flared up again. I had to wake my brother up and asked if I could watch some TV in his room for a bit which helped. Finally later on I managed to somewhat sleep but even today when I got up now it's got me again and it keeps coming back. Please if anyone can think of anything to help because it's tiring and it's like getting constant panic attacks I've had anxiety for all my life but this is extremely emotionally painful

T1278910 Sport trouble and general confidence
  • replies: 6

I have had a history of mental health issues and only recently started getting into things again. Haven’t been to high school due to these issues or done anything wondering if experience is apart of the problem but I’m almost 17 and I’m eager to star... View more

I have had a history of mental health issues and only recently started getting into things again. Haven’t been to high school due to these issues or done anything wondering if experience is apart of the problem but I’m almost 17 and I’m eager to start. I have been interested in playing sport and prior to having mental health issues I was typically the better player and played the very highest level of basketball, athletics and afl. In trainings I am mostly fine but in games i tend to panic which makes me do things I wouldn’t usually do. Yet to play a game, but worried about the outcome and have had really bad confidence trouble even though I’m capable. Would love to learn to have confidence and be calm for sport especially and for life and more . Any tips or stories would be much appreciated

...Gekota Tested Positive: anxiety overload
  • replies: 2

Hi (possible Ed tw??) i just found out today that I have covid, and I understand that testing positive is a bad thing for everyone but it’s already got my anxiety thriving. I’ve been separated from my family in a different part of the house which I k... View more

Hi (possible Ed tw??) i just found out today that I have covid, and I understand that testing positive is a bad thing for everyone but it’s already got my anxiety thriving. I’ve been separated from my family in a different part of the house which I know is probably going to make my mental health plummet considering my parents are literally everything to me and I could not be more grateful and after a bad day (but basically everyday) I usually just lie in my mums arms and that feeling is everything. I’m in two minds on missing school because it’s good because I absolutely despise school but being at home means I could miss school work at fall behind and fail. Even though I do get pretty good grades I’ve always had so much anxiety and pressure around school about having to do well. It was beginning to get better this year but I think it’s going to get worse now. Also when I’m at school I have less stress about food, being at home with my parents makes me have to eat three meals a day and that is really freaking me out, I know I’m supposed too and I’m trying to be better but the idea of that is really scaring me. Due to my Ed I have a lot of anxiety over food, there are certain foods that feel safe to me but I have to make them and I have to have them a certain way and I won’t be able to make those foods and I’m really really terrified of that because the idea of someone else making those safe and comfortable foods for me makes me so anxious and then it’s no longer feeling like a safe food. I also had a really important doctors appointment tomorrow to help get me some support with gender things which had already been moved. And it just feels like everything keeps going wrong for me, I know that’s selfish but it feels like everything keeps falling apart as soon as it’s supposed to get better. I feel worse mentally then I do physically right now and I just really really want a hug, but I can’t have one. The first huge quarantine was the start to my mental health being demolished and it’s been really really bad lately already and It already feels as though I’m so far down the hole and this makes me feel like I’m going to break through the bottom and fall even further. I know it’s only a week if I test negative and I’m probably overreacting but this is all making me really overwhelmed, mostly over food and I just want it to stop

pvroom I believe I have OCD
  • replies: 6

I have had anxiety my entire life but the past few years have led to a long journey of self discovery and I have realised that my anxiety goes beyond generalised anxiety. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts but I don't do the typical OCD compulsions o... View more

I have had anxiety my entire life but the past few years have led to a long journey of self discovery and I have realised that my anxiety goes beyond generalised anxiety. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts but I don't do the typical OCD compulsions of hand washing, it's a lot more subtle and more in my head. I have quite a lot of disassociation and can't remember huge parts of my life. Sometimes with a lot of explaining, I will remember things but a lot of things are just a complete blank. I've been tested for ADHD and autism, both negative. The psychologist said likely CPTSD. I have several traumatic experiences including adverse childhood experiences. But the trauma has persisted into adulthood, and I'm now late 30s. I am quite good at hiding my anxiety and presenting a functional person which I don't really do deliberately but just feel I 'have to'. Should be functional, should pull myself together to be functional. I don't know if all of my thoughts could be explained with depression, I have never scored more than 'mild' for depression. I can't afford to see a psychologist that doesn't bulk bill, and I live in a rural area with no local psychs anyway. I saw some via telehealth but I find it very hard when they challenge me with beliefs that conflict with mine. I can be very black and white, political beliefs are extremely triggering for me. What can I do to help myself? I already do mindfulness and am on antidepressants.

