Anxiety won't let me go

[Kengy]

Hi there

I suffered a massive anxiety attack in September, to the point where I was hospitalised for a week. Since that time, my anxiety has been up and down, but mostly up. However, this last week, my anxiety has been dreadful. I had Monday and Tuesday off work, went yesterday, had a good day, then spent last night have strange dreams and hot flashes. I feel awful, and I'm at work. I don't know if I'll last today. I feel like I'm going crazy. 

[Neil_1]

Hi Kengy

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and providing your post.

September sure sounded like a very bad time for you – subsequent from that, I’m guessing you’ve been to your local GP, yeah?   Have they placed you on any anti-anxiety tablets at all or other kinds of medication?

While in hospital, did they work with you to try and give you some things that you can do to self-help yourself in the future, to assist with keeping your anxiety to a reasonable level?  If so, have you been trying to work on these things of late?

I’m really pleased to hear that you’ve been to work yesterday and are giving it a red hot go today also.  Even if you can make it part-way through the day, that’s an achievement.

Do you have support at home or will you be going home to be just by yourself?

Would love to hear back from you.

Neil

[Rachel3]

Hi Kengy, As Neil1 says it is very important that you go to your GP and create an action plan to managing your anxiety. Everyone's action plan is different but generally your GP will suggest a counsellor or psychologist and/or look into medication.  but for while you are at work i would suggest finding a quiet place, sitting down, closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing. put your hands on your stomach and feel your stomach expand when you breathe in and go back down when you breathe out, as you breathe in and out count your breaths up to ten and then start back from 1 maybe 3 times. another thing that might help you calm yourself is going through your senses for example i can hear rain and a family member watching tv, i can see the screen of my computer, i can smell lavender, i can feel the seat below me and my keyboard as i type. there are also many meditation type apps which can walk you though a short meditation which might help calm you. 

You are doing so well just to be trying to go to work, youve got this and its okay if it takes you time to learn how to manage it. ive had anxiety for as long as i can remember and its taken me years to be okay. 

-Rachel

[Kengy]

Hi guys 

Thank you so much for replying. I managed to last until 4pm, and now  I'm on the train home. I'm currently on a fairly high does of a SSRI. It seems to work fairly well. I certainly don't feel as bad as I did when I was hospitalised. I have a GP, a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and I've learnt lots of calling techniques both in hospital and with my psychs. I've tried the calming techniques and breathing techniques today, with only limited results. Of course, I haven't had a great chance to practice them all day, because I'm in a big office, and I've been busy. My physical symptoms are so bad today, that I feel extra anxious. I'm glad I could vent on here though, my family are great and supportive, but they don't quite understand what I'm going through. 

[Mummybee]

Hi Kengy,

Neil has given you some spot on advice, and it sounds like you have a good team of professionals to help you.

If you don't mind me asking, what are your physical symptoms? There are a few good things that help to alleviate them depending on what they are.

Mummybee

[Kengy]

Hi Mummybee

My physical symptoms include heart palpitations, nausea, and burning under my arms. I've also got that 'on edge' feeling. It's awful.

[Neil_1]

Hi Kengy

Thanx so much for your most recent responses and that was so awesome to hear you made it through for Day 2.  You know, in a round-about kind of way, having a job that is busy can be a benefit – it can occupy us so much that it can push our issues and anxieties to the back of our mind.

Keep being strong and fighting – and as always, you know you’re welcome to be here at any time to post, to unload, to vent, to say whatever.

Kind regards

Neil

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Kengy and welcome,

ive been exactly where you are and I know how scary it is. Going to work is a curse and a blessing. It keeps you occupied but also you think everyone can tell and you feel like you'll never get back to how you were.

does your work know about your anxiety and if not would it be an option to talk to anyone there about it? Perhaps even in the HR department? 

the important thing is that you are still trying. You haven't given up and you are pushing for improvement. This is a huge and brave thing and I just wanted to acknowledge that.

when I'm at work and feeling anxious I make a point of getting up and moving around. My options are sitting at my desk twitching and tapping my feet or moving, so I move. sometimes just a tiny change of scenery can be helpful. We get so caught up in our thoughts and it's easy for it to spiral, so try and break the train.

youre doing the right things

[Kengy]

Hi Chicken Wings

You're right, work is both a blessing and a curse. It occupies your days, and can take your mind away from anxiety. On other days, you can barely crawl out of bed and put on a happy face. I haven't dared to tell work I've got anxiety. It would honestly ruin my career. Not that the people I work with are bad, but the industry I'm in expects us to be at the top of our game at all times. If I have time off for anxiety, I blame something else. 

I often try to move about and keep busy at work, to keep the anxious thoughts away. Sometimes, I don't want to leave work, because I think the anxiety will come back once I get home. It's a strange beast! I might see if my psychiatrist wants to up my SSRI dose at my next appointment, and see if that helps.

[blondguy]

Hi Kengy

That massive anxiety attack would have been awful for you. I sincerely feel for you. You are doing everything right.You are also healing yourself by having the strength to get on here and vent to all these kind people that have been through it as well...The power of distracting yourself like Chicken Wings wisely said is spot on...I never knew or understood this after my 1st anxiety attack. You arent going crazy Kengy.....You are strong....after all you have the strength to get on this forum and for that you are a Legend

Kind Thoughts

Paul