anxiety/panic/ocd

batfinq · ‎16-05-2018

25 years ago I had a severe panic attack, I went to the hospital and was sent home with some medication, I seemed to not be able to breathe propely, or take a deep breath or yawn, saw a g.p who said to exercise, so I did, however I got worse, I started thinking about and trying to control my breathing, 25 years later, numerous g.p's, psychologists and psychiatrists, different diagnosis from bipolar, ptsd, anxiety/panic disorder and others, I have lost count of medications and also suffer from insomnia due to obsessing about my breathing, when telling professionals about it I got the same reply....you know breathing is automatic so you dont have to think about it...yes i know!!!, I know take zolpidem for sleep which puts me to sleep, finally after 25 yrs I can sleep, however it doesnt stop me thinking about my breathing and bedtime silence makes it worse, I now have developed more problems, were my heartbeat is noticed, also feels like its beating in my head, I lost all friends and family doesnt want to know me, medication I was on has damaged some organs and apart from my kids life is lonely, I have been suicidal and depressed, exhausted and drained, I recently found something online fter years of searching about sensorimotor OCD. is there anywhere or anyone that is familiar with this ocd and could offer some help,

Ggrand · ‎16-05-2018

Hello batfinq,

Welcome to Beyond Blue Forums, It might have been a difficult thing to make your first post here but it's well worth it. The people here are kind, friendly and no judgement..

Im sorry your struggling with your OCD and breathing..

About 30 years ago I was diagnosed with some heart problems, well I listened to every beat my heart mad,mi even noticed every breath I took, and yes I even felt my heart speed up..That was my life all day and all night..Nights were the worse time. The quiet, the beat in your head.

I went back to my Dr and told him, then meds, councilling etc was organised, which helped me so much..

What I used to do was at night while laying down was to put on an instrumental with my earphones in, then I would pick my favourite instrument and listen to just instrument follow it right through, this took my mind off my thoughts of breathing etc..There are other types of distractions as well through the day.. puzzles, music, writing, colouring, just something to take your concerntration away from your thoughts of breathing..

Inlive alone and my sons are all over an 8 hour drive away, I can relate to your loneliness, and your thoughts, but please remember that you are so important to yourself, your kids, family friends and the wonderful people here on the forums..

This is your thread to talk anytime you feel like it.

Im waiting to listen to you, if feel to come back and talk..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..

batfinq · ‎23-05-2018

Thank you for your words, I am currently searching for somebody that is familiar with sensorimotor ocd, it is not a well known form of ocd but consumes my entire life

Ggrand · ‎23-05-2018

Hello batfinq,

I hope you can find someone that can help you..

I don't know much about sensorimotor, so I cannot really give you any constructive suggestions,,

Batflinq, if you feel like talking about anything else at all, I will be sitting here and if I'm around I will only be too pleased to chat with you.. I'm usually not to far away..

Kind thoughts,

Grandy..