Ashamed about my anxiety

[anmay]

Hi All, I'm new here & decided to post as I'm really struggling.

My anxiety is off the charts at the moment. I remain undiagnosed, when I see the GP I skirt around my mental health issues as I think I'm either in denial or ashamed. I've recently sought counselling support for past trauma & am on a waiting list of a few weeks as its a free service, however this admission of something I've kept secret for years has opened up pandoras box and I'm not coping but I hide it really well. I put on a face to the world that isn't how I really feel.

I haven't slept overnight for the past week. I'm having panic attacks laying in bed unable to sleep. I haven't gone to work the past few days. My mind is constantly in overdrive, I feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time until I'm just in a zombie like state. I know I should get up and out of bed & go for a walk, do some meditation, talk with someone openly, go to work, get to sleep early... but I can't seem to manage doing anything at all. No one is aware how much I'm struggling as I'm ashamed to admit I may have a mental illness. I come across as ok. I can be around people and have conversations however I'm constantly thinking about how anxious I am, which turns into paranoia and then my heart races and I feel sick in the guts, but I will still just sit and pretend nothings happening on the inside. I'm worried I've screwed my life up and will end up institutionalised. I just want to feel normal again.

If anyone can relate or offer some insight or advice, I'd really appreciate it.

[blondguy]

Hi Anmay

Welcome! and good on you for having the courage to post too!

Anxiety feelings especially severe ones can be awful, I understand as I had my first mega attack when I was 23 and yes the symptoms can be crushing

Firstly....Anxiety is very very common

Severe anxiety is no different to a serious physical problem....diabetes....a chronic virus...broken bones

We just cant see the 'injury' of having these acute symptoms

Sleep is one of the big healers of severe anxiety

Lack of sleep can exacerbate the symptoms

Stop drinking coffee if you can....this can also compound the severity of anxiety

• Please see a GP as their training is better on this than years ago when I had it....this is a crucial step forward
• Being institutionalized is very very rare and not even worth the mental energy thinking about
• Avoid overly critical/negative people as they can drag us down and make us more vulnerable to attacks

There is no shame at all with having anxiety. There are many kind people here that have similar problems that can be here for you.

• The Good News! Anxiety symptoms do reduce in severity a great deal with regular visits to your doc 🙂

Have a look around the anxiety part of this forum as there are many great tips that will help you.

Please do see your GP asap and have a yak about what you are going through....You will feel better

I really hope you can stick around the forums Anmay 🙂

my kind thoughts for you

Paul

[MsPurple]

Hi anmay

Thanks for posting, it can be really hard posting for the first time. It is hard admitting you may have a problem but it is good you are seeing a counsellor.

For me I struggled to bring it up to a doctor. I had gone to appointments for antibiotics or a script, and I tried to bring it up but couldn't. I got around this by calling up the clinic and booking an appointment saying it is for a 'mental health plan/enquiry'. This meant the doctor knew exactly why I was there and they bought it up. You can even ask the receptionist on the phone which dr they would recommend for a mental health plan.

People seem to think getting help is easy, but that is not always the case. It can be hard to bring up issues to a stranger. But trust me it is all worth it in the end. I have gotten the support for my GAD (now diagnosed and explained to me) and I am now happier and less anxious then I have been in years. Doctors are their to help and they understand tht the appointment may cause anxiety and they do their best to help us with that at the appointment.

With struggling to do things in the day due to your anxiety, unfortunately this is part of the illness. But it does get better with help and support. Even well, there maybe a few bad days. You may think you should go for a walk to help, but you should do whatever you think is best for you. This could be watching a movie, reading a book, calling a friend anything. Don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day and you can't manage to get out of the house. Be kind to yourself. Tell the doctor and counsellor about these feelings and they an help you with some strategies on this as well. I suggest just doing something, even if it is watching a movie, just something to keep your mind off the anxiety. Also know yourself and don't beat yourself up if you stay in.

Hope this helps and please keep us updated. Feel free to ask more questions or keep coming back here for support

[anmay]

Thankyou Paul, yes sleep is so vital I'm hoping to get back on track with that, it's just been so hard lately. I'm glad to hear being institutionalised is not going to happen 🙂 I will be taking your advice while seeking professional guidance too as I really can't go on like this for much longer. Its been almost a week now. I have hope things will get easier. Thanks again.

[anmay]

Thanks MsPurple. Its true, making that call to the GP is hard but I'll be onto that today although I'm still the worst for wear, but I need help and should get the mental health plan organised asap. Its relieving to know I'm not alone and these feelings don't have to stay within me forever. It's just so bizarre, it's like its all snuck up on me and I'm paralysed. I really appreciate the advice and support. Many thanks.

[blondguy]

Hi Anmay

Thanks for posting back...Its always to hear back from a poster 🙂

If you need us or even just need a vent or chat we are here for you

I hope your week is good to you

my kind thoughts

Paul