PlushMonkey Intrusive irrational ocd thought.
  • replies: 2

I’ve never cheated but I’m having these CRAZY irrational thoughts that my baby isn’t my partners. It all started by a stupid dream I had that I was forced to have nonconsentual sex… this happened at the beginning 2 weeks after I found out I was pregn... View more

I’ve never cheated but I’m having these CRAZY irrational thoughts that my baby isn’t my partners. It all started by a stupid dream I had that I was forced to have nonconsentual sex… this happened at the beginning 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. I then thought… was I violated? I got over it quickly and never thought about it until the last week and I started over analysing everything and kept saying “what if my baby isn’t my partners” and I keep thinking about the time I had the weekend before I found out I was pregnant. I was at home with my 3 younger sisters and my sisters boyfriend with his two guy mates who are like 10 years younger (they’re 17 and I’m 27) and I was black out drunk and I went to bed and I keep having irrational thoughts that they have came into my room and ... while I’ve been sleeping and my sisters are covering it up. It sounds so stupid I had to freaking ask my sister if anyone came into my room that night and she looked at me like I’m stupid and said no? But apart of me is like is she lying? lol. I keep reassuring myself by saying: For example Im like 1) my sisters would of told me straight away or atleast by now, if it wasn’t my sisters it would be my mum because my sisters are loud mouths… plus they’re so aware of their surroundings so if one of the boys did go into my room they’ll know straight away because they’re the type of people if they haven’t seen anyone in a tiny while then they’ll search the house lol 2) I remember waking up the next morning and I still had my dress, undies and big baggy jumper on… even tho I don’t remember going into bed I remember one of my sisters coming into the room at 4:30 to wake me up to drink again but I said no. 3) I’ve became obsessed with the idea of conception now and I’m like well if something did happen to me in my sleep and everyone’s covering it up then I know when I conceived as the ultrasound dates lead back to conception 5 days before that date and I had a blood test indicating I was ovulating and was intimate two days after that blood test and that’s what my ultrasound goes back on 4) I cannot get a positive pregnancy test 7 days after being intimate especially when I had a strong pregnancy test.. like I’ve became obsessed over the idea of my sister lying to me and it actually happening. panicking for no reason and having a crazy irrational thoughts even tho I know how conception works, I trust my sister saying the truth and she even swore on her sons life because I asked her too because of my anxiety

Baileybasil How do I deal with anxiety about the future and that life has no meaning?<br />  
  • replies: 4

I’ve had a rollercoaster of a few months, I’ve found a decent combination of anti depressants thankfully which have helped my energy and depression a little. My problem is, I’m making forward moving actions in my life like setting study up and I’m ju... View more

I’ve had a rollercoaster of a few months, I’ve found a decent combination of anti depressants thankfully which have helped my energy and depression a little. My problem is, I’m making forward moving actions in my life like setting study up and I’m just absolutely dreading it. life to me is pointless and mundane, I’m not sure if it’s my meds or mdd but all my interests are boring as hell to me now, I just sit there ruminating about how much the future is going to suck. I’ve recently moved to a small town and I feel very isolated having only my L’s and the shortage of psych sessions are crazy. I’ve waited months between sessions. How do I shake the thought that life has no meaning and accept/enjoy life and responsibility?

Guest_1573 Why Does Everything I Do Go Pearshaped?
  • replies: 6

Hi All Yes me again. There has been a lot of drama recently regarding the dear dog I fostered....suffice it to say I wrote a scathing report on the website and I was called up and had to discuss why I said what I did. I again was made to feel like a ... View more

Hi All Yes me again. There has been a lot of drama recently regarding the dear dog I fostered....suffice it to say I wrote a scathing report on the website and I was called up and had to discuss why I said what I did. I again was made to feel like a total nutcase. All I wanted to do was rescue the dear soul and there was so much backstabbing and gossip and it made a heck of a lot of trouble. Basically one particular individual was making trouble from day one and I do not understand why. She lied to me and she played chinese whispers and upset a lot of people. All I ever did was state my concern about the lack of follow through and the lies that were told to me about the dear dog. I do not know how I get myself into these situations over and over again. Deep down I think it is because I care so much and I get infuriated at people's lack of conscience and so forth. I seem to be an ars.hole magnet. Various people treat me like an absolute imbecile and it is getting to the point where I don't want anything to do with anyone. Yes I was wrong to post the review and five hours after I deleted it as I felt bad. But....the bu..shi. they put me through upset and infuriated me so much it made me feel better at the time. Everything I said was true. I felt so bad I donated $500 to the group for the dogs. I still feel bad and I still have had no communication regarding the dogs I have applied to adopt. Why are people so mean and horrible? I just don't get it. So I am now in a hole that I don't even care to crawl out of. This recent debacle has just stirred up memories of all the good I have done in the past that was negated by horrible, selfish and cruel people. I don't know anymore. It is not even worth trying as everytime I do something to help it goes wrong and I end up being the bad guy. Because I stick up for myself and the dogs! Ugh I hate most people right now and I don't think I will pursue rescuing a dog from any of them. Very traumatised and upset. Thanks for reading.