Apocalyptic Anxiety (trigger warning: space)

[qarasuv]

Hi, I'm new here.

I am terrified of asteroids, comets, and anything else space can throw at us. Currently I have been in a slow-burn freakout for weeks, checking the news every hour, feeling like I'm about to die. I've had lifelong OCD but it's only in the past month that my obsessions have become this intense and this apocalyptic, and I am really struggling and don't know what to do.

I'm in a rural area so my options are very limited. I've seen a GP who agrees I need to see a psychologist pretty urgently, but she said there is absolutely no chance of getting in to see anybody - urgently or not - for at least 6-8 weeks. These invasive thoughts are constant, unrelenting, and extremely vivid; nothing can distract me from them, and I am in lockdown, so no option of taking a day trip or seeing friends to take my mind off it.

I've been trying and trying and trying to find information online about what to do, but nothing seems applicable to my particular situation. Information on panic attacks all seems to assume that the main cause of distress is the panic attack symptoms; I don't care about my racing heart or shortness of breath, I care about what I'm scared is about to happen. Anxiety information is tailored to stuff like "what if my house gets broken into?" or "what if I say something embarrassing in public?", not obsessions on this terrifying level. Stuff online about dealing with intrusive thoughts gives me conflicting opinions - do I challenge the thought, or try to ignore it? Is it best to push it away, or it that repression that will make it come back stronger? Do I try to distract myself with mental exercises, or is that a compulsion? Breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation used to work, but they don't anymore. I exercise daily and eat well and don't drink.

Any help or support would be much appreciated. I don't think I can take 6-8 weeks more of this with no help whatsoever.

[Petal22]

Hello qarasuv,

yes you will have days that you go a bit backwards but that’s when you release you are in the ocd cycle eg by checking the news....checking the news is part of you getting into your cycle so once you realise this stop doing it... go back and focus on the present moment 😊 this way you are stopping the cycle 😊 if you can go outside be mindful feel the sun on you, how do your feet feel, what can you hear? It all takes practice 😊

that’s great you Dad is taking an interest in your mental health 😊

[tranzcrybe]

Hi qarasuv,

Just checking in - you really do have an incredible grasp on your situation and a fantastic humour to what is a most difficult obsession (- love the line about becoming monks!).

News or no news seems to make no difference so you are constantly anxious either way. Ever thought about 'blocking' yourself from such websites?

Anyway, I like your positive attitude and wish you every success.

Regards,

t.

[qarasuv]

Thank you all for helping me so far. I promise not to use this thread as my personal therapist forever - but it's still ten days until the doctor said they'd even have my mental health care plan ready, and I need to talk about something that happened today.

We had a traffic accident on the highway. Some farm equipment flew off the tray of a ute in front of us and almost came through our windscreen. It didn't - the front of the car is very banged up, but it could have been much worse. But I've found that the stress from that event has tied right into my asteroid obsession. Especially with a simile used earlier, with asteroids as rocks flying through the windscreen on the highway... it just keeps circling round and round in my head, and I am struggling to calm down.

I believe events have meaning. How do I convince myself this wasn't a warning, or in any way significant to my phobia? It was unpleasant enough, but I'd had my anxiety almost under control and now this has woken it right back up again.

[Petal22]

Hi qarasuv,

Sorry to hear about your accident,... I hope you are ok ...

can you try to slow your breathing down?

focus your attention on something in the present moment... like if you are washing the dishes the sounds, smells, touch.....

practice your meditation......

and talk....

😊

[tranzcrybe]

Hi qarasuv,

Sorry to hear of your accident and the untimely correlation to an earlier remark I made. The important thing to remember is that everyone is okay because of all the things between you and the machinery (so I guess my argument still stands?). Not that I can say the same for the front of the car though - I hope that is all handled easily through insurance.

This was a coincidence from which you drew a correlation - The anxiety of the accident was bad enough but you should only see the event as a singular, unforeseen, and unrelated outcome.

I hope everyone else is safe and can help calm you down. I am sure everyone is a little shocked as well as you - your more passive acceptance may help them to relax also.

Use Petal22's techniques and you will regain composure.

Regards,

t.

[qarasuv]

OMG I am having a HORRIBLE DAY. I just went outside with my mum, saying "I need to get over my phobia of the night sky". As we're standing there stargazing, the Starlink satellite goes overhead. It looks like a string of slowly moving, very close stars. I hadn't heard about it, wasn't expecting it, didn't know wtf it was, and it scared the absolute crap out of me. Now I am having a panic attack, and to make matters worse, when I was googling Starlink to find out what the hell I just saw, I find all these reports that it's making asteroid detection so much more difficult with the light pollution.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Petal22]

Sorry to hear this quarasuv that your day isn’t going to well .... well done though for going out and looking at the night sky 😊 revert back to your stratergies..... try to stop googling....

you are stronger than you think 😊

[qarasuv]

Thank you, both of you. I am sorry - it is so frustrating to keep flip-flopping back and forth like this. I have been panicking hard for about two hours now. Every time I manage to calm it down, regulating my breathing and meditating, there's another intrusive thought - I try to just let them wash over me, but it doesn't work - and it all starts over again. It's happened about five times now, just these endless waves of panic. It just feels so real and vivid. This is horrible, I am exhausted.

I hate that it's going to be so long before I see a psychologist. I tried MindSpot and a few other online mental health services, but it's just this maze of basic fact files that tell me things I already know, and surveys that I fill in and it says "Book a consultation with your GP and consult a clinical psychologist!" Every option just goes round and round in circles, and the end destination is always being told to do something that's not going to be available to me for months.

[tranzcrybe]

Hey qarasuv,

No need to apologise. You certainly have been put through the wringer lately, but also show remarkable poise despite your high levels. Acknowledging your anxiety is a positive step to management - you have the control others struggle with, and I think you're doing remarkably well.

What's more, you have overcome many fears by proving to yourself the actual outcomes had little in common with your expectations. Take care, qarasuv, you are succeeding.

Regards,

t.

[Petal22]

You don’t need to apologise.... I understand intrusive thoughts can be difficult with the anxiety that goes with them.....you are doing your best... does a warm shower help? Try to be mindful of the water how it feels ect....

You can always call Beyond Blue and speak to a trained councillor...

You are not alone..

If it gets to much don’t be afraid to go to your nearest emergency department....

I hope you are ok... keep in touch... keep talking....