Anxiety - Self Diagnosed

[Anxiety123]

I feel very confident that I suffer from anxiety and have done so for approx 5 years. I've not spoken to a Dr about it, I live in a small rural town and the Dr actually lives next door to me - I'm not sure I'm actually comfortable discussing it with him. 

I have a very happy and fulfilling life - I have no reason to feel the way I do, and for that I feel ashamed and selfish. I am close to celebrating my 6th wedding anniversary with my husband whom I married at 19 years of age - we have an amazing relationship with great communication and respect for each other. We have two gorgeous, well behaved daughters aged 5 & 2. I work full time in a high pressure management role which I absolutely love. So as you can see - life is everything I could ever have hoped for. We have great friends, we're financially comfortable, we have so many hopes and dreams for the future of our family - but despite all of this, every day I feel anxious, stressed, unable to relax, fear of the unknown and other irrational stresses which truly affect my wellbeing and mental health. 

I have a lot of trouble sleeping due to my mind racing a million miles an hour, I have a terrible memory which adds to my anxiety as I stress about forgetting something important - which is highly unlikely given that I'm so organised it could almost pass as OCD! I'm an avid list writer so forgetting things really isn't very likely, but I still worry constantly about this every day. 

I don't have a fear of one thing in particular, I just worry and over think absolutely everything. I'm a control freak and I never ever relax, I'm always working on something new or stressing about something going wrong - my mind is never still. I have researched well being and mind tools extensively for approx 3 years, and I logically know what I need to do to improve my mental health - but it seems as though I can't be practical about any of it and put it into action?

I really wish I understood why I stressed so much and why I over think absolutely everything, I just wish I knew how to make myself relax and enjoy the moment. My boss is encouraging me to apply for a role which will be a huge leap in the right direction for my career and will offer a bigger wage and a relocation from the desert to the sea side which would be lovely, and while it excites me so much I keep thinking to myself "Oh you're really not good enough!" and "What if you get there and you disappoint everyone" and "What if the team doesn't like me as their new boss?" and "Maybe I don't have enough knowledge and these people will expect me to be able to support them more than I actually can!" etc ... I do this about every opportunity or situation in my life - I terrify myself thinking that I will look like a fool and I'm a fraud and I'm not the person people think I am etc. I get sweaty and shaking hands and fast beating heart etc when I'm faced with a new, uncomfortable situation and I turn it into a massive deal thinking everyone is staring at me etc. The weird thing about this is that I actually am very outgoing when I'm comfortable and am quite a loud, confident character - when I've ever had a conversation with someone about my extreme shyness and anxiety when meeting new people in different situations etc they are either really shocked or just laugh and say "yeah right! we can't shut you up - I can't see that happening!" etc .. but it's completely true, I get so so nervous when meeting new people especially in a professional sense that I want to vomit. 

So that's a bit about me and what I'm feeling - I'm really just after some advice/experience on what the best PRACTICAL treatment available is? I would really like to avoid medication, I've heard of places that offer 'sessions' where they manipulate parts of your head and neck etc to relieve muscle tension which is supposed to be very effective? Has anyone tried anything like that? I surround myself with positive triggers such as motivational quotes, reminders to do things that are good for myself, exercise and diet plans etc but they all just end up in the pile of things I stress about forgetting! I've tried to just relax and take each moment as it comes a live free, but it just doesn't work for me. I enjoy fast paced highly organised living but I really need to remove the negative thoughts and be happy! 

Thank You 🙂 

[sos54]

Hi

Oh I know what you mean about your mind racing a million miles an hour. Mine is always worse when things are going on in my life but does it all the time. I have tried and found helpful learning to meditate - I always thought it was a little crazy and resisted it and did find it difficult as I cannot push every thought away but I found after a week of doing it every night when i went to bed I could relax a lot more and generally felt better. I am also one of those 'what if' people. It comes and goes of being a problem and I think as you are in a very busy time of your life you probably just don't get time to relax enough and have your mind on nothing. Sometimes the little things make more of a difference then you think - I started having a bath once a week with candles and scent in the room and the first time I was like this is crazy but it actually did help to relax me.

I can relate to people not understanding as if you met me socially you would think I didn't shut up and was fine but it is because I am with my husband that I can do that - and I do enjoy it but still find it gets exhausting going out socialising etc and I need me time at home by myself.

If your mind races constantly do you have trouble sleeping ? That never helps.

Another suggestion might be the online courses run by http://mindspot.org.au/ They are free and you just work through them and they would help with understanding your symptoms and coming up with solutions without having to talk to your Dr all the time.

Take care of yourself and hope to hear you are going positively.

[Mary89]

Hello,

I have experienced quite severe anxiety, probably more so than yours however I can relate to constantly worrying and so on.

There is no evidence that manipulating your head and neck to relieve muscle tension has any affect on anxiety so please don't waste your money. You may not want medication but I strongly suggest you speak to a GP just to get a professional opinion. Maybe wait until you visit the city so you don't have to see your neighbour. I too was not keen on taking medication - for personal reasons not because there is anything wrong with taking medication - and I have treated my anxiety through seeing a psychologist. It has helped me immensely. However this may not be possible in your small town. However I know some psychologists are happy to do phone consults so if you can see a GP in a city, they can give you a referral for a psychologist and if you find it helpful you could have some sessions over the phone. I didn't think a psychologist could help but the effect it had was amazing, I had 6 sessions in three weeks and my anxiety had decreased so much.

Hope this helps. 

[optimistic]

People with perfectionistic tendencies feel the way you do. Something to introspect on.

One time massages may be not be permanent fix to this prb though it may provide temporary relief.

Do check out yoga, meditation and mindfulness.

CBT also helps.

Take care. God bless